Walked out in tears after speech therapy group

[Summ3ers]

My son is coming up for 3 and has delayed speech. He has just started speech therapy classes with a group of other children but he is really struggling. He wants to run about and be active and just can’t sit on a chair and listen for more than about 5 mins. He doesn’t have much of an attention span. His last session was such a disaster as he just wanted to run about and play, I just walked out in tears. I don’t know if there’s other issues going on or whether he is just a lively toddler who learns by moving about more than sitting. It’s taken a year to get this support but as he was quite disruptive with his running around and crying, I feel embarrassed to go back. Each session is half an hour. Thank you.

Please don't feel embarrassed! The speech and Language therapists will have seen it before and worse!

We did some group sessions with my ds at that age and he found them massively stressful. In fact he was either running about, having a meltdown, or headbanging on the floor.

I did learn some some useful techniques and it also sped up and supported our path to diagnosis so it was worth it in the end.

I’m sure the speech therapist are used to it. I struggled to get my son to sit down one lady was very good another said ‘if you could just get him to sit down’ yep like that I’ll work a three year old with issues in a room full of toys!!!!
We didn’t attend all 6 in the end it was to stress for him and me

Meant to be stressful

Is the session all supposed to be him sitting in a chair? At that age I would expect it to be more play based, it’s too much to expect a 2/3 year old to sit still and focus for very long.

Please don’t be upset. As liv said they will have seen it all before (especially if that’s their approach). It could be used as evidence, should you need any, later down the line, and you should learn some useful techniques.

Thank you for your responses. I did find it stressful. I worry that I can’t help to improve his speech if I can’t get him to focus. He literally wants to explore the room or run around and giggle. I think if it was 1:1 it wouldn’t feel so bad but I just felt like everyone else was looking at me trying to control a toddler who just didn’t want to sit still. I’ve found toddler groups really hard in the past as circle time is impossible for him.

Openupmyeagereyes (fantastic name btw) yes, sitting on a chair and then maybe taking something out of a bag or passing a toy to another child but pretty much all chair based.

That's completely normal behaviour for his age! Please persevere, he will settle down soon.

Speech and language therapists have seen it all, and behaviour is also a good indicator of what is going on with a child, so they will be taking note and it may lead to more help. So please do go back. Also each time you go will feel more familiar to your son, so he may engage more over time.

No one is judging you. I've always thought to try and face professionals with the attitude that they want what is best for my child, and that they appreciate the challenges that come with delayed sppech, emotional development etc.

I've just declined group speech therapy for my DS (nearly 3) as he would do exactly this. He has ASD and cannot cope with group situations.

I told the speech therapist that it was totally pointless for us as he'd get nothing out of it and disrupt the other kids. She agreed to see him again in a 1:1 setting. Is this something you can ask for? Group therapy really doesn't work for everyone and if your DS isn't responding well to it then ask them to work with you to find other options.

Hand hold and as I'm more than aware what it's like to be the mother of the child who has to leave early.

You don’t say how verbal/non verbal he is but assuming he does have speech you absolutely can improve it. Attention and speech/language are not the same thing. He will learn based on what’s he’s doing and how he’s interacted with throughout his whole week, not purely through a weekly 30 minute SALT group. Use play, everyday tasks and things that he is interested in to build language and vocabulary. Model language for him at a level that is achievable for him. Play turn taking games. Create ‘sabotage’ experiences for him. Don’t ask him so many questions but narrate what he is doing while playing - the rule of thumb is 4 statements to every question asked.

There are resources on YouTube you can check out such as Walkie Talkie speech therapy to give you ideas.

Dd2 has had speech therapy since she was 9 months old due to a cleft she's just over 2 now and finally starting the proper ones the ones leading up to this have been mostly getting them to sit still and pay attention

Try playing games at home that make him pay attention but not too long so building towers going up and down a block at a time, bubble popping are both examples given by our therapist

Any good speech therapist will have seen it all before (not counting the shit-tacular NHS one we saw who would use a child blinking as an indication they'd had enough for the day and an excuse to stop a session after 10 seconds) - the one who works with DD2 has done sessions while DD2 decided she wanted to do the entire thing hanging upside down off the edge of the sofa in the past and done so without batting an eyelid at this!

My dd spent multiple sessions where she walked to the Wendy house in the corner and screamed shrilly with her hands over her ears if approached. She hit someone who tried to open the door... does that make you feel better 😉

On a side note my youngest at 3 would not behave in that group, and she had no speech issues. She’s just wilful, I inquisitive and very active

Thank you all for your replies. It’s really helped. What a fool to get upset. Sometimes ‘those’ looks I get from others just gets a bit too much. Xx

It’s not foolish to get upset about it. It’s difficult when your child is the one acting differently - I’ve been there, mine didn’t like groups or circle time either once he was mobile. He’s still very young and he will develop.

I know those looks, whilst it’s not silly to get upset you do get far more robust. I find myself thinking ‘this is a stupid/ low quality session’ nowadays and just leave, as opposed to being embarrassed. I’ve found good friends for me and my children and we fit with our tribe

Thank you. I love the idea of ‘fitting with our tribe.’ How did you go about this? I find toddler groups a nightmare and my little man’s on a totally different timeline to his same age friends. Feeling very tearful this morning as also just found out our last IVF attempt has failed. Xxx

I’m very sorry to hear that

I found activities where it was expected that my boys move around all the time, eg soft play, toddler gym sessions, we swam 2/3 times a week. We went to a lot of parks to run/ scoot/ feed ducks/play. These days there are loads of Forest School type sessions which my boys would have loved. In fact I chose my boys primary school as they had Forest school and swimming each week from age 3-9. X