Reception auties 2018/19 - thread 2

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thanks to LightTripper for the thread title. This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of dc with autism in their reception year at school. Please join us if you can or, if you have dc due to start reception in 2019, feel free to drop by and ask us questions.

Thread 1

Ahh, dimples, tapas, wine and a cry sounds just right. Half way there now! Hope the trip is going well otherwise.

I agree that sounds like a really good sports day danni, though when I hear about parents behaving like that it makes me glad that DD's school doesn't invite them! The hand hold sounds lovely.

DD's class each have caterpillars in little pots at school. Not sure exactly what the plan is but DD is very excited.

They will have fun watching them turn into butterflies and (hopefully) setting them free.

A rough drop off today but he settled down after a while apparently. I don’t know for sure but I think it’s the talk about sports day (he was similar when I started prepping him for a previous class event). It’s a tricky balance because I’m trying to get him used to the idea of something ahead of time so he knows what to expect but it seems to set his anxiety off because he, maybe, thinks things are going to be different today. Trying to reassure him that today was just a typical day didn’t seem to help.

It made me feel very bleurgh today and I have not been very productive so far.

The TA told me he had a great OT session yesterday and that she’s really pleased with his progress. I’m looking forward to getting the OT’s feedback.

dimples you’re half way there already. Hang in there.

Hope that you are all okay. I am feeling v grateful to be back home again. DS has coped amazingly well me, not so.much!

Well done dimples, glad ds managed ok.

Ds is going back to school today after what feels like 3 weeks of house arrest for me. Hoping he won't be too hard on his TA.

Me and DH have a couple of crazy weeks coming up where we are away for a week each. Hoping it's not going to be too disruptive for the kids.

Hope everyone else is ok.

dimples great that ds managed ok and that you are back in the fold. Hope you’re having a lovely weekend.

liv I’m glad that you are finally out of quarantine. Hopefully no more CP in your house! I hope the first day back went ok.

Ds’s class practiced for sports day on Friday with year 6 and apparently he had a great time. They do lots of different activities, not much traditional stuff, I suppose so it’s less competitive. Ds will be in a team with his favourite year 6 boy so hopefully it will go well despite parents being there. His teacher is mostly worried about the transitions with me being there given we had a tricky morning last week.

I went into the class on Friday afternoon to look at his learning journey books, so lovely to see everything he’s been up to. I think next year they move to Tapestry so I feel lucky we’ll get these hard copy books this year. I’m not sure how much this continues past the reception year though? It’s an awful lot of work for the teachers pulling them together, no question.

I hope everyone has a great FD. We are out this morning and will then visit my dsd later.

We had a pretty good learning day yesterday too. I dropped the ball for the best part of a week but yesterday he wrote his name in grandad’s FD card, looked at 4 cvc flash cards, played a (modified) game of Dobble and did 4 rounds of Match and spell. I think that’s a record in this house.

Hi TA said he’s doing so well with the push scissors that they’ve going to start him on proper scissors. I must get a decent child’s pair here (we’ve only got plastic crayola ones or the push scissors). I haven’t had the OT’s feedback from this week’s session yet.

Open pleased to hear ds did some home learning with you, ds has been awfully naughty this weekend so I've only had the energy to breathe. I'm currently counting down the milliseconds until his bedtime.

Ds cant use scissors at all not even the push ones he really struggles, he's left handed, is yours? He can't colour in or anything either.

Ds wrote his name in a fathers day card, it was recognisable and he's wrote it similar to how the cards looked at Xmas from the kids in his class I'm such a saddo I've got them out to compare, he couldn't write it for dh birthday in March or in my card for Mother's Day etc. He needs me to be like write this letter here next to my finger and now this letter here otherwise they end up all over the page and not in a straight line, but I'm surprised how well he wrote it this week.

He's reading level 1 (pink band) books now too from that Julia Donaldson set I bought, he read a level 2 red band book last night with no issue but then I tried another red band and he couldn't really read it, bizarre how they are the same level but one is much more difficult than the other.

Last saturday night he was blending the words as he's been doing for ages then Sunday night he read the page and he's just carried it on since, I try get him to read 1 book morning & 1 book at bedtime which is much easier said than done! He doesn't understand what he's reading though as if I ask him questions afterwards he can't answer so will have to work on his reading comprehension.

School haven't changed his reading books in his book bag since first week of March or stamped his reading diary that I religiously sign every week. So good job I buy sets myself! He's had the same set of books on his online book scheme thing for at least 2 months too. It's annoying as hell! Not acceptable really is it bcos they don't do that with the other children - I know this bcos I asked one of the mums I know at that school party and she said her ds books get changed all the time - he's in the same class as ds. grrrrr!

Hit an all time low with ds and his car seat he's climbed out 3 times while I've been driving today and one time jumped in the front as his dad had to sit in the back with him and couldn't wrestle him back in that time, it's so ridiculously dangerous, he jumped in the front ragging on my gear stick and handbrake trying to climb on me while I'm driving, had to pull straight over and wrestle him back again and then he just does it again, he did it last week while my mum was in the car and it's the first time I've seen my mum speechless! After today's shit I stood at the side of my car crying and ended up arguing with dh roadside bcos he's just fucking useless and doesn't have a clue how to help.

