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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

On a high, but still feeling guilty.

14 replies

Dingle · 05/09/2004 18:55

Today I did the Flora LIght Womens Challenge up in Hyde Park. A great day, very tiring, especially as we set out at before 7.00 this morning.A great atmosphere, feeling really motivated to keep fit, do it again next year and raise even more money for charity....BUT...

we decided not to take dd up to London with us and she was shipped out to Nanny for the day.
The thought of carrying her and the buggy up and down the escalators, on and off the various trains,in this heat before even getting to the start line was just too much and we bottled out yesterday.
In a way I feel such a failure, she is the reason that I entered in the first place but she wasn't even there to be part of our family day out!!
Am I such an awful mum???

OP posts:

coppertop · 05/09/2004 19:04

You're certainly not an awful mum! Much as I love my two ds's, I too would have left them elsewhere if I had the option. Public transport is still a nightmare with a pushchair. .i bet dd had a lovely day with her Nanny so don't feel guilty.

Congratulations on completing the race. That was fantastic.

Original poster

Dingle · 05/09/2004 19:19

It made it worse for me that we took ds. He behaved like a little star, but couldn't work out why I didn't win! I know he is an active NT 5 year old as opposed to a 2 yr old with DS, in a buggy but...It made me feel sooo guilty, especially when you saw some of the other mums there with their little ones.

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luckymum · 05/09/2004 20:00

Dingle - well done, I ran in the Birmingham race, it was bl**dy hot! FWIW I didn't take any of my children either - its much too busy and my youngest would be stressed out not being able to see me in the crowd, plus as you say the travelling is a pain.

If you intend on carrying on why not do a Race for Life next year, they tend to be a bit quiter and more local, then your dd could be there and cheer her mum on!

Jimjams · 05/09/2004 20:02

Know exactly what you mean. Next Sunday my mum is having ds1 so we can take ds2 out for the day. We both feel incredibly guilty about it- but ds2 has never really had a proper day out (everything has to be done at a rate of knots or not at all - and we have to split up- ds2 never gets both of us). We're even going to eat lunch out somewhere! We do now plenty of "normal" families who do the same though, so perhaps this is unecessary guilt!

Jimjams · 05/09/2004 20:03

Well done by the way!

Original poster

Dingle · 05/09/2004 20:15

Thanks for for support everyone.

Luckymum- where can I find details of Race for Life?

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Original poster

Dingle · 05/09/2004 20:16

OOpps, not only my legs that are feeling worse for wear...that should be "Thanks for your..."

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aloha · 05/09/2004 20:21

Are you insane ? She would have hated it! All boiling hot, stressful and crowded. I bet she had a lovely day and you are quite mad (I don't do running, I barely do walking) but clearly a heroine! Congratulations to you!

luckymum · 05/09/2004 20:24

Dingle its here . They are more or less done for this year but will start again in May next year. Plenty of time to train

eidsvold · 05/09/2004 22:23

No way dingle - I did Flora light last year and we took dd but it was a long and very stressful day - especially getting through the tube etc with her and with the heat as there really aren't any nice shady areas for people to sit and wait for competitors. The crowds were annoying and as you said - the tube GRRR!!!! It really wasn't a day out for dd... if we had stayed I would have done it again this year and probably sent dd to stay with someone.

Well done

Saker · 05/09/2004 23:07

I don't think it is necessarily a question of whether a child has special needs. I think it does all children good to have some time by themselves with their parents and also with their grandparents etc. My two fight to be left with "Nana" by themselves - it's their idea of heaven to have her undivided attention for a morning, and then it's nice for one or both of us to spend some time with the other child. Every child whether special needs or not has different requirements and capabilities, and sometimes it's nice to concentrate on just one and give them a bit of special time. As long as they all have a turn in different ways suited to them and their needs, I think that should be seen as a positive thing, not something to feel guilty about.

jasper · 05/09/2004 23:08

Move over Paula R. Dingle's here!
Well done!

Saker · 05/09/2004 23:11

Sorry, Dingle, I should have said that I can see why you feel this is a bit different in this case because she was your motivation to enter it, but I am sure your dd would be happier with her Nanny under those circumstances. Anything that is stressful for you is likely to end up stressful for her.

Original poster

Dingle · 05/09/2004 23:45

Thanks, everyone, had my nice, huge curry & a drink or two(!!!!) Feeling much better now- just being my old, silly, run yourself down, self!!
Think I would be used to it by now.
Yes, I know you're all right, it was lovely to have some time with ds, especially now he's back at school.And as for little madam, she did have a great time at Nanny & Grandad's, much more freedom than being pushed around in a buggy all day..
Maybe next year....a glutton for punishement, that's me

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