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Hi everyone - just wanted to introduce myself!!

11 replies

sarah573 · 15/06/2007 10:18

Hi everyone! Im Sarah, Im new to this site so can I introduce myself (before I start bugging you all for info and advice!!)
Im mum to Josh (9 next month), Ben 6 and Abby 4.
At present things with Josh are not great. He's always been a 'handful', however since changing schools last September things have gone steeply downhill
There is no doubt in my mind, and we have had this confirmed by the schools educational pshycologist, that Josh has Apergers. We do not yet have a proper dianosis for this.
He has lots of problems at the moment, and is really struggling in school. He is unable to make or keep friends, and in any relationship he has to have his way. If he doesn't get it things can turn nasty! Hes unable to compromise and has a complete lack of empathy. He cannot understand how others are feeling, and cannot grasp how his actions make others feel.
When things don't go his way he can go into meltdown. I recognise this at home and can sometimes avert it. At school he shouts, lashes out, kicks things etc. He is oblivious to anyone, and anything in his way, and has been physical towards teachers who have tried to detain him 'mid-meltdown'. Afterwards (and he calms down very quickly) he has no, or very little recollection of what has happened.
He is very bright (especially in maths, science and computing). He has no imgination AT ALL. I can't remember him ever voluntarily drawing a picture, playing mummys and daddys etc.
He is obsessional with odd things. He collects lightbulbs and learns train timetables!!
He cannot tell the truth. He will blantantly deny doing something wrong - even if I have seen him do it. On the other hand he is VERY honest about peoples faults, and will ask someone 'Why they have a wrinkly face' without giving a second thought to how it may make them feel.
He makes up stories, and will come out with some tale that is obviously not true, 'The school toilets flooded today', 'The police came and arrested the headteacher (I wish!!)', that sort of thing.
Our main problem with school at the moment is his meltdowns. The schools answer is to exclude him everytime it happens. He's been exlcuded 9 times this school year, and is now under threat of a permanet exclusion.
He has been through the school action, action plus and is now on Pastoral support. He has also been on a parttime time table only doing mornings for several months.
The LEA have provided funding for a one to one worker, however the school have not yet found anyone. It has been several months since the funding was given.
He has been seen by the ed pshyc, who told me (only when I directly asked her), that she has no doubt that josh has Aspergers, however she doesn't feel it helpful to label children?!?! Her report covers all of the 'symptoms' but doesn't directly name aspergers/ASD.
I have seen out GP, and we are on the waiting list for a CAHMS appointment. The waiting list is 4 months!!
Josh is on a fixed term exclusion at the moment for throwing a pencil across the class room (it didnt hit anyone!). The exclusion started off for 5 days, however it has now been extended to 7 so that we can meet with the LEA. The head has told me that she doen't want Josh at the school anymore and will be seeking a perment exlusion at this meeting.
Anyhow thats our story so far!! This looks like a great forum, and Im looking forward to chatting with you all.
Any advice, comments suggestions would be greatfully received.
Sarah

OP posts:
coppertop · 15/06/2007 10:27

Welcome to the SN board, Sarah. I have a 6yr-old ds (ASD), a 4yr-old ds (AS), and a 1yr-old dd.

Does Josh have a statement? If so then the school/LEA has to provide the help.

I did LOL at the "I wish!" comment about the Head being arrested. It sounds as though the school just don't have a clue about AS. Are there any other schools in the area that you could have a look around? The right school can make a huge difference.

Hopefully other MN'ers will be able to give you advice about the legal stuff but I just wanted to say hello.

sarah573 · 15/06/2007 11:00

Hi Coppertop, no he doesn't have a statement. The result of the last meeting was that the school would begin the process, however my feeling is they are dragging their heels. If when we meet again on Tuesday the SENCO hasn't began the process then I will do it myself.

Yes you're right about the school. They do not know how to deal with an AS child. The head is completely disinterested, and although his teacher is very nice she obviously doens't have a clue!

