Reception auties 2018/19 - thread 2

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thanks to LightTripper for the thread title. This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of dc with autism in their reception year at school. Please join us if you can or, if you have dc due to start reception in 2019, feel free to drop by and ask us questions.

Thread 1

I’m still reading Raising human beings. It’s definitely a book for older dc though useful from a start-as-you-mean-to-go-on perspective. Ds is definitely too young to use this approach meaningfully at the moment.

Open

I have the same attitude, if I hear the birds before ds then we've had a good night!!

How is everyone doing? We made it back from our holiday without the massive meltdown we had trying to leave the holiday house in the summer. That was a massive relief.

We had a good time but it’s nice to be home and not have to worry about leaving ds alone in rooms in someone else’s house. He’s not destructive but is often clumsy and these holiday houses always have plenty of knick knacks and stuff lying about. Nice to be back in our bed too, the mattress was very hard there.

Ds is back at school Wednesday. We will be visiting a few different family members this weekend so nothing too taxing.

We're with the in-laws. Ds seems a bit more settled today after a very manic day yesterday. He smashed a stone birdbath and generally caused havoc. Thankfully PIL are very relaxed about it all!

It's nice to be out of London for a few days. Got to head back home on Monday as Ds starts back at school on Tuesday.

Hope your children aren't suffering too much light.

Hi, hope everyone is enjoying the sun. & have had nice breaks away.

We are going to the beach shortly. We only live a 5 minute drive which is handy. But the mood ds is in I'm not sure why I'm even bothering.

I walked ds to the shop this morning and the library and he was being shall we say difficult, although there's possibly a few other descriptions I could use

on the way home he kicked a load of slate from someone's drive way and it all hit a really expensive car! It hasn't done any damage! but I told him off obviously which doesn't make the blindest bit of difference then I couldn't get him home as he was laid down laughing on the floor at me telling him off as my cross face and voice is clearly hilarious so i had to carry him upside down to our front door with him acting as if I was trying to murder him, ridiculous!

Neighbours all out on the front staring at the performance (with there oh so perfect little children)

Toilet training has been going well which is something at least! He was completely dry yesterday & so far today, although he's zipped in his trampoline now and I'm not even attempting to ask him if he needs a wee while he's quiet so that could change any minute

Xx

Liv the havoc causing is stressful isn't it! You have my complete sympathy**

It is more stressful being in other people's houses. I've found it particularly tricky with playdates at school friends' houses. I think I appear overly anxious but my DS whilst not intentionally destructive often leaves a trail of devastation behind him - he is clumsy, curious and does not understand the consequences of his actions.

Danni hope that you had a good time at the beach.

Hi everyone

Glad to hear toilet training is continuing Dani, my dad doesn't have a 1:1, but his school were on board once we started and changed him as required. It is not ok for them to stop his development because they can't be bothered to deal with it. Speak to the SENCO if there is a problem.

Dimples glad you survived the zoo trip.

Light that is unlucky about the chickenpox. We had six weeks of it in my house a couple of years ago. I survived by sticking them in an oats bath for most of the day with new bath toys, they were wrinkly but not itchy.

Openupmyeyes sounds like a success. We have only ever gone on holiday to stay with family and I still find I wish I could have another holiday just to recover from the holiday.

Lovely weather here. I am not on holiday yet, but the kids are and they are in fine spirits. We have had several injuries, DH thought dd2 might have broken something yesterday evening whilst I was at work, she has a cracking bruise but is putting weight on her leg so crisis averted.

DS went to drum therapy with his sister's this week and had a great time, they were all jammin together. It has had a great impact on his auditory sensitivity and coordination. He managed with the hoover on in the same room yesterday.

Wow, drum therapy sounds good!! DD's school had a drum workshop but she sat it out... With the sound and new people and social aspect it was just too much I think.

