School - oppositional/defiant child?!

[endofwitandtether]

As per username, at wit's end with DS age 11.

He has ADHD, is exceptionally bright in some areas (99th centile) and exceptionally weak in others (2nd centile).

That's not our main issue though. He is SO oppositional. Cannot take any form of punishment without extreme meltdowns and defiance. He runs away, has left isolation room at school, and has had a three hour tantrum when his phone was confiscated before. Is rude, throws things, shouts etc. Is mostly remorseful afterwards but if he perceives any unfairness or inequity in the triggering situation, he feels justified in his actions.

I'm so scared he's going to end up in a PRU and won't meet his full potential.

Honestly, I'm scared he's going to end up in prison but let's not go there. Any help or advice please?

That must be very challenging to deal with. I don't have a lot of personal experience to share (although I do know a couple of children a bit like this) - I just wanted you to know somebody had read your post. You've probably seen this already, but I found some strategies that may be helpful here:

www.additudemag.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder-discipline-rules-video/

Take care.

I can't offer any advice but he sounds just like my 9 year old!

You might find PDA strategies useful too (I know he has ADHD, but there's no reason these types of strategies can't be utilised).

Also The Explosive Child Book by Ross Greene is excellent.

Does he have an EHCP?

I would query the strategies school are using - my DS is v Explosive / demand avoidant; mainstream school was awful because they expected him to behave like an NT child - he was restrained on a regular basis.
Now he's at SS and their approach is holistic and in tune with him and he's so much less anxious / less likely to explode etc.