ADHD assessment

[BertieBotts]

Don't really know what I am looking for but I thought I wanted to post/say hello/gather experience I suppose?

I have finally bitten the bullet and arranged an ADHD assessment for DS who is 9. I was diagnosed as an adult a couple of years ago and I just can't ignore the signs in him. He's not seriously struggling but we're lucky in that we have the opportunity to seek assessment without needing to wait and I wanted to see what they thought before he runs into serious problems. We live in Germany, and next year they have to choose their school stream which feels like such a lot of pressure as it basically sets out the course of the child's education/life - it is possible to go to university from a "lower stream" school but more difficult. And I genuinely don't know how to navigate this or what's best for him.

The things we are most worried about at the moment are school work, socialising and screen obsession. I'm concerned he's getting drawn into a silly crowd because he just doesn't seem to know how to properly relate to other children unless it's by showing off/being stupid and then he loses all sense of where the boundaries are, when he's normally fairly sensible. Nothing especially terrible has happened at this age but once he becomes a bit older I'm worried we'll lose that peace of mind.

But OTOH struggling with it a bit myself - are we jumping the gun? He's not unhappy or having significant problems, more niggles which seem to add up and reflect my own experience. Is the doctor going to turn around and say he just has too much screen time/freedom and we need to curtail that/we've caused all of the problems by being too lax? I think one of the tests they do as well is a blood test and I feel anxious for him for that because he's scared of needles. I haven't mentioned it and I don't even really know if it's the case but I think it's quite likely. I don't know whether to tell him or not.

Hi Bertie. We recently did the same (at same age) after years of suspecting some sort of SN for DS. We raised it as a possibility with the school and they were quite supportive although they didn't see it as such a problem as we do at home despite DS having 'needs support to concentrate/focus' on every report. We too are worried about him bring labelled disruptive/inattentive but our main aim is that if there is a diagnosis then it gets the supports In place before high school.

At our initial appointment I cried because the nurse doing the assessment said he clearly showed signs of both ADHD and ASD- not because he might have them but because it vindicated us pushing for the referral. In our CAHMS team they have to identify what referral route they're going down first and have decided on ADHD . I don't really know what to expect at the next appt but at least we're now on the journey.

So basically I'd say if you have any concerns you should act on them as otherwise you might end up years down the line wishing you had.

Thanks Birdy. I definitely want to get the support in place before secondary as it's so stringent here in Germany and he'll be starting his last year of primary school in September.