We seem to be (touch wood) nearly over the pox. Still not convinced DS had it, so he may get sick next week, but if his 3 spots were pox we got off incredibly lightly! The only downside was we missed out on visiting Grandparents. We were also incredibly lucky it was picnic weather so we were able to leave the house without risking passing it about too widely! We were soooooo glad we grabbed the ball and kite on our way out of the door as an afterthought.... Lifesavers!

I think we might risk people again tomorrow but tempted to keep it local and low key!

Hope everyone had a good weekend and has a great BH Monday.

Today was not fun! DS has slapped me and spat at me. He also managed to cover half my Mum's kitchen with suncream. I'm exhausted. Hoping that tomorrow is better ...

That sounds like hard work dimples!

Are any of your dc' working at the 40-60 months eyfs or early learning goals yet?

liv your PIL’s are awesome. Was it their tv he broke? I hope he’s settled down a bit more for you.

danni I hope the beach went well and that potty training is progressing. I’m not sure where ds is on the EYFS at the moment but I imagine it’s quite spiky. I might take a look when I have some time.

123bananas drum therapy sounds good. I’m glad your dd didn’t break anything!

Light glad your dc are getting over chicken pox. Just in time for school!

dimples sorry you’ve had a rubbish day. Do you know why he was acting out? I hope tomorrow is better for you.

We’ve had a decent weekend though as ds is not remotely interested in chocolate Easter is not quite the hit here it might be elsewhere. I’m feeling guilty we didn’t do an egg hunt though. I might have to do one tomorrow once we’re back from the IL’s.

Ds’s behaviour seems to have settled down a bit. He’s less defiant though we’re still getting the occasional ‘I won’t’. Today he even slept until 5:50 which was great. He keeps falling asleep in the car though which is a pain.

Light ds hasn't had chicken pox yet even when his nursery had half the class off and a few of the children he was in with later came out with them he still didn't catch them. He's had hand foot and mouth twice though. Enjoy your day out tomorrow.

Open how's ds' sleep been?

Liv safe travels back tomorrow, hope ds hasnt smashed anything else since your last post

123bananas my ds is accident prone, he's always doing something or got a new scrape or bruise, he had to visit a&e twice in 3 weeks recently with head injuries, the last one was a shocker of a gash on his head! I expect a knock from social services quite often he actually comes to me now and says mummy get the arnica, meaning if I haven't seen the incident i know ones taken place. We go through shit loads of arnica gel! that's nice your ds enjoyed the drumming session.

Dimples hope ds is asleep. X

I printed all the eyfs profile sheets out last year and go through them and highlight the statements as & when he's meeting them and ds is quite literally all over the place..... which is common with asd I know,

he's just starting to mark a little off on the 40-60 months (a few of the maths statements and a bit of literacy and physical development. The 40-60 months I've only been able to start highlighting in the last couple of months or so.) but he's mainly working in 30-50 months which is were I expect him to stay for a while as some of the things they expect between 2.5 - 4yr is ridiculous. Some statements he's still at 22-36 months, so he's straddling 3 age groups with his spikey profile.

Open this is were I find twinkl really useful to help me plan how to meet the next statements. I've printed off a load more twinkl worksheets yesterday that was what my disastrous trip to the library was about all I need now is ds to actually participate

Open just read your post. Ds has had belly ache & a bit of diarrhoea this morning.. (he had the same thing last week for a day too bizarrely) so we've had an accident in that area today, understandably, at that sodding park, I'm not sure what it is with that park and pooh! but other than that he's been doing fab with wees, I put his bedtime nappy on and he laid down and after half hour he said he needed a wee but he'd been pissing about not going to sleep so I thought it was an excuse to get out of bed again so I took him through and he pulled his pants and pull up down and actually did a wee and he'd asked !!

I do think it's slowly starting to sink in this time.

