High Functioning Autism - any tips to help tackle rude behaviour towards us pls?!

[Blossom4538]

Hi all,

Dd is 8 and the way she often speaks to us is horrible. She’s very up and down and can be lovely towards us one minute and just awful the next. Nothing we do seems to help.

Today I’ve been told:-

Shut up
Shut your bloody face
I am going to kill you (not jokey, genuinely like she’s threatening)
Shut up bloody Mummy
You’re going to feel my fist in your face

...numerous times. She hasn’t heard any speech like that from us! I know some of it is from a boy at school.

She also frequently talks and sings loudly about private parts, horrible songs and often tries to grab my and H’s bits!

Any tips greatly appreciated, nothing seems to stop it! 🙈😬

These are learned behaviours. I'd be focusing your attention on who she is getting them from.

Is she really stressed when this happens, or would you say she had any control? Are they the verbal expressions of someone losing it, or do you think that it is (also) coming out at other times?

Because if it is an expression of extreme anxiety then you can only reduce the stressor really. But if it's happening at other times, then you should also look at tools for those times.

Thanks all.

I’d say it’s in response to stress over sensory issues, which unfortunately are really tricky ones to help or control at times, eg. breathing sound lol, coughing or sneezing.

The words she used must be picked up from school.

I’ve explained it’s not nice but she just continues.

She has always picked up and focused on naughty behaviour when she witnesses it, even when younger at pre-school...and repeats the words at home. Not out and about or at school x