How do you tell other children about your DC's SN's?

[ThomCat]

Anyone been there done it yet?

My very bright neice who is 6 is going to need something said to her in the not too distant future and I'm sure there will be others.

We are going to see my BIL & SIL in summer holidays and want to discuss with them what we do when the time comes. It's their child but affects mine so I want to be involved in how they expalin it to her.

Neice 1 is 6, neice 2 is 4, Lottie is 5.

I was getting Lottie organised and neice 1 said "Why do you have to home?" and I said "Lottie has school in the morning" and she said "What school like my school, but she's only little, Ellen doesn't go to school and Lottie is younger than Ellen". I sort of bypassed the question with saying "Ellen will go to school soon won't she and then Eve will too,, everyone goes to school don't they". However it made me realise that I'm going to have to deal with this one day soon.

What does one say to a young child?

I read an article by a lady whose 3rd dd has DS. She explained to her elder 2 dd's that "X has Down Syndrome. It means that she is slower to learn some things. She will be able to do everything you do, it will just take longer"
I think that was the gist of it anyway!

DS1's twin friends from antenatal group (who we see very rarely but keep in contact with) used to call him a baby - because he can't talk. not in a nasty way at all, just because that was their way of processing it. We met up recently- now they're just 8 and it was fine, they just accepted him for who he is. I always say "ds1 finds it difficult to do ........ x, y, z".

I'd be careful about saying "she will be able to do everything" because in my experience one of the questions you get is "when will he do x" (usually in ds1's case 'talk'), and constant 'when's' get a bit tiring. It might be appropriate for Lottie- depends on how close she is to doing stuff iyswim.

Hmmm, some food for thought. All a bit weird really. I just hate it when when children say 'why can't she walk' and so far my standard response is 'well she can a bit, she's still learning'.

Thanks for you posts. I'll print off nd take with me when I go and see B&SIL in summer.

I watched Lots walk in her stiff legged littel way into school this morning, dress down to her ankle despite it being taken up loads and she was so tiny in comparison to her peers whose skirts came to their knees. It gave me the most massive lump in my throat.

I can't bear the thought of her being in year 1 and not reception this Sept. It's going to be such a massive leap all over again and I'm not looking forward to the latter part of this year already!

TC. if it's any comfort, I can guarantee that a lot of the parents of the "NT" children will feel the same. I know I did when ds1 went into a class which had a number! She'll be fine, she'll be with her classmates who love her and will look out for her.

I take DD1 with me quite often when I pick DD2 up from nursery. DD1 has issues with walking and (age 3 1/2) operates at about 9 months. Last week, 2 little girls of about DD1's age came up to her and tried to engage her (as always DD1 blanked them, I've no idea what she thinks of these interactions) and then asked me - with disturbing penetration: "who is she? Is she a baby or a girl?" I said "She's both. She's 3 years old, but she still thinks like a baby. If you talk to her, she can't say anything back. But that doesn't mean she doesn't like you, she just can't talk yet."

It was one of those significant firsts iyswim; ie the first time I had to explain her to another child. Like the first time I had to justify her behaviour in a supermarket, or the day I decided we couldn't go to mainstream baby groups any more, or the day I realised I would be looking after her for the rest of my life. I'm sure I'll develop a better explanation and eventually trot it out without having to engage my brain too much. But first time wasn't easy.

r3dh3d - ohh that bit about looking out for her for the rest of your life. Hmm, yes. DP really irritated me the other day (am hormonal and unreasoinable!) and I sort of muttered to DD1, 'ohh at least you won't have the hassle of a husband' (sort of thing) and then realised what I'd thought and had to choke back the tears!

I went on Amazon and bought We'll Paint the Octopus Red and My Friend Isabelle today.

I think about this alot and I did the other day as my ds (age 20 months WIlliams syndrome and epilepsy) was on the trampoline with me. He cannot sit unaided yet. The little girl from next door came in and started asking questions.....made me think about how I'm going to tell other kids as they start to notice the difference in Louis compared to their friends.

Thomcat- Ive just taken a look at your pciture of Lottie and she really is gorgeous- very photogenic.