Glad your ds seems calmer. X

danni you’re so proactive, I need to take a leaf out of your book. I have a file of all ds’s eyfs sheets as we used them for his EHCP application a year ago. I will get them out and review this week. He’s just so resistant to doing much of anything at home. Yesterday I was trying to get him to draw a picture for his GP’s as we are visiting today but he just refused. As a child I loved drawing and writing, making little books and loads of reading but ds has other ideas at the moment!

Sleeping is improved the last few days. On holiday he averaged about 5am though was awake at 4 the last day. This morning he semi woke at 4:40 and I popped in to him then he went back to sleep until 6, very unusual for him. I didn’t go back to sleep but neither did I have to get up (my turn) so it was still a win.

It sounds like toilet training is going brilliantly, well done to you both. It took my ds about 2 months to crack poos in the potty.

Open we might get lucky and have really lazy teenagers who stay in bed until tea time. We can live in hope hey!!

Good luck to everyone back to school today.

Hope things are calming down dimples and liv... maybe school routine will help?

Toilet stuff sounds really good danni! I think once they can tell you then it's just a matter of time and patience while they learn to tune in to their bodies more regularly.

Managed to leave without a "hug button" today. I'm never sure to what extent to try to "shift" these little reassuring habits as they do no harm, but our school drop off routine was getting quite complicated so if we can manage to drop the hug button or save it for special occasions/tricky days I think that's good (still do high up hug, low down hug, normal hug and silly wave, so hopefully that's enough :)) She's got a couple more days at home (teacher training), then back to school on Thursday.

I've just realised that DD has two school trips in the next couple of weeks, plus I'm going away for a long weekend, so lots of change to handle... hopefully being recharged by the holidays will be a good start .... feeling guilty about the trip already but I think I'm going to push through. It was so amazing last year (weekend in France with female friends from University - so relaxing and a mix of Mums and non-Mums so can talk about Mum stuff but not all the time, which is healthy!) I am both dreading it and can't wait. Hopefully PIL are coming so OH will have some company...

Meanwhile what promises to be a semi-stressful week at work beckons :(

Hope everyone else has a good day, and manages to get a bit of final sunshine to enjoy if you're still off.

Sounds as though the Easter holidays have been kind to everyone! Thank you for the hello's, all. I wish I had more to contribute but am finding my feet with everything and still feel like a Learner. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a drop-off ritual to follow. Does anyone else struggle with pick up? My DD has a verbal countdown at school but the change to going home time can still take up to half an hour and be full of tears and worry. Drop off can be equally long. I'm starting a volunteer trial tomorrow where I have to be at work for 09:30 and I'm seriously worried that I may be late if I can't get a smooth drop off going. How do others cope with getting to work on time? Are your employers understanding? I work self employed too and fit it in around school hours and evenings so this is a new try out at a structured job. Eek!

Light the weekend away sounds like the perfect tonic - but I understand that it's also stressful.

DS was clearly very anxious yesterday - he wet himself twice within half an hour of arriving at school. By the time I collected him from my Mum's he was totally out of sync - that's normally our worst transition. He gets super excited when I arrive but then refuses to leave. I normally end up carrying him out of the house - clearly not a brilliant strategy, don't know what I'll do when he is bigger. Hope others return to school was easier.

Two rather stressful days now - I'm going to support my sister at a mediation meeting re the Council's refusal to assess my nephew for an EHCP and tomorrow it's DS's EHCP annual review. I was wondering do any of you get a personal budget under EHCP. OT support has not been properly provided under current plan and I feel that my son needs so much help within their domain: sensory diet, toileting, hand writing, self care, motor skills etc.

Furrycat I use food at pick up to help keep my son calm.

Open PILS are really amazing, yep the TV was smashed at Christmas too! Hope your ds is sleeping ok at the moment.

Light I know how you are feeling, I went away a couple of weeks ago with some friends and was seriously worried about leaving the kids. It was completely amazing and I came back really rested! Hopefully you trip will do the same!

