Adhd/asd

[mrssparkle123]

Hi everyone, firstly I'd like to start by saying I really don't want to offend anyone with my post, I don't know a lot about either condition, however I went to the doctor with concerns about my 4 year old and he said he'll refer me to rule out adhd, however others have said it sounds like asd, sometimes I think my son is totally NT and others I'm not so sure, surely if it was one of these conditions this wouldn't be the case!?

My son has a few sensory issues, he licks things and puts things in his mouth more than other children his age, he could eat constantly and I don't mean your typical 'I'm hungry' he will stand at a table of food and eat and eat and eat and still say he's hungry. He loves being squeezed and tickled, he laughs if you touch him as he says it tickles, he sits on his younger brother and sister and thinks they find it funny, he asks his brother to jump on him and hit him. Still eats play dough, sand, anything not edible.

He is very sensitive to change and likes routine as most children do, he doesn't like people looking at him (but gives good eye contact) he was very distressed about going into school because he said people were looking at him so they've let him go a different way.

He fixates on characters, books and people and is generally very obsessive. He has extremely intense role play where he seems to take on the character whole heartedly. He fixates upon death since learning the Easter story of Jesus and mentions Jesus and death numerous times a week, he told me I'm not allowed to have any more birthdays as he'll die and I won't have a mummy.

He has a crazy long term memory and learnt to recognise his numbers from a really young age (but he's not particularly good at understanding numbers, it was just another fixation!) and he knew all the Thomas trains with their names numbers and colours at age 2 (again not abnormal)

He trained himself to poo in his nappy at night because he was so scared of going, this has been going on for 2 years (has got much better with various techniques and medication)

He can recognise if someone is cross, sad or happy but it doesn't seem to sink in if someone is displaying that emotion, he is extremely loving to his baby sister but other than that if someone is hurt he doesn't seem to have any reaction.

He can be very aggressive, for example hitting his younger brother repeatedly and screaming because he said something was red that wasn't.

He has meltdowns up to 10 times a day on a bad day where it is impossible to reason with him, but he does eventually calm down. He had a 45 minute meltdown the other day because he couldn't understand why his brother was going in a pram when he doesn't usually and was asking to go in the pram himself and asking to be a baby. He's quite obsessed with being a baby.

He loves the reaction of calling people silly names and is obsessed with private parts.

We are having his hearing assessed as he's always asking us to repeat ourselves or speak louder. He hates loud noises and is terrified of cars on the road.

He is very loud and impulsive and every day has random bursts of energy (running around the house at full speed for 20 minutes at a time) he has bursts of hysterical laughter and finds it very hard to calm down but other times he calmly says things like 'I'm going to punch you in the face'

He gets very angry when he's hurt, rather than upset. He's very very clumsy and doesn't appear to have any spatial awareness. Very very messy eater (much more so than his younger brother) he forgets simple tasks that we reinforce daily and becomes so distracted on his way to do something simple, it can take 45 mins to do a 5 min job, his uncle has dyspraxia, wondering if this could be a factor.

I'm so sorry for the really long post, I just have no idea, the school said the referral could take up to 2 years before we actually get seen, he's obviously very young and there are children with needs much more severe that him, I am struggling though and want to help him as he does show obvious signs of anxiety, is it worth getting an ADOS assessment privately? Is this something that can be done? Is he too young? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated and please bear in mind I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about! Xx

He also comes across extremely rude and will only speak about things that interest him and boy when he does you don't get a word in edgeways, he repeats things constantly until he's sure he's been heard, he will only play with one child at a time and when others try to play with him he refuses!

sometimes I think my son is totally NT and others I'm not so sure, surely if it was one of these conditions this wouldn't be the case

No, kids with both these conditions can appear to be NT some of the time. You need to do some research into different conditions. Have a look at this about the spectrum so you can see it's made up of lots of ordinary things, it's the intensity of the effect of some of the things which will differentiate between a diagnosis or not.
the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

For sensory info, see
www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?v=201507131117

@BlankTimes thank you for those two links, they are both very informative. I have read a lot about spd, dcd, adhd and asd, but the problem I'm finding is a lot of them overlap so I just have no idea what it is, if it's even anything at all, how on earth would a paed go about diagnosing this! Also when I enquired to a few private paeds they said they can't diagnose as young as 4, so it seems like I just have to wait this out.

You're very welcome .
Loads of traits do overlap with different diagnoses. That's why most diagnostics are carried out by a team usually consisting of Paed, OT, SLT and Ed Psych.

The assessments they carry out are diagnostic, lots of questions for you (and school) and activities for your son, he'll be observed at their premises and possibly at home, usually school. There are particular questions within the diagnostic criteria which are then scored. It's a medical diagnosis, so they are thorough in their tests before saying what the diagnosis is.

NHS will dx ASD quite young if there's a very strong presentation with lots of back-up from nursery, but for ADHD it's quite a bit later, either 7 or 9 yrs old if I remember rightly, if not someone else will advise.

It's also common for children to receive more than one diagnosis.

Very very messy eater
Have you tried him with childrens' Caring Cutlery? It was a revelation in this house.
Loads of stockists, this is one type, watch the video.
www.nrshealthcare.co.uk/eating-drinking-aids/cutlery-aids/kura-care-childrens-cutlery-set

Private assessments, you really are better off finding a team whose conclusions are accepted by the NHS because SOME of the people you'll need to deal with along the way like Local Authority and your own GP won't accept non-NHS diagnoses.
Some specialists work one day a week for the NHS and the other 4 privately, their diagnoses are acceptable as NHS "approved"
Try and find out if there are any in your area, then you can have a private dx but also one the NHS will accept.

@BlankTimes that is so so helpful thank you! And that cutlery looks fab. Even with finger foods he makes a terrible mess, bless his heart! There's definitely not a strong presenting case here, so if there is a diagnosis it won't be happening any time soon!! Preschool were lovely but his teacher was very old school and kept saying but he's young, she was very supportive but always came up with an excuse for his behaviour, when I'd say so what about the younger children in his class? Are any other children doing these things? She would say nooo but..... and when I went to see her after I got the referral we did a tick sheet together and for each thing she said yes it is true but he got so much better! Bless her she was lovely but I don't think she saw as much of it as we do at home.

At preschool he had meltdowns, hated the loud noises and became distressed, had a fear of the interactive whiteboard, played alone, fixated on one child and became really distressed if he played with someone else, refused to join in any activities but watched while they were going on, his report said 'he sticks to tried and tested methods and becomes very upset at the first hurdle' but his teacher said all of this got so much better and assured me he's just young!