Who is parent 1 on your child’s statement?

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

I’m probably hyper sensitive and maybe this isn’t important at all.

I got DS(9) SEN statement through today. EXP is listed as parent 1 and me as parent 2. This wouldn’t be an issue if ex was involved but he isn’t. The history is that exp left when DS was just turned 1. He has taken absolutely zero to do with DSs education or his numerous medical issues. Social services became involved 2 years ago when DS made a disclosure about Exps treatment of him and SS advised me to stop contact immediately which I did. Exp was offered support from SS to undertake parenting classes which he engaged with initially and then just stopped. DC haven’t had contact in two years. Everything to do with DS statement, medical appointments, assessment, school, everything has been solely me. I’ve made every phone call, every email, every letter. Everytime there is an issue in school it is me attending. Exps hasn’t attended a single parent teacher meeting, class assembly, nativity play. Nothing. I don’t even know if he knows what class DS is in. He refused to even come and sign the forms when we were applying for the statement. Social worker had to threaten him with putting DS on a child protection plan unless he came to sign the forms. He ignored all her calls (she left a voicemail with the threat) and didn’t even tell her when he decided to turn up and sign them. When the proposed statement was sent out it listed exp as parent 1. I had a period of time in which to respond if there was anything that I didn’t agree with or was incorrect. There were other errors too and so I corrected them all and wrote that EXp has been totally absent for 2 years and has no involvement in DS life. I also supplied the name of his social worker (case now closed as EXp wasn’t not involved) incase they wanted to check anything. I stated that I was to be listed as parent 1 due to this as I deal with everything to do with DS. The statement has now come and every other error has been corrected but EXp is still listed as parent 1. Why have they done this? DS’s address and surname are both the same as mine, EXp and I were never married. There is absolutely no reason for them to have listed him as parent 1.

Should I write to them (again) and ask them to change it? Does it affect anything For DS if he needs parent signature for anything, will they approach EXp as he is listed as parent 1? He can’t be trusted to do what DS needs if it comes to that.

Anyone?

You need to get that changed. I would send a polite note (email or letter) stating that you are delighted with the SEN statement, everyone has worked really hard , will really support child etc etc. But there is still one small administrative error which needs to be amended. You had it raised in writing (give date of letter/email) but are sure that it is just an oversight. Please confirm when this has been done and for you to receive a copy of the amended document.

That positioning sounds very trivial but it could impact other things in the future. eg rival claim for Child benefit.

Thank you sponge. I hadn’t even thought of child benefit! Could it really affect my claim for it?

I had to fight a rival claim recently but we have 50:50 shared care. There are criteria for which parent receives CB if there is a rival claim. There may well be other areas where the positioning in that document could make a difference. I really think if you are polite and complimentary it will be changed without a fuss.

Thank you. You’ve been really helpful.