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Refusing to do work at school

3 replies

henstooth · 21/12/2018 14:47

Hi all, DS7 is struggling at school - refusing point blank to do school work on a regular basis and so is having to frequently miss break time as a consequence. He also has meltdowns when he knows he will be punished for not doing the work and I’ve been called in a couple of times to see the senior teachers.

He has just been diagnosed with dyspraxia and his behaviour is good outside school. He has a couple of hours per week of one-to-one support in the classsroom.

He is a day dreamer and I suspect just finds school work unmotivating and boring. He is quite immature for his age and also a summer boy, which probably doesn’t help. He does have a habit of avoiding anything he finds difficult physically (which stems from the dyspraxia).

He says he doesn’t know why he refuses to do the work at school and can’t give me a reason.

School are trying to use rewards/ smiley face charts and I’ve been called in a couple of times after he’s had meltdowns. His behaviour did improve for a couple of weeks but then deteriorated again.

He is never violent or lashes out but in one outburst he told the teachers he hated them and then just point blank refused to cooperate at all for the rest of the day. He gets himself very worked up and can’t seem to calm down. At home, in the other hand, he is very good at self-soothing when he does get upset.

It’s been like this since he started school but has got worse this year - on and off and I’m really not sure what to do, now he’s in Y3 and school expectations ramp up.

He was seen by an OT and dyslexia/dyspraxia specialist who both confirmed his weak motor planning skills and in Year 1 he was observed by specialist teachers from a local autism specialist school. None of these professionals have highlighted any concerns about ASD traits. He behaves well on a one-to-one basis with adults generally. I’ve also looked up some characteristics of ASD and it doesn’t seem to match - I had a look at M-CHAT.

He is sociable, doesn’t have any significant sensory issues but does have weakness in his gross and fine motor skills, which I know impact his self-confidence.

He is bright (IQ above average to high) and is a generally well-behaved boy but a daydreamer. He often zones out - when I ask him to do something, I have to repeat the instructions several times before he takes notice. Homework can also be a battle - it does take a lot of coercion to get him to do it.

I suspect he’s avoiding work because he finds it boring but how to motivate him? His teachers think he’s got in a pattern of avoiding what he finds hard.

I’m at a bit of a loss, so are school, about what to do next.

Has anyone had any similar experience? He is happy to go to school in the mornings but would just rather play than do schoolwork I think....

Any suggestions on how to tackle this with school?

OP posts:
betterwithasetter1 · 21/12/2018 17:12

Hi henstooth. Has he been assessed by a SALT? There may be auditory processing issues affecting his ability to follow instructions. He may have got into a pattern of avoiding work because he's feeling anxious about not being able to remember what he's been asked to do. Just a thought.

KisstheTeapot14 · 23/12/2018 16:43

We are in a similar boat, DS is 9 and in Y4 but pretty much the same (no meltdowns but is not very motivated by school - I always say its like doing a job for years where your skillset doesn't match the role..how would we feel? Pretty demotivated).

I agree with auditory processing and press for an Educational Psychologist assessment for strengths and weaknesses like processing speed and such. Our DS does a mix of activities like motor skills sessions 30 to 45 mins a day, small group for literacy - using laptop, movement breaks as recommended by OT (deep pressure like self hugs and squeezes). He also goes horseriding one morning paid for by us/in school time. Handwriting sessions - fun games as well as actual writing. So he gets a mix of activity through school. I encourage him to go to things like choir, pottery etc after school clubs.

As for not working in school, its not your job to come up with solutions. If school are struggling to know how to tackle (and you'd think they would have come up against this before), they should seek professional advice. You are obviously doing the right things at home.

I would say go easy on penalising and go for a rewards based approach, where he works towards doing an activity he likes at school if he can (e.g.) write 3 sentences in a lesson. Go always on effort rather than says oh its messy writing, If he has attentional issues like our DS - common with dyspraxia - he may need more in class support.

Does he have an iep/goals set?

Facebook has forums just for dyspraxia - very helpful advice there x

KisstheTeapot14 · 23/12/2018 16:44

Are his eyes OK? See behavioural optometrist if you think it may be amiss. Also dyslexia type problems can be looked at by Ed Psych.

Hearing Test?

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