My daughter won’t let me touch her ears.

[TinkFoxclaw]

hello I’m new to this site so I hope I’m posting and doing this right?!
Ok well I have a six year old daughter who is on the asd, I’m still waiting to see the people who can give me a better idea of where she is on the spectrum. The reason I am looking for some help/advice is, my daughter freaks out every time I touch her ears. I’m getting concerned because I can see the wax building up inside her ear. I think it’s causing her hearing problems because she turns the tv up quite loud, and she turns her tablet up full volume. I’m worried because I don’t want to upset her and freak her out, but I was wondering what I can do to get rid of the build up in her ears. I’m not sure what to use to soften the wax and to drain/lift it out of her ears. I really don’t want it to affect her hearing anymore than it is, and I don’t want her ending up with an ear infection. I know it will be a challenge to try and get her to lay there and allow me to try and use something to get it out, but I’m hoping my sister will help me with that. 🤞🏼
I’m sorry this is a long winded question, I’m just not very good at expressing what I need help with. 🙈

Firstly I'll just link to this thing about the spectrum in case you're not familiar with it themighty.com/2016/05/rebecca-burgess-comic-redesigns-the-autism-spectrum/

It might be worth a phonecall to her GP to ask if they can recommend anything, maybe stuff you can use in her sleep to break down the wax. You could start with the pharmacist but as it seems like it's already a significant issue, it might be worth going straight to the GP as it would be much better sorted in one hit. I have a standing agreement with DS that I can put lipsalve and epaderm on him when he is asleep. He really hates the sensation and this just takes the stress out of it. Other stuff like dentists and cutting toenails we manage with notice, letting him say when he's ready, stopping when he says and not cajoling "just a little bit more".

A different sensation might help too. Eg suncream is an issue for us but DS tolerates it much better in a roll-on. So if she can't stand you touching her ears, can you change the sensation in some way that makes it more acceptable? Plus add in tablet, lolly, cuddly toy, whatever other distractions you can pile in. DS says "basically you're bribing me again!" Yes, totally, because we know it's horrible for him and we want to make it easier.