Partner about to lose her job

[CatchingBabies]

Posting just to rant to people who understand more than anything. My partner is about to lose her job and we are terrified about how we will cope financially.

Our son is severely disabled, my mum has always been our childcare help so we could both work but she died last year, we’ve struggled so much since then, due to this my partner has had flexible working hours scheduled around my work so one of us is available after school. Let’s face it childcare doesn’t exist for severely disabled teens.

Now that’s been taken away, a new manager has started and the previously agreed flexible working was informal only agreed verbally, now they say it can’t happen. She’s been given shifts to work next week that she absolutely cannot do without leaving our son unattended at home alone for hours and he is not safe to do that. She has also been told if she leaves she will be fired on the spot. I can’t take the time off I’ve already asked and as I’m the full time main earner losing my job would mean losing the house so she will have to walk out and then she will be fired.

We can’t afford to lose her wage, it’s only 16 hours but it’s the difference between just scraping by and being in debt and having a little to actually treat the kids now and then. Almost no chance of another job either, how many jobs will let you start when you can’t work before 9am or after 4pm and you can’t work weekends. She only got that after working for the company for years in the first place.

I just want to cry as it’s an impossible situation, there is no solution and once she loses her job it’s going to fall on me to work overtime and make up the lost income but I’m already working 40 hours and not coping well mentally due to the stressful situation at home. Sometimes life with disabled children is so fucking hard!

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I didn't want you to go unanswered. Sorry it's so hard. And sorry I don't have any quick answers, hopefully someone else will soon though

I think it would be worth getting some employment law advice and quickly! I think there are quite a few places that will offer a free initial consultation; or a union? I am not a specialist but I have a feeling that if the flexible working arrangements had been going on for some time they might have become settled working patterns even if there wasn't a change in contract. Also there are rules about being able to take time off for children and I think this extends up to 18 if the children are disabled.

Working Families (www.workingfamilies.org.uk) gives free legal advice for families and carers - they have a helpline and email address on their website. I found them really helpful when I was having an issue with my employer - maybe worth a try?

Thank you I will seek advice from them and hope that they can help.

That sounds shit- I’m sorry I don’t have the answer. My best friend was forced into night work for similar reasons, and I quit my job before pushed.

Is it a big company? Does it have HR, as well as seeking advice, union contact and preemptive by contacting HR or senior staff who may be unaware. Even just f she’s fired don’t give up, there’s tribunals etc x

I'd be looking into the discrimination aspects

That sounds shit- I’m sorry I don’t have the answer. My best friend was forced into night work for similar reasons, and I quit my job before pushed.

Is it a big company? Does it have HR, as well as seeking advice, union contact and preemptive by contacting HR or senior staff who may be unaware. Even just f she’s fired don’t give up, there’s tribunals etc x

Has there been a care assessment by Social Services? You may be entitled to respite care.

Have you check all benefit entitlements

Carers allowance
Enhanced tax credits if dc is receiving middle rate care or above

Do you work a shift pattern? If your 9-5 could dw work evenings or weekends when you are home?

Or would night shift be an option for her if your at home the she can sleep when dc goes to school

I'm not understanding why she cannot work weekends - I know that would give you limited time together, but if that's the only time you are home to watch your son ...? Or perhaps she could work evenings once you are home?

Have you input the anticipated income drop into a benefits calculator (such as entitled.to)? She'd be able to claim Carers Allowance, and with the income drop you might be entitled to some other help such as increased Child Tax Credits.

Does he get DLA?

If he does, and he is in school or further education, but not higher education, he can apply for income related ESA, as he is a student, if he is over 16 - or, do you live in a universal credit area? Anyway, if your area has not started universal credit yet, you have to give up child benefit in order for him to get ESA, but its worth it; as the basic amount is £73.10 per week, if he is in the work related activity group; but as he is a student, he should not be in the work related activity group, and hopefully he would be put in the support group and get £110.75 per week.

See:

www.gov.uk/employment-support-allowance/what-youll-get

Actually, there are the enhanced disability premium or severe disability premium supplements on top of that!

If he does get DLA, and her earnings are less than £120 per week after expenses; see this for what the expenses are:

www.gov.uk/carers-allowance/eligibility

then she can claim carers allowance, if she cares for him, is as likely 35 hours a week.

See this for the rights of carers for disabled children and young people at work:

www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/work-and-career/other-rights-at-work/discrimination-under-the-equality-act-2010

As pp have said, I would put in a request for him, under the Children's Act 1989, to have a social care assessment by Children's Social Services; and carers' assessments for you and DP. You could either have respite, or have careworkers come to the house to look after him, while you or DP are at work. (If he is in a special school, it might be that TAs from the school are willing to come and provide care in your home in the school holidays for example). There is one template for a letter, requesting a care assessment and carers' assessment here (to be amended to personal circumstances):

www.autism.org.uk/about/benefits-care/letters-and-complaints.aspx

Professor Luke Clements has written a useful guide on Carers and Their Rights, updated for 2018 (which I have, but I can't find it for sale on the internet). Anyway, there is often useful advice on his website, for example:

www.lukeclements.co.uk/whats-new/

Assuming you live in England, and DC is under 18, here is a useful summary of what DC and you, as carers are entitled to under community care law:

www.autism.org.uk/about/benefits-care/community-care/children/england.aspx

If you live in Wales or Scotland, or DC is over 18, just go back on the website and they have different sections on Wales, Scotland and adult social services.

It may be that the words autism are not applicable to DC, but just substitute his disability and most of it will probably still apply. Any siblings are likely to be young carers at least some of the time - such as when you or DP leave them in the room on their own with disabled DC?

As the website says, if they do a social care assessment of DC; then they should also produce a care and support plan - as to what they will provide to meet his assessed needs! (Some LAs don't produce a care plan, because it is a legal document and they have a statutory duty to provide whats in it. Its like assessing the needs for an EHC plan, but not putting any provisions in it. Seek more advice on here, if that happens)