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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Health Visitor - can I tell them not to visit?

13 replies

heartinthecountry · 02/09/2004 10:40

Since dd was born I think I have seen a HV precisely 3 times. The one who was supposed to come just after she was born hardly bothered and I think came twice (though I think she was put off when I answered the door to her with my boob hanging out ).

Since dd was diagnosed, 19 months ago, I have had precisely one visit, and that was about 4 months after the diagnosis. That HV did seem really nice but obviously wasn't that bothered about us as never called again.

Then, yesterday a different HV left a message saying she wanted to do a home visit. To be perfectly honest it really pissed me off. They have left me to cope on my own for over a year do they really think I need them now? They obviously weren't going to help me so I've done it all myself and really I don't think they have anything to offer me or my dd.

So, can I refuse a home visit? Or will that ring alarm bells? I just cannot face what I know it will be - me repeating dd's story all over again. I just cannot be bothered.

OP posts:

JJ · 02/09/2004 10:44

I don't have experience with a child with sn, but I refused HV visits. I told them that the problems I was having were being taken care of elsewhere and I was happy with the treatment.

Nothing happened to me, except the woman was a little snooty.

meea · 02/09/2004 10:51

I used to hide behind the sofa when we moved 2 years ago as our new hv used to call in at least once a week. Alarm bells ringing I guess as we had 4 kids 3 under 5.It seems really funny now as her replacement has only seen him once. I would ring them and tell that you don't need a visit.I can appreciate just how annoying it is to have to go over your childs history from day one again.
If you don't think that they have anything to offer then tell them so. Sure it willmake you feel much better.

bundle · 02/09/2004 10:58

god, my hv would love you. when i asked about developmental tests (i'm nosey) they said "you don't need one unless there's something wrong" and i said "so how do you know..."

Fio2 · 02/09/2004 11:00

HIC, it might be the special needs health visitor. Usually they do a visit to make sure you are getting the right benefits and free nappies etc. and they usually know about support groups etc.

Sorry i havent e-mailed you back by the way, i will do i am just being very lazy moo atm

lou33 · 02/09/2004 11:34

My hv calls every now and again, to ask if i need to see her, and I just say no. Never caused any problems. Mind you I didn't have a hv at all for 6.5 years where iused to live.

Could you just say , thank you very much, but your dd is perfectly fine and healthy atm, that you have everything under control atm, but you will call her if there is anything she is able to help with ?

Original poster

heartinthecountry · 02/09/2004 23:35

Am feeling like I may have got a bit over stroppy about this. You are all right - I should just politely let them know I don't think I need them to visit.

Didn't sound like she was a special needs HV - didn't know they existed - how helpful! When do the free nappies kick in by the way, is it age 2 or 3?

Fio2 - no worries - after you meet me next week you might never want to email me again!!

OP posts:

Chandra · 02/09/2004 23:57

If you want to keep a good relationship so you feel OK of ringing them if you need them in the future you can tell them you will be in holidays that day but you will contact them wehn you are back. They will forget about you for a while and will send you just the standarised mailings regarding vacunes, tests, etc.

They have been sending me letters about DS's MMR appointment, I have been in holidays all the year, will return once DS's MMRSepVax is completed

lou33 · 03/09/2004 00:17

Free nappies kick in aged 4 here (w surrey)

milge · 03/09/2004 13:10

i've just had this same discussion at dd's gp surgery today as - i find hv's useless and unhelpful, unless you have one baby and want to be harangued. Anything out of the ordinary, is too much for them. I have declined all hv appts for dd since the first post natal check, saying that i will call on them if i require any assistance. As long as they get their jabs on time, they seem happy with this. When i did need them, they took 3 days to get back to me, and dd was hospitalised by then. Was interested to hear that there is such a thing as a special needs hv! will have to investigate, but i'll bet that my local health authority doesn't have one!

motherinferior · 03/09/2004 13:16

I get letters from mine, they can't even be arsed to ring; I just ignore them.

Chandra · 03/09/2004 13:24

Milge, there may be, DS got a HV specialised in eczema at 6m old. Being honest, she know far more than the GP about the different products and medicines and when to to use them or not. Unfortunately the referral took so long that by the time we got the appointment DS's eczema was way under control, after we decided to go private ans see a real dermatologist...

coppertop · 05/09/2004 12:48

The only time I see mine is when I take the ds's in for vaccinations. We haven't had a single phone call or letter from them since ds1's 2yr development check. Even then I felt as though I was talking to myself. I'd been phoning them for months saying that I was worried and just kept getting fobbed off. On the day of the dev.check the HV asked me how many words ds1 could say.

Me: He doesn't speak at all.

HV: Well as long as he's got 6 words, that's okay.

Me: Er, no. He doesn't speak. He has no words at all.

HV: Well he MUST have a few?

Silly me! I must have been imagining the silence...

Around here, HV's only seem to be interested in weighing babies and administering vaccinations. When I realised that ds2 was going to have problems I bypassed the HV completely and got a referral via portage.

Davros · 05/09/2004 20:07

I haven't seen DS's HV since he was at least 2 if not earlier, and the HV who probably should take more interest in DS, considering that she is more at risk of developmental problems, has left me alone since I ignored the notice to go and see her (lazy cow) for a check, when do they do them, 8 months or so? She's now nearly 18 months.

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