I don't know what to do. He's already in a SN car lock type thing. We've had a couple of different things already. He could even get out of a 5 point harness ffs.

We don't have £500 spare for the specialist car seat he needs (although would have to rob a bank if needed) but tbh he'd find a way out of it I'm almost sure.

Other than locking him in the boot what can I do......

that sounds like such a tempting idea though!

Sounds like ds did really well at the sports day practice open. Also brilliant learning!
Our school uses tapestry and the scrap books. Not sure if they carry on the scrap books in year 1 though.

Ds had a good first day back and picking him up in the buggy made a massive difference. Really nice not to have to rugby tackle him in the playground. We did get some stares from the other parents and kids but I think that's more a problem for me than ds.
He was pretty hitty and kicky when we got home though.

Danni that's amazing about the handwriting and reading. Sorry they are being rubbish about swapping the books.
Ds is also a lefty. He can still sometimes be ambidextrous too.
The car thing is a nightmare. Thankfully ds has calmed down a bit now. We use a crelling harness with his high backed booster, the seatbelt and a seatbelt guard over the plug. I really feel for you as ds used to do all the things you've described.

Liv that's exactly what I said to dh earlier, to get a crelling harness to go with his seatbelt and his little lock we already use over the plug.

What I've done is taken him out side to the car moved his seat behind mine, it was the other side, saying ds do you want to sit behind mummy, only big boys sit behind their mummy's etc oh wow look how good you are you can have a chewing gum for sitting so well etc then I drove around the block and he stayed put, so fingers crossed I've bought a few days at least, I can't walk him it's impossible!

What crelling model did you get? There are so many and I'm not sure what we need, he's also in a high back booster. Can your ds not escape now?

How stressful hey. X

danni hopefully the crelling harness will help. I’ve no idea about it really but is a car seat something that the Family Fund can help with? I do see people mention it on these boards. Ds has been through phases of climbing out too. It’s so scary. Thankfully it passes again.

Amazing your ds just started reading, it sounded like he was almost there. Great about the writing too. Honestly I think ds’s writing is worse than when he started school. He’s doing more letters but the formation is still not good. The OT says he needs to build up the strength in his fingers. He does no colouring or crafts at home, he has zero interest. He rarely even uses the stickers in his magazines. He’s a lefty too (as am I) but sometimes he still uses his right hand. I do some things with my right hand (cut, sew, iron) but I only write with my left.

liv glad first day back was ok and that the buggy helped. I hope the behaviour afterwards didn’t last long.

Danni we got model 28 with a steel buckle (When I bought it, it was about £128.00) Ds refuses to have the shoulder straps on, we tried at first but he was so upset by them we didn't bother in the end. We also gave up on the Houdini strap attachment cause it stressed him out too much.
I do the bits that go over his legs pretty tight, he really tried to get out of it initially and couldn't and eventually gave up trying. Now he enjoys having it on, I think he likes the pressure.
The buckle is really hard to undo and requires quite a lot of finger strength (you need to keep a safety blade in the car so they can be cut out if there's an accident!)

Thanks open.

Case in point. I’ve just got him to do his homework. Draw 3 pictures of mini beasts and copy the names I’ve written. Nothing looks like anything and he couldn’t have been less interested!

But he did it which I suppose is half the battle.

Great that he tried open. We often don't manage to do homework. Ds loves doing arty things. He particularly loves sewing. Getting him to practice sounds is almost impossible though.

Does your ds play with Lego, that's pretty good for finger strength?

Liv is it easy to fit? I've only got a small car (Corsa) I've just looked on the crelling website and I'm struggling to see how I'd get it to go round the back of the seat (sorry if I sound thick) it also says fits 'some' high backed boosters. He's got a graco endure so not sure if it would fit that?

I'll probably give them a ring tomorrow when I've dropped ds at school and I've got time too as don't want to purchase if I can't get it to fit. X

Liv he plays with Lego that’s already built, he doesn’t often do his own. He’s got a couple of Lego Juniors Cars sets that he can do. I’ll have to break them down and get him to make them again (and again). He does actually like taking the cars apart and rebuilding them but he hasn’t for a while. Cars isn’t flavour of the month at the moment, Toy Story is.

Open I got ds to do some 'handwriting' on his whiteboard before his bath and he drew all over himself and the table and barely touched the whiteboard he's drawn a big zig zag on my kitchen lino and I can't get it off! It's a dry wipe marker pen thing not permanent marker so should of come off really!

