Changing schools for a child with suspected Autism - could anyone give me some advice

[KangKorandKoloth]

Hi,

My DS2 is in year 2 and has struggled with school since reception - it's a bit of everyhting from stuggling with making friends and being around other children to the classroom enviroment and actually sitting down and getting work done. It's suspected he might have high fucntioning autism and we're on the waiting list for a peadiatrics appointment to get this looked at. He also stuggles outside of school with similar issues and we're also struggling quite a bit with him at home, although school seems to be where he stuggles most. He was put on the SEN register last year for his behavioural issues, although he deosn't have an EHCP.

I was called in for a meeting with the SENDCO and headteacher today as they feel he's not making any progress at all at school and is actually quite unhappy rn (which is heartbreaking for me but tbf I'd tend to agree with - he goes out of his way to avoid going to school). They have suggested that it might be in his best interests to look at sending him to a different school for year three and I have agreed to explore this.

I was just wondering if anyone here had been through this before and could offer some avdvice about the best way to make sure to ensure DS2 winds up in a school where he feels happy enough to engage with education. The headteacher at his current school suggested ringing up a few schools and talking to their SENDCO, but I really don't know where to start with doing that or how best to explain DS2's issues without putting them off. I also have the issue that, if he changes school, it will be out of catchment and we run the risk of not been given a place even if it could meet his needs. I'm really floundering a bit here and would really appreciate anything anyone could offer to help me see the wood from the trees - it all feels a bit intimidating rn.

Thanks in advance

Have his current school put any support in place to try and help you DS engage with learning?

If they have and it isn't working then the next step would be to get the advice of external agencies (eg educational psychologist, autism team) to suggest different strategies AND consider applying for an Education Health Care Plan.

I'm alarmed to hear instead of doing this they are suggesting you find an alternative school and I would be very wary they are not trying to off roll him (so they don't have to record the fact he hasn't made any progress academically on their results - because they haven't supported him properly).

Similarly if it's because they don't want to spend any money supporting him alarm bells would ring.

If actually what he needs is a more specialist setting (eg small classes etc) then he definitely would need an EHCP for that.

With the right nurturing support I'm sure he can and will make progress and friends, but the right setting and the will of the school to help are critical (for ref my DS is autistic, very demand avoidant and left mainstream school this year 5 to start in a special school and so far is thriving there).

Don't let the school rail road you.

Also - ring whoever is due to asses your DS for ASD and explain the current school situation and see if there is anyway he can be seen sooner.

Details of EHCP here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/Pages/Category/education-health-and-care-plans

Having said that - not all mainstream schools are the same and you might find a more nurturing mainstream that would help him thrive.

Don't be put off by Ofsted or results - sometimes schools with more challenging intakes are much better equipped at supporting students with SEND.

Finally - you haven't said he's explosive but if that's the case read up on strategies for PDA:

www.pdasociety.org.uk/families/strategies

Also the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is excellent.

@marshmallow09er - thanks so much for responding, this is all incredibly new to me and tbh I'm finding it very diffiuclt in rl to find out infomation and to know what I should be doing for the best while coping with everything else, so to have a few links and another's point of view is a Godsend. :)

The school have put in support via the Benjamin foundation which consists of someone coming in to see him once a week to talk. I've met with her a couple of times to discuss how he's getting on, but apart from some work around self esteem, it's not really been altogether clear to me what she's done to support with his behaviour and whether he gets much out of the sessions. She's now said that as she's done 30 weeks work with him with no progress that it's probably for the best that she stops her work. I know the school have tried to refer to point one as well but they've refused to see him because the school is a thrive school and they say they won't offer anything that the school already does. The SENDCO suggested that he might be depressed and that it might be worth seeing the GP again so I'm going to make him another appointment and chase the peadiatrician's appointment again. I hadn't thought of mentioning the school stuff so will do that, thank you.

In terms of things like an educational psychologist or ECHP, they've not suggested doing this but in all honesty I hadn't thought to ask because he doesn't have a diagnosis yet and I didn't think he was entitled to those services. I've been told there's some kind of action plan they have for him, but haven't seen it and don't know what's on it. They can be a bit backwards in coming forwards when it comes to sharing info with me and I've tried to rectify this by asking for a home/school communications book but it wasn't being filled in on a regular basis until this year.

It's also complicated with the fact that consequences and rewards don't work with him at all - he's just indifferent to all of it and genuinelly doesn't seem to mind if he misses out on something because of his behaviour. So I think the teachers struggle to find a classroom management stragety which works with him.

That link on PDA is very much like the behaviour my son displays - I wouldn't describe him as explosive but he can get himself very worked up very very quickly and can take a long time to calm. I have been wondering if it's a sensory issue because at school, he'll go hide under the desks when he's feeling that way. I suggested getting an OT involved but school seem reluctant - as they feel he's making the choice to go under the desk as an alternative to doing his work.

Oh your poor DS.

Yes that all sounds like extreme anxiety behaviour (and v similar to my DS). Lots of hiding under desks here too (and some throwing too!).
I can't tell you the difference being in a small nurturing setting who understand his needs has made.

I have to say ours has been a long journey - despite DS being diagnosed at 5, it's taken nearly 5 more years to get where he is now.

His first school couldn't get their head around how to support him because he didn't present how they imagined a typical ASD child would (of course there is no such thing anyway!).

They totally saw his behaviour as a choice.

Reward and punishment don't work because he can't choose not to do something when actually what he's feeling is extreme fear and anxiety.

Much better strategies here:

www.pdasociety.org.uk/resources/education-resources

My biggest learning in his all is read and learn all your can - you will generally always know better than school how to support him so don't expect school to be the experts.

Learn the law and what schools should do in terms of the graduated approach to support - but also if you're teetering on exclusion / them 'persuading' you to take him elsewhere then you might want to fast track straight to EHCP assessment.

An assessment will (should) include an EP and OT report to build a full picture of your DS's needs.

It's not diagnosis dependent (however it would be useful for you I think).

The best thing we did in year 2 was pay for a private OT assessment of DS.

For good advice on what the school should be doing you can book a call in with Ipsea or SOSSEN.

You will also have an independent advice service in your area (altho they often just tell you LA policy rather than the law which you will find can differ greatly).

https://councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/independent-support

Finally if you do apply for an EHCP assessment be prepared to be told something like he won't get one if he's not x years behind - that's not true at all.
Plus the LA will probably say no (ours did). You can appeal the decision and 85% of no decisions are overturned at appeal.
LAs just try and put people off.

The SN chat and children boards are busier than this one and contain many people who have been / are where you are right now.