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Pregnant with number 2 the struggle is real!

2 replies

Poppywood · 15/02/2019 13:16

Just wanting to chat with anyone else in a similar position or anyone who has any words of wisdom.

My DD is 18 months, she was born at 31 weeks and suffered a brain injury, she is globally delayed, has epilepsy, vision impairment and cerebral palsy. She has just started crawling which is amazing - they thought she would never have any controlled movement at all.

We have around 1 hospital / clinic appointment a week, as well as weekly physio, hydro therapy and we have started a neuroplasticity programme which involves a set programme of exercises we should do 4 times a day - it's exhausting.

I also work three days a week and my husband works full time and many weekends.

I have recently found out I'm pregnant with number 2 - about 7 weeks along. Obviously this was our choice, we are probably totally mad, but i really went our daughter to have siblings who will always look out for her and be her friend - the life of a special needs child and adult can be lonely and I want to surround her with loving family. I also just always envisaged a big family and if I'm being honest my husband and I also just crave abit of normality, whilst we love our daughter to bits, she is a total warrior fighting miracle, it would be nice to experience the more typical side of parenting, which doesn't involve hospitals and therapies. Even just taking my baby along to a baby group would be so lovely, which I never got to do with my daughter.

So thats my justification for getting preggers again....but the struggle and guilt is real! I'm feeling terrible already, sick and tired, yet my daughter still needs her therapy and to get to all her appointments, it's so hard when all I want to do is sit and wallow in my sickly pregnancy haze! I guess every mum who is pregnant with number 2 + experiences this -makes me realise how much I took for granted just being able to go to bed when I felt terrible in my first pregnancy.

I am also having terrible guilt at how we will ensure our daughter still gets all the therapy and input she needs without the new addition being side lined - how will we balance it all? How will I push a buggy and a wheelchair along? So many thoughts going round my head! Maybe we have been too hasty and should have thought this through more but it's too late now - this baby is baking! And deep down I really do feel that in the long run this will be wonderful, just the struggle is real right now!

OP posts:
livpotter · 15/02/2019 13:55

Definitely invest in a good sling! I think I carried my dd everywhere for the first year or so, while ds was in the pram.

I found with dd while she was small, she was pretty easy to cart to appointments etc. Once she started moving under her own steam it got more difficult to manage them both.

Having said that it is easier to find childcare for dd and I organised her nursery hours so that it covered the times where ds has appointments/therapy.

Tubbymissusmacqueen · 16/02/2019 20:54

Congratulations Flowers

I have a dc with cp and had another baby when she was 3. I had very similar worries and fears but it was the best thing we did. We have found having another very healing for us and my dd has benefited so much from having a sibling.

I used a sling and a Phil and ted double buggy. And when dc got older, I had to encourage the little one to walk, rather than use her buggy , when older dd grew out of the Phil and ted and needed her wheelchair. She also sits on dd’s lap and I push them both along Smile

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