Dont want to do assessment

[Creeper8]

The school referred my son to a paed as in school he was eating non food items like tissue, paper, sequins! and also mentioned that he seems quite anxious and they thought he was eating it due to anxiety apparently. I attended the appointment as she wants to assess my son for asd. Not at any point did the school mention they suspected it but apparently thats what the appointment was made for. Now I do not think my son has autism at all, Im no expert but I know him best. I dont want to go through with a assessment as there is still allt of stigma to autism. Would I be wrong?

Yes, very wrong. If he does have autism then he needs appropriate support. If you refuse him that opportunity then you're actually a part of the stigma. Would you refuse your child testing for diabetes?

You answered your question when you said you're no expert. Chances are that this appointment will be for a screening. If he doesn't appear to someone who does know about asd to have it, then that will go no further.

An assessment won’t lead to a diagnosis of autism if he hasn’t got autism. If he has got autism then not getting assessed won’t make him not autistic.

Parents aren’t often best placed to see the signs.

Sorry dont mean to sound bad. Bit of a drip feed but my dd has autism (diagnosed) she has a ehcp but doesnt get any help other than that. I doubt my son would even get a ehcp. The only other thing she gets is DLA. My son doesnt seem to struggle at all. He certainly isnt anxious around me or anyone I know. They were all very surprised when I told them. I see autism referred to as a mental health issue alot and even had a stranger call my daughter mentally ill so I just dont want to saddle my son with the same.

Yup you would be wrong...the school senco and a paediatrician, both professionals with experience, both said ds couldn't possibly have autism...last week he got his autism diagnosis...if they got it wrong then you could be wrong too.

Why would you not want to be able to access help that may be needed for you ds

It’s possible that your view of him is skewed by your knowledge of autism from your DD’s presentation - he could be very different to her and still autistic. I teach lots of students who are autistic but don’t qualify for an EHCP, yet do very much need that diagnosis, and for teachers to be aware of it. They also get extra support with social skills.

If he’s not autistic then he won’t get a diagnosis. If he is autistic and you don’t have him assessed, then problems may become apparent as he gets older and support delayed/opportunities missed.

Hmm still something to think about I guess but yes he is the very different to my dd. Is it possible that because my dd has autism they are just expecting he must aswell? My sister said they just like to label people these days and she is someone who works in sn teaching.

There’s not an awful lot of money for SEN these days and you can wait years for assessments so I don’t think they’re labelling anyone and everyone.

He’s displaying odd behaviour and school think he’s anxious. They see him in different situations to you where he may be less comfortable, where he’s required to interact with different children and may see a different side to him. It’s also possible that because his Dsis is autistic that your homelife is very autism-friendly and so it’s not as apparent.

It’s entirely possible he’s not autistic, if he’s not then the school can start looking for another explanation for his behaviour. If you cancel the assessment then he’s still eating paper at school, but now the school won’t know what to do about it as they won’t have been told for sure it’s not autism.

I think he is just shy. Tbh he hates school so I imagine thats where the anxiety comes from, Not wanting to be there.

I don't see what you have to lose by going ahead with the assessment.

Any 'stigma' attached to ASD doesn't need to be an issue here. If you don't go out of your way to mention it to people, then there's no reason for them to know.

Your DS could be extremely different from your DD and still have ASD.

It's quite hard to get an ASD referral (with CAMHS as overloaded as it is) and no school or HCP will be putting a child forward for it unless they have significant concerns.

If he doesn't have it then he won't be diagnosed with it.

I read online alot and see alot of people referring to it as mh issues, I already know mh has such a huge stigma and not sure if its worth labelling him. The wait is a year long roughly she said so I guess I have alot of time to think.

We recently got an autism Dx for my daughter. I was hesitant as she wasn't having problems (beyond stuff that could be explained as shyness), but as she gets older I'm glad she does. E.g. today in assembly she was called on to be monitor for her class and she got really upset. If her Dx wasn't known I can imagine her being put under pressure to do it, or being told off for not doing it - but because school and we know she is autistic they can interpret it in that light and we all learn from it together and move on.

I kind of get it, because I was worrying about the stigma too. But I think things are changing. Autistic adults are claiming the term for themselves and finally taking their rightful place at the centre of debates around provision of services and research. I have a genuine hope that by the time our kids are older being autistic can be a community of like-minded people they can rely on for support and friendship, and not a stigma. But if we don't let them get used to the idea when they are young that their brains work a bit differently then it may be much harder to adjust when they are older and potentially having more challenges.

These are not my views but views I have read and experienced, I didnt realise there was so much stigma until recently.

We went to the same centre but it was a different lady and no they are 7 (dd) and 6 (ds).

The mh issues around autism arise when needs are not met. Autism itself is not a mental health issue and is most certainly not a label.

I have two with autism and, especially when young, they have always been very, very different.