Sarah

OP posts:
eidsvold · 15/06/2007 11:35

Hiya and welcome.... I am usually behind the times or ahead being in Australia.

I have a dd with down syndrome and a congenital heart defect - albeit repaired heart defect. She will be 5 in August.

I can't comment on the school situation but there are plenty of others who will come along and hopefully can help.

Just wanted to say Hi.

magso · 15/06/2007 12:17

Hi Sarah! I'm fairly new to mn and have a Ds age 7 with mld/ asd traits (no Dx yet)amongst other things, and have sadly some parental 'experience' with exclusions!! You can apply for a statutary assessment yourself and there are advantages such as a right of appeal if your request is turned down. You need to have evidence ready, so that is the first thing. Keep a list/diary to record problems as they occur. Get copies of expert reports to support you eg the ed psych. Ipsea website www.ipsea.org.uk and ACE websites www.ace-ed.org.uk are helpful for information and model letters. Hope tis helps.

magso · 15/06/2007 12:21

Forgot the other helpful advice is from the NAS advocacy for education advice line. 0845 070 4002. An advisor rings you back within a few days. Sorry bad spelling day today!!

indiasmum · 15/06/2007 12:35

hi sarah573!
welcome to the gang! i have 3 kids, ds1(8) has AS, ds2 (4) has AS/HFA, dd(2) is NT afaik

you will find olads of help and support here, i have learnt loads, even sometimes through just lurking and not posting myself.

good luck with it all, once you manage to get a dx things will improve no end for you and your ds. not least because of the simple knowledge of what makes him behave the way he does, courses you can go on and possible statementing for your ds.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/06/2007 12:44

Hi Sarah

I would strongly suggest that you as the parent apply for the statement rather than any SENCO from the school. If you apply you can appeal if the LEA say no to assessment. The school do not have this right. There is nothing to stop you directly writing to the LEA asking for your child to be assessed. Infact parents are in a far better position if they write to the LEA.

No statement to my mind equals no support.

I would also look at IPSEA's website; there is info on there re school exclusion. I would also suggest you call them as a matter of course.

www.ipsea.org.uk is the web address.

I would also go all out to get an official diagnosis - your GP should refer you to a developmental paediatrician at a child development centre. I would go down that route rather than see CAMHS (have read many mixed reports re them).

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/06/2007 12:47

www.ipsea.org.uk/exclusion-support-sheets.htm#upto5nostatemn t

Sarah

You need to read this as well re the exclusion.

theheadgirl · 15/06/2007 13:19

Hi Sarah,
I have 3 DD, the youngest has Downs syndrome and ASD. I've found MN very helpful and just wanted to say welcome

sarah573 · 15/06/2007 14:38

Hi everyone - I didn't realise that about appealing the assessment if I made the request myself. The school didn't want to go ahead with it. They said because he has only been at the school for one year they felt there was limited information they could offer (hmmm how about all of the behaviour thats been deemed serious enough for exclusions!), and that they would wait until next year. I think it might have something to do with all the extra money involved if he is statemented. I had to really push for the SENCO to go ahead with it. I can bet though that when I go in for the meeting on tuesday there is some convinient excuse as to why the process has not been started in the last 6 weeks.
I've also made another GP appointment for next week, to ask him to refer us to a peadiatrician so that we can get Josh a proper diagnosis.
Off to look at his school records now. Sure they will make for interesting reading!
Sarah

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/06/2007 14:51

Sarah,

Sounds like this school are not interested in applying for a statement regardless so I would do so instead. Think they've just given you a load of flannel about their reasons and waiting until next year only adds to the delay; some schools find it easier to deny there is a problem than to actually try and address it.

You as the parent are in a far better position than school with regards to applying for a statement; this is why I would counsel that you put in a letter to the LEA asap requesting statutory assessment. They may well turn you down but you can and should appeal their decision if that is the case.

www.ipsea.org.uk also has model letters you can use. The LEA must reply to your letter within six weeks of you writing it.

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