Ds too big and strong for me to handle

[Isthisit01]

Looking for advice or anyone thstd been in a simular situation.

Ds has GDD. He's 2 and weights 12.8kilo. He's none mobile and has no communication. He also has no sense. So he kicks and flails his arms around. He won't hold on when you carry him but he will thrash about.

He is expected to eventually develop physically, he will hopefully be walking by 3. He will have a learning disability we don't know how sever and he may have asd.

The issue is he's so big and heavy and strong. He kicked me in the jaw yesterday and smacked me in the eye today. I'm struggling to carry him and I'm going to drop him eventually and he'll end up hurt.

So what do I do until he starts walking or develops enough sense to stop thrashing about all the time.

I feel like I'm not going to be capable of looking after him safely for much longer. So what do I do other than get some protective clothes and start weight lifting.

My ds went through a phase like this. He just started walking at 2 but would regularly flail about and was almost impossible to hold onto. I also got hit/kicked/punched a lot at around that age, thankfully less so now that ds is able to communicate better.

Short term could you maybe use a sling to give you some extra support in holding him? My ds didn't really like being held but did love the pressure of a sling. Could it be a sensory thing ie he is very sensitive to touch/pressure? We used the pram and went everywhere by car when we went out.

You could use ABC charts to log when the behaviour is happening and it will give you more of an idea of his triggers. the national Autistic society has some examples of these on their website.

Longer term learning and using Makaton has been very helpful for us. We also use visuals. You could start very simply using a red and green card for stop and go. You need to try and build up the use of these when he is relaxed and then build up to using them when he is stressed.

We didn't have it but do you have Portage in your area? Or other local support to help you? You can look at you local offer and see if there are local groups or centres that might be able to give you some practical support and help.

The thing is he doesn't thrash about due to stress, it's excitement. I avoid carrying him as much as possible. But I still need to carry him to bed which is so dangerous. I've nearly fallen down the stairs a couple of times.

We're doing macaton, he knows food and drink and we're trying stop and more. But it's hard to get him to look at you so he doesn't see your doing a sign when he's all rilled up.

We're with portage but he hates the woman so she can't get anywhere with him. Salt are helping.

I know this will pass but it's just so hard at the moment and I feel like I'm getting beaten up every day. I don't want to get mad at him because he doesn't mean it but he's making it hard not too.

I real feel for you! I remember how awful it was when ds was 2-3. It will get better though.

Is there a way to get him up the stairs without carrying him. Could you sit him on a step and move him up a step at a time. Make a game of it?

It sounds like the makaton is already working, I would definitely persevere. We signed for a long time before my ds picked it up, but he signs sentences now, which is amazing.

I'm sorry about the portage, that's not very helpful.

What about nursery? Maybe in a special school? Ask your portage worker for support to see what is available in your area

all I can say is learn from your mistakes, this is how I developed a technique to carry dc.

if one position results in headbutting to the face, change it,

we had: hair pulling,
bit me on the arse, (face out)
head butted face, head needed to be where he would only bang on something relatively unhurting, ie upper arm.
scratched my face

I never solved the spitting at my face one, it was all he had recourse to as everything else was dealt with.

it would not work getting up stairs though. that was tougher as the position was too wide, and he looped feet round door frames and furniture.

one tip: tickling in the middle makes it harder for them to go rigid and refuse pushchair, car seat and helps the unpeeling from bannisters,

all I can say is good luck, hope you find a solution and you are nto the only one who has had to work out how to stop a small person fro hurting you or themselves without doing damage to them.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice.

I have applied for funding and we can start him in nursery in April so that will at least give me a bit of a break.

I've been trying giving him praise when he's still and holds in when being carried, then stern No when he's kicking or struggling. Although he doesn't speak he has an understanding of tone when we speak to him so I'm hoping he will get it.

I was thinking trying sitting him on the steps as we went up. Although he's not that steady in a sit yet, but it might be worth trying.