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SN children

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Original poster

Am I normal to worry so much about my dd with sn?

15 replies

frascati · 02/07/2007 21:30

My dd has AS and adhd and I worry about her all the time.
I worry about what school she will go to, whether she'll get married, have friends and it is actually eating away at me. She is nearly 8. My ds who is nearly 10 I do worry abotu but no where near as much.

OP posts:

ladygrinningsoul · 02/07/2007 21:47

I just worry about school atm, I don't even have the energy to worry about the rest of the stuff overtly, but it is still eating away at the back of my mind.

mummytosteven · 02/07/2007 21:51

The uncertainty is such a headf*ck isn't it? when you just don't know how things will pan out. But the worry doesn't help matters for our children, so I guess there has to be a balance for the sake of our sanity as women as well as parents.

mamazon · 02/07/2007 21:53

well i worry about all those thinsg too. my ds has HFA also with suspected adhd, he is coming up 7.

i think its natural to worry about all our children, when those children have additional needs it requires aditional worry.....your normal

Original poster

frascati · 02/07/2007 21:54

Having a bad day and for some reason I feel so angry that my dd has an asd. It's such a complex bloody thing to deal with at times.

OP posts:

Original poster

frascati · 02/07/2007 21:55

mamazon ~ I am just wondering if there will ever be a time when things will be on an even keel if you know what I mean. Don't know lot about adults with AS/HFA.

OP posts:

coppertop · 02/07/2007 22:00

It's normal to worry, I think. ASD is so completely unpredictable that it's very difficult to plan ahead. Things that you think will be a breeze for your ds/dd turn into nightmares, and then sometimes the things that you think your ds/dd will never cope with turn out okay after all.

Original poster

frascati · 02/07/2007 22:00

lol coppertop

Annual review tomorrow so not sure is that's it????

OP posts:

Joggeroo · 02/07/2007 22:21

I think you're normal. I used to worry constantly about the future, how DS might cope with life as an adult and to be honest it was wearing me out. I had (for my own sanity) to decide to switch of from dwelling on it ans save my energy for the day to day & more short term stuff. It was a conscious and hard decision to switch off the thoughts but there was so much uncertainty I was worrying about things I jsut can't predict. Some might call it a shortsighted act but I'm a much more cheerful person now!

FioFio · 03/07/2007 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gess · 03/07/2007 08:40

aww Fio- my friend was in the same situation with her dd. It seemed to be tests for hideous things every now and then questions over regression, which then led to further tests for hideous things. Long waits each time.

I worry about epilepsy as well......

LadyTophamHatt · 03/07/2007 08:45

I think we all worry about those things but I think if your child has SN than its natural, I would expect, to worry more because life is so differnet for you and them day to day.....I don't think it makes you unusual at all frascati

(sorry to gatecrash btw)

LadyTophamHatt · 03/07/2007 08:46

sorry, that should have been a

kreamkrackers · 03/07/2007 10:07

worry, yes of course can't stop worrying. i hate it. dd1 has a very rare heart condition and nobody can tell us what her future will be like, it's so hard. she also has digeorge syndrome and so far i haven't come across any information about how long we can expect her to live for with this. but even if we did get answers it could all change like the life expectancy of somebody with down's syndrome has greatly increased. i hope she'll be independant one day and i know she won't be allowed her own children. it's so hard thinking about the future but it's hard not to worry.

expatinscotland · 03/07/2007 10:11

Perfectly normal, fras!

You're not alone.

deepbreath · 03/07/2007 17:53

I think it is normal to worry about the things you mentioned too. Major ramble ahoy

Like a previous poster, my dd has a rare condition that affects her heart amongst other things. It WILL affect the way that she looks as she gets older (she will be v. tall - probably 6ft+ and thin. Sounds like a model in the making, but the reality is v. different). I visit a forum where everyone has the same condition as her, and many of them are single and childless. Partly because the condition is hereditary, and partly because women with the condition are often advised that pregnancy can be especially dangerous for them.

As much as I know that not everyone goes by appearance alone, I know that some do, and they can be v. cruel if you don't look or behave the same way as the majority.

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