Tell me all your tips to get through the day

[bobbetybob]

Ds 7 just diagnosed with asd. He's in mainstream school communicates well but his understand is much less than you'd think when you talk to him. I also have a preschooler and I work nights. I'm one day into holidays and I'm sick of repeating myself over and over - I know there are good strategies as I've used some but I seem to be useless presently and I really need to get a grip! What are you rbest tips for managing my home loving, demand avoidant, totally hyperactive, occasionally violent but totally amazing boy?? Thank you!

What are the things he/you are struggling with? What are the things you’re having to repeat? What strategies are you currently using - any visuals etc?

It sounds difficult for you at the moment. I expect part of it is that he’s exhausted from the term just gone and needs some time to recharge

I think he is exhausted and I haven't been on the ball. Not enough planned for today and too much downtime. We have a visual calendar and a visual prompt for getting dressed. Lots of set things happening always a bath on the same night, always movie on Saturday- much of this has occured naturally from trying to avoid a meltdown. I've done parenting puzzle and NVR training and try and choose my battles wisely. He does some things that i can see will
Lead to crying/an injury but I can't hold
Is focus to get him to stop and then both of them are laughing/crying and I end up getting cross and shouting which is of no use. I need to be better at this!!

Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. For me not the ds's I mean. And actually ,more seriously one of the things you need to do is take time for yourself so you have the mental resources to deal with the behaviour calmly.

It is so hard when you are tired and they are tired.

With DD if she's tired and not able to follow what I'm asking her to do verbally I end up going non verbal myself to keep things really quiet and calm and then just put things out and point at them (e.g. I'll put her pyjamas out and whatever she says to me I'll just smile and point at them or tap them - or if she's not paying me attention I'll tap her and then tap them... somehow seems to work better than talking when we're all exhausted! Might be worth a try just to mix things up a bit?)

Having said that I need to make our visual prompt for morning and bedtime. I've got all the bits but need to put them on card and cut them out etc. Too much Christmas stuff to deal with to do cutting and sticking on top - aargggh!!! But I know it will help so I need to get on with it...

During the day we just try to be out/active a lot but it sounds like that wouldn't work so well for your DS! Maybe try to schedule the day, even if it's e.g. just drawing, a bit of TV, lunch, snack, making biscuits or something? He could help you plan out the day the day before so he knows what's coming?

Thank you. Have been more on it today starting last night with an outline of our plan for the morning and and lots of now then later. Remembering at each opportunity to now then later for the next thing! So far we've had a good and calm day. Potential for a meltdown was huge but I've been trying to remember to avoid the demand and offer choice and things are better this morning. I think part of the problem is that we will have a 'good' few weeks where he manages without so many of these strategies and then I get slack. Then when is anxiety is high we struggle. I need to keep doing everything all the time I think. Also, chocolate in plentiful supply this week - thanks Christmas