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Advice on how to motivate v demand avoidant Dd (High Functioning Autism) to do homework...

6 replies

Blossom4538 · 26/10/2018 09:37

They are also having problems at school.
We are trying to support her in the best way and motivate her a little!

Any tips greatly appreciated!

Still haven’t managed Half Term homework...

OP posts:
Sorcs · 26/10/2018 22:55

Same here! I’ve managed to get him to do a little bit of his homework but it’s always with a bribe of tv (current obsession).

I phrase it in a way so it’s a reward rather then a bribe, so it puts a more positive spin on it. I really go over the top with praising him when he does even a tiny bit & I make sure to never push it when I know he’s had enough.

On days when I know I’ll get nowhere I just do a bit of reading with him so at least he’s done something.

Of course there are more fails then gains & it can end in him spiting at me, kicking & pulling my hair especially if I just drop it on him with no prior warning that he has to do it! You would think I’d have learnt by now!🙄

Could you time a 10 minute slot with her for homework & her reward could be 15 minutes of 1-1 time with you giving her your full attention playing with her or doing something together she enjoys?

fleshmarketclose · 26/10/2018 22:59

I got it into her EHCP so school timetabled it and the TA supported her to do it. I figured when she was home she needed respite from school and I didn't need another battle. Any EHCP in place?

zzzzz · 27/10/2018 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mogtheanxiouscat · 28/10/2018 22:44

My dd would always meltdown at homework. Eventually I just told the school no more homework. They agreed for a term. She was allowed to do some homework if she wanted to. Now it is her choice, she does some of it, sometimes. Still have issues but much better.

Ellie56 · 29/10/2018 20:57

Someone once explained to me that autistic children live their lives in boxes. Home things belong in the home box and school things belong in the school box, so problems start when you try to put school things(ie homework) in the home box.

Another problem is that autistic children sometimes find it difficult to transfer skills, so they are able to do something in the school environment, because they have been taught how to do it there, but are completely unable to do the same thing in a different environment.

Our son had all these problems and eventually his school arranged for him to do his homework at lunchtime in the Homework club run by the support assistants. This was a reasonable adjustment and meant we didn't have all the aggro of trying to get him to do homework at home.

It sounds as though your daughter is struggling at school and is becoming stressed out by the demands being made of her. She doesn't need any more stress at home, so I would stop trying to make her do homework.

Instead, I would explain the problem to the school and if necessary, remind them that under the Equality Act, the school has a legal duty to make "reasonable adjustments" for students with a disability, so they need to either exempt her from homework, allow her to do it in school at lunchtime (with support) or come up with some other plan, but she will not be doing it at home.

Sirzy · 30/10/2018 06:40

If it is causing stress I wouldn’t do it.

Last year ds started refusing to do his English homework at home, so we arranged for him to do it in school. This year as far as I know he isn’t even asked to do it in school.

He won’t read school books at home (who can blame him!) but reads things of his own choice when he wants.

We do generally do maths homework but often I jiggle it a bit to make it quicker/less writing but still meet the same aim.

To me it falls into the pick hour battles area!

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