Ds cant form many letters only really the letters of his name, he can only draw a spider and that's it picture wise, he's also not interested in doing anything educational it's such a bloody battle getting him involved, he either wants to play with his planes, throw them at the wall, run up and down my room pretending to dry his hands on imaginary handryers (that in real life he's shit scared of) eat chocolate or trash my house and give me a nervous breakdown!

learning anything is not high priority for him. Lol x

I’ve booked tickets for us to see Toy Story 4 at an autism friendly screening. It will be ds’s first trip to the cinema, hopefully he’ll like it.

Oh no danni. Magic eraser?

Is he asleep yet?

Open yes Ds loves the repetitive building of lego. He's the opposite though he loves taking it apart and then getting game to rebuild it.
I really hope he enjoys the cinema! I've been wanting to take ds for ages but I reckon the first time would have to be a film he already knows.
We went through a massive toy story phase a couple of years ago. Ds had a buzz light year toy that went everywhere!!

Danni. I just looked your car seat up online and I reckon it would fit with it. It basically just acts as another 5 point harness. So the shoulder straps fit in the grooves under the headrest and the leg straps come in the grooves where the seatbelt fits.
It's really easy to fit you lace the straps over the back of the seat and then on our car there is a gap under the seat which you pass the straps through and they link up round the back of the chair in the boot. Really hard to explain in writing but I think it only took me about 10mins to set it up.

Hope that you manage to sort out the car seat Danni.

It was DS's birthday on Friday and party yesterday. The party went really well - although it was big party (almost 30 kids) it was quite calm. Not only did DS cope really well but his ASD cousins really enjoyed it and liked being 'helpers'. Cannot tell you how relieved I felt last night.

One problem is that DS has received a crazy amount of presents (it's also apparent that I spend a lot less on children's birthday presents than the rest of the parents in the class ). I feel that I need to declutter and simplify things but now have a toy mountain.

Glad the party went well dimples!! What a relief. We got a toy mountain too. All the craft type stuff is in a cupboard for use over the summer holidays! Quite lucky for this time of year birthdays...

On scissors, DD never took to the push ones and having tried quite a few standard pairs these are the ones we get on best with. Just the right size, super simple, feel nice (I even use them), might be worth a try if the push ones aren't working out. I think standard scissors are actually more intuitive than the push ones. STAEDTLER Small Right Handed... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000OZI0J4?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Slightly hard weekend here but highs as well as lows. Saturday had the kids by myself and took them out to meet my cousin's wife/DD at a museum. Had a fun day but intense keeping tabs on both of them and DD had been holding her poo since Wednesday and it just hit crescendo on Saturday (finally came out Saturday night with huge drama and then this morning just took herself off and did a tonne more with no fuss at all.... Go figure!) Anyway, it totally wiped her out poor thing. Got a lie in until nearly 8 this morning, unheard of!!

Today was quite nice. Did OH breakfast in bed and then went to see the Paw Patrol movie which both kids ignored (though DD hates the Dolby advert.... Must remember to bring ear defenders for that bit next time, it's so loud and visually intense too!) But quite rigid after that and a few arguments etc. Hi hum. She's been poorly and she's tired. It feels like end of term behaviour but we've still got weeks to go, which scares me a bit!!

Anyway, hope everyone else had good weekends and Dads had a good day.

And yes, Danni I'd be annoyed about the reading! If they're not going to do it that should be discussed with you first, not just leaving DS out with no comment or plan for how they will help him learn!

dimples glad the party went well and that all the children enjoyed it. Ds’s birthday is very close to Christmas so we get all the toys within a few weeks. It must be nice to have it spread throughout the year.

Light glad your weekend had lots of good moments and that you got a nice, lengthy lie in. Hopefully dd will relax a bit in the coming weeks rather than get more tired.

Ds went to school without issue this morning. I was expecting it to be difficult as he’s been a bit grumpy and shouty but it was fine. Hopefully the change of scene at school and the fact that the sun is out will make for a good day and he won’t be grumping at his TA’s too.

I meant to say they adored the movie, not ignored!! That really wouldn't have been such a good day .

Glad Ds went in with no problems today open - hopefully the start of a good run!

Not happy, at all.

Picked ds up at 11.45 took him home for his lunch as I have to do every day, load of shit!

took ds back to school 12.45, no one there to collect him from me, i think ok maybe there at the toilet or something,12.50 no one there, so now I'm thinking ok 5 mins late whatever, ds is getting more pissed off by the minute waiting for his 1-1 to collect him and starts kicking the door and smacking the wall etc. 12.55 still no one there? I'm just stood in the office waiting.

Office staff sees us, says has no one come for him yet? I say no! I was getting annoyed at this point as ds was really pissed off shouting etc and I just can't understand this school how much they take the piss out of me.

Office staff waits 2 more minutes still no one here so she takes him from me and goes for a walk about to find his TA hand in hand with ds (she knows he has 1-1 and wouldn't leave him alone we see her every day) So I leave after she took ds, walk down the path and see the office staff and ds outside in the small playground walking around trying to find someone to take ds off her.

Are you serious???? 15 minutes after someone was due to collect him from me. I still don't know if anyone collected him I can't get through to the school I've just tried to phone.