Furrycat pick ups are a nightmare for us, ds runs around the playground trying to lick and climb everything! I've started showing him videos on my phone to get him out of the gate. I used to be able to pick him up like dimples, but that's getting to not be an option anymore.
I'm currently not working as I can't fit everything in around pick ups. Occasionally I do freelance work but it can be very stressful managing the children too.

I'm sorry your ds had a stressful day yesterday dimples. Hopefully he'll settle back in soon. Good luck with all your meetings.
We don't get a personal budget. We nearly did it when we first got the plan but the LA then tried to reduce DS's funding (by £6000!!) so we didn't push it.

Ds was ok at school yesterday. He did slap his 1:1 once, but she said she's just out of practice blocking him! (I'm not sure where the school found such an amazing person to work with ds).
Dh has to be in work early today so I'm doing all the drop off and pick ups urgh!

Light how did drop off go today? Did you manage to leave without the hug button? Your weekend away sounds lovely, I hope you can enjoy it guilt free. I’ve been away overnight only. I find it nice to get away but I miss ds and so look forward to seeing him again.

Furry our pick ups are fine thankfully, as you may know we have had periods where drop off has been problematic. I’m not working so do not have work to worry about during those times. I do wonder how on earth I’d have coped otherwise.

dimples how did the annual review go? Did you raise the toileting issue? I hope the mediation goes well. We don’t get a personal budget, we didn’t ask for one though.

liv I hope ds has been more settled. My ds hit his TA yesterday too when he got upset and had a bit of a tantrum. Today he was ok thankfully. He’s had 3.5 weeks off and has returned to a new teacher so we expected him to be a bit unsettled.

Today we had a meeting with the specialist teacher, the TA and his new class teacher. It was lovely to hear positive feedback on him.

I asked about his refusal to practice phonics and writing at home and whether there were any strategies we could use to encourage him. Both the teacher and specialist teacher said it wasn’t that important at the moment and that it was more important to continue to read to him and talk to him. The teacher said it was obvious that we did those things, that his vocabulary was good and that he could tell and re-tell stories and all that good stuff which is also very important.

The teacher said that the EYFS curriculum has about 16 buckets and that they can only work on filling a few at a time. She said that generally they all fill up but that the time it takes is variable. It was a good analogy I thought. She also said that ds is better in some areas than other children. That there were children that have started to read and write but that their understanding and vocabulary is not as good because they are not read to or spoken to enough. It made me wonder who those children are and feel very sorry for them. The school has a competition going to encourage the children to read at least four times a week, this is to be written in their reading diary. Some weeks ds’s class only had 50% of the children achieving this.

Thanks open. The review went really well - I felt that we were working as a team. There were no nasty surprises! Never thought that I'd read a SALT report which states that 'DS is very popular with peers' and 'used good expressive language'.

Still feeling nervous about year one, apparently DS's maximum period of concentration is 3 minutes....

Mediation was to my mind two hours of wasted time. We (family and SENCO) all felt v cross afterwards. Appeals are in for both my nephews but I'd bet that my sister will have the same experience as me - on the last day that they could submit evidence the LA agreed to assess.

Liv hope that the pick ups and drop offs were better than expected.

Open I signed up for what I thought was guidance at school.on how to help your child to read but it turned out that it was all about how to read to your child - problem was that all the parents who had signed up were ones that did a lot of reading already.

dimples that’s excellent feedback, how lovely for you. I’m glad you feel everyone is working together well.

Shame about your sister’s meeting. Hopefully they will agree to assess as you say though the lost time is ridiculous and avoidable. If that’s what happened would there still be time to get the EHCP’s done by the next academic year?

I’m nervous about year 1 too, though I’m trying to tell myself that this year has been much better than I feared. The reception teacher is happy for him to use the reception garden if he needs movement breaks which is great.

Perhaps because our dc’s curriculum will need to be individualised the impact of the move to year 1 will not be as great for them? It may be a softer and slightly longer path to the more structured learning they will be doing by the end of it.