Autism/Sensory

[smurphy18]

I have a 5year old son who is refusing to wear clothes, just wants pyjamas on all the time. He wears his school uniform, well trousers, shirt and a tie, refuses jumper and tank top! The minute he's home from school the pyjamas are straight on, even on the weekends won't put clothes on! He doesn't go for baths or showers very often, be lucky if it's once a week, doesn't like his hair washed, brushed or cut either. His tantrums/meltdowns are awful, his eating isn't that great either. He was a non talker up til last year and even now he doesn't speak that much to family members or outsiders, even his friends at school he shys away. He is very much a mummys boy and has always been clingy to me. He sees his paedtrician in middle of december but I'm looking for advice in the mean time as this doctor seems to think my son is somewhere on the spectrum and wanted to put him forward for cdat but the speech therapist said 6months ago that he was just a relctuant talker....please help me.

Does it matter if he wears pyjamas at home? Maybe you could find clothes that are like his pyjamas, do you know what it is that make him want to wear them? Softeness, colour, fit?

My ds has worn the same outfit for 2 years and we just let him get on with it. Luckily his school also let him not wear uniform as it would be too much.

Have you spoken to the school SENCO? That's probably a good place to start. I would also see if you can get a referral to an OT. It's been pretty life changing for my ds. I always recommend it but have you read 'the out of synch child'? It's got checklists so that you can see if it you think your ds has sensory processing issues.

In the meantime you could use an ABC chart to track his behaviour. That way you can try and avoid things that might trigger a meltdown.

Do you use any visual prompts with him? That might help him to feel more organised and take away some anxiety.

No it doesn't matter about pyjamas at home that doesn't bother me, it's when we are out and about on the weekends ie, soft play, food shopping, in town, out for meals etc, my mum has cancelled a few times cause she doesn't agree that my son should be allowed to wear his pyjamas out and about like I let him....I don't have any other option at the moment.
i should have added that we were referred to OT previously, and I felt it was a waste of time got given handouts and no follow up appointment! The paedtrician and own go seem to think he's on the spectrum yet speech therapy who have been involved with him since around he was 6month old put it down to a reluctant talker.
we have also seen child psychologist for behaviours and she seemed to think there was traits of autism but since it's speech therapy that do the cdat assessment we are getting no where with appropriate help. Yes we are given help to certain degree but it's not really beneficial.
I haven't read 'the out of sync child' I'll have a look at that and see. We do have visual supports for him already, they do help, however he still refuses clothes and that's with a sticker chart too, even a little bribery lol.
I just worry that my younger son will start to copy him as he tends to copy with the tantrums and meltdowns. Think it's learnt behaviour.

Will he wear jogging bottoms? They are very like pyjamas.

My son was diagnosed with atypical autism through the paediatrician. They used the 3di assessment and although he saw a SALT it was not them doing the assessment. Have you considered ‘skins’ he could wear under his clothes, or special soft clothes - I think marks and Spencer’s was doing some, or looking into social stories.

Many of the children I work with refuse any clothes so at least pyjamas are something!

That's really unhelpful of your mum! I would do whatever it takes to reduce anxiety possibility of meltdown and if that meant wearing pyjamas the whole time so be it.

That's very frustrating about speech and Language, I'm not sure what to suggest. I imagine if you got a private report they might ignore that too? seeing as you already have the backing of other professionals. Could you request to see a different therapist?

Did you a sensory intergration OT? Regular OTs don't tend to be able to help with sensory issues, more motor skills.

I really feel for how frustrating this must be for you.

Ds often goes out wearing his dressing gown.

The only trousers he will wear are school trousers so he wears them with a polo shirt (blue, very similar to his school one)

I have learnt to pick my battles. As long as he is appropriately covered I don’t care what with!

I know my mum says she doesn't know how to be around him cause she doesn't agree and doesn't know how to handle it, I've asked her if she wants to come to next paedtrician appointment with us but she will be working and doesn't know if will get the time off yet.
He's my first child and all this is new to me, I have never been around a child who has issues like my son so I'm learning as we go along too and for the time being I'm letting him wear his pyjamas out and about cause it really isn't worth the upset, stress and anxiety it causes my son when try to get clothes on him!

He's back on the list for speech therapy and he will be seeing a different one this time round, they only work in blocks of 12 weeks here so after each block have to go back on waiting list....Its frustrating but it is what it is.

I didn't realise there was different OTs, I will ask about a sensory integration OT cause I'm sure we have seen just an normal OT for motor skills.

We have tried jogging bottoms on him but point blank refuses aswell, I have even took him shopping to pick out clothes thinking that would help in the shops he seemed ok ish but the minute home he stated didn't like them, not wearing them, was keeping pyjamas on. we have always had issues around clothing, could never get him to wear shorts in he summer and when he finally did he wouldn't wear jeans trousers etc in the winter now this year it's pyjamas. He won't even wear a jacket or coat, even a dressing gown he refuses!

This is a pretty good explanation of sensory issues, definitely ask to see a Sensory OT.

www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?v=201507131117

Thanks for the link. I will definitely ask to see a sensory OT. Hopefully get some help and advice that is much needed.

My son has an ASD diagnoses and will wear school uniform if it is 100% cotton and the labels are cut out. At home he mainly wears 100% cotton boxers from Gap, no elastic touching his skin, and when we go out he wears Boden cotton baggies and a long sleeved cotton top. They look and feel just like pjs. He would never consider zips, jeans etc. We also have the issue that if it get set it comes of straight away so even at eight we carry spare clothes! Even a wet cuff would result in him walking around with no top on. As for your mum, I have had lots of problems but they just do not get it. My advise would be if you are not upset and your son is not upset just to go with it!

Thanks for your reply, May I ask how long did it take for your son to get a diagnosis? I just know that there is something with my son cause he is different from my younger son and I know shouldn't compare them.

I will look into boden clothing for my son, anything is worth a try to try get him wearing clothes. The part when you say about getting wet, I could have written that myself, my son is exactly the same, it's like the world is ending if gets wet, even dirty. He also has never been one for messy play, he doesn't like getting his hands dirty, has never done finger painting at all cause the second his hand or finger went in the paint it was awful. He's still the same now, doesn't participate in the arts and crafts side of things.

I have wrote out a list of issues that my son has for this next paedtrician appointment and I'm hoping the paedtrician will push for an assessment cause he seems to tick a lot of the criteria. There has been a couple of things that have got a easier to cope with in the past few months but they are still issues that wouldn't bother or be a problem to a "normal" child.

I just find it difficult to deal with when I don't know how to exactly deal with the situations that arise and the lack of support from family members doesn't help either.

It is not easy but I just had to switch my mindset and parent him with the needs he has. I also have a NT daughter and another daughter with ADHD so life is pretty full on. I suspected he had ASD from 3 but did not push for a diagnoses until 6 and he was diagnosed just before his 7th birthday.