aspergers dx in adult - where do we go from here?

[morocco]

hmm
not quite sure where I'm going with this post but wondered if anyone had any bright ideas
my brother is 32 and just dx as aspergers and trying to get referred to some clinic in sheffield - it's a bit like pulling teeth trying to get any more info out of him lol! he's had a lot of problems and disappointments in life and we asked him to see a psychiatrist cos of depressive/paranoid behaviours getting much worse recently which is a story in itself
as I said, i'm not sure what to ask as such but wonder where we might be going from here, what kind of treatment? he would be getting in sheffield, how to help my parents with all this etc etc
basically any words of wisdom i spose
one thing in particular i'd like advice on is how to help my parents cope with his behaviours and any sites with advice etc. of course, he's always been this way and it's always been, oh that's just how he is, but perhaps we should be a bit more proactive than that? i don't know really
sorry to ramble on

sorry if this is a bit obvious, but have you called the www.nas.org.uk helpline? ds has AS, they sent us loads of info and were really helpful. since i found out i have just been a bit more undestanding and tried to be more specific when asking him to do stuff, nothing huge just being aware of it really

thanks perpetuaphoenixfire (how do i shorten that?
no, it's not too obvious at all!! perhaps I am a bit in denial cos I haven't even googled it yet, which is soooo unlike me. also it just seems weird starting finding out about it all now he is in his 30's iykwim. and bad that none of us noticed , even though we did really
blathering on again, sorry

im really not an expert, i didnt even know what it was til my friends mum told me she thought ds had AS. her niece has just been diagnosed and she didnt spot it, she has worked with autistic kids for years so feels awful - but doesn prove that even the experts dont always get it right!

i imagine it must be wierd finding out as an adult, we knew ds had a problem but he is still at primary school, so we are lucky (if thats the right word!) to have found out so early. before we knew what was going on we really struggled as i didnt know how to react. half the stuff i tried made things worse, at least i have an idea of what not to do now, even if i dont always get it right.

my friend said AS is like being dropped into a totally different culture, you dont know what certain behaviours mean and you dont know how to act. its not that their behaviour is wrong, its just different. i dont know how much of this applies to adults, but with ds its a case of trying to learn how to behave in situations (like not punching someone cos they won a game and he didnt) and learn to try and understand how people are feeling. for me its a case of being very clear what i want of him and trying to calm him before he goes into a total meltdown. there are lots of books, i read martian in the playground and found it very helpful, there was a thread recently about which books to look for (you might find it if you try a search), i started at the library and was impressed they had quite a few helpful titles

the books sound really interesting. my bro actually diagnosed himself (before this 'proper' one) when he was doing support work for , wait for it, people on the autism/aspergers spectrum, and started reading up on it. oh the irony. I think over the years we've developed ways of dealing with his behaviour, but perhaps not the best ways, so it would be good to read up more about the way he sees the world. he is v depressed atm, why he went to the psychiatrist. interestingly on the website you recommended, it mentions people being misdiagnosed with schizophrenia etc which is so true for him

you might find

www.donnawilliams.net

interesting reading

I don't think it's all that unusual for people with Aspergers etc to have other problems like depression/OCD/ADHD - I think partly because of the day to day stress of having social or sensory problems

hiya morocco, i have AS and was dx,d 2 years ago.
depression and anxiety go hand in hand with lots of people with AS and its understanding how to manage it thats the key.
i asked to be referred to my local mental health team and i receive counselling every week, but there was a waiting list.
also, if you know a good psychologist specialising in asd then that can help. the nas will be able to put you in touch with both nhs and private specialists in your area.
a dx is a good thing because its a way of understanding why your brother does the things and acts the way he does.
how does he feel about his dx?
i felt like a huge weight had lifted from my shoulders when i found out.
HTH

hi jenk1, thanks for posting, I don't know how my brother feels as yet but I've invited him over in the next week or so and hope to chat to him then. it's been such a horrible year for him that I hope it seems a step forward. i'm also hoping it will help family to have realistic expectations of him(including me). did you find the counselling helpful? was it cbt?