I am so crap at this - sorry could be long

[mummy2aaron]

Ok, first background. Ds2 is autistic and starts reception in september. In January I applied for him to go to a not so local school with an asd unit and we got accpeted. I decided to send him to the paying Nursery 2 afternoons per week to get him used to it. He hates it - they shout at him and he covers his ears. Since he got his place we have been made aware he will not be using the asd unit and will get the same level of support at any school. therefore, why the hell am I sending him there and not DS1's school. Ds2 hates the school nursery and won't go, he is scared. So yesterday I asked school admissions whether they had a place at ds1's school and they said yes. It has been confirmed today that he can go - great. I have just had my ear chewed, very nicely of course, by the head that i shouldnt have messed them about and I need to sort it all out with the relevant depatments so she is made aware of his needs and we may be best doing transition until he is 5. Not a problem. I just feel so told off, I am an adult ffs, ok I cocked up with my choice but he was only 3 at the time and I just wanted to do the best thing. Question is - should I push for a statement, is there time, or should I wait until he starts. Really confused now.

What on earth are the nursery staff doing shouting at children?

I'm not sure what the Head means by you leaving it late for transition. Ds2 (4yrs) is also starting Reception in September. The application for a place went in before Christmas but the transition stuff is literally only just starting this month. I haven't even had the official meeting with the school yet, ie the one where we go through what things ds2 might need.

I don't know much about statementing but the general advice seems to be to start the process asap. I doubt it will be in place ready for September but you will at least have a few months head start.

thanks ct, i fell really peed off tbh that she had a go at me really, i know her as ds1 has been at the school for 4 years, i have been to every school trip helped out at everything i can been to every meeting i could and tried to be as supportive as possible, hard with 2 younger ones at home. she knows us - she knows jack and i think she is annoyed we didnt choose there in the first place but i was just trying to do the best i could for him. i got it wrong and feel bad but i expected her help, support maybe even.

I fell like saying 'sorry, I promise he will be good'

I don't see why she thinks she's been messed about. It's not as though you applied there first, changed your mind and went for the other school, and have now changed back again. What about children who have only just moved into the area? I bet she doesn't think their late applications are 'messing her about'.

Have you been able to speak to the school SENCO yet? IME they usually have a far more realistic idea of what should happen next. The Head may be in charge but won't have a clue about what your ds2 is likely to need and/or how long his transition should take.

well before jack had problems him starting sometime in the future was referrefd to and i think she expected his application to be for there, she even rang me to remind me to send it in at the time. when we applied to the other school she also range me then about it. i havent spoken to anyone yet as it just happened late this afternoon. i intend to ring the senco, class team and the ed psych on monday first thing and see if i can get as much info as possible faxed over and a meeting set up. do you think i should push for a statement or wait until september?

Hi Mummy2aaron,

Don't wait until September - apply for the Statement now!!. You as the parent can write to the LEA requesting him be assessed. There is nothing to stop you doing this.

It can take six months for such a document to be set up (and that is if there are no undue delays). It won't therefore be ready for his starting school in September in any event but if you start now then hopefully it will be in place by early next year.

www.ipsea.org.uk has lots of info on it re the whole statementing process and there are letters on there you can use. Also speak to the NAS and get in touch with your local branch.

If you are refused assessment you must appeal against the LEA's decision. School cannot do this therefore it needs to come from you. Parents have far more power than schools do when it comes to making statement applications.

ok i will get on ipsea tonight and start writing. thanks atm i feel like i am clueless lol.