any parents of children with PDA out there? loosing the will to live here.

[staydazzling]

I have a ds 6 years old with PDA suspected (but pretty obvious tbh) undergoing assesment. its become so draining as eveything daily becomes an ordeal and is traumatic as you'll all be familiar. do any of you have any tips and tricks to help function with a child with PDA. ??

V.interesting thread, my DD 7 is currently going through ASD assessment and ADHD assessment too. When I filled in what felt like 863673 forms I filled one in to do with PDA and found I was scoring her very high on those questions in particular, however, she seems to mask VERY well at school, her school is a small friendly local community school and they don’t see the behaviours we do at home, they only see her easily distracted and a bit “silly” now and then.. I can tell she’s masking because her anxiety over school/after school clubs is huge and I think that’s because she knows she’s going to mask and finds it really hard - if that makes sense to anyone?

Im sorry everyone else is struggling too, at the moment my main struggle is how horrid she is to her sisters, the constant winding up, stealing their stuff, refusing to leave their rooms, refusal to do anything asked really and normal reward systems don’t work. I am at my wits end.

Another one feeling in complete despair atm.

Have a DS 11 - has a diagnosis of ADHD and ODD, on the wait list for ASD assessment as PDA strongly suspected.

Im a single parent ( have another child) and honestly reaching the point where I don’t feel I can cope with him. Every day is just so hard and he’s so horrible to me pretty much all the time - follows me ranting and swearing at me. Am currently downstairs trying not to cry after another episode caused by me asking him to come to bed. Feels relentless and as if I’m being abused in my own home and am just expected to put up with it. Also awful to his sibling.

School is a big issue as he’s significantly nicer in the holidays ( when he also isn’t medicated), much more chilled. But during term time I don’t even really get even the glimpses of the kinder him. He has very little demands placed on him but even then every interaction can so easily become a battle.

arrrgghh just so hard!

I know this is an old thread but I found it and it made me feel a little less alone! I just don’t know how to parent my suspected PDA child. Her thought process is so unusual, I don’t know how to approach anything. If I could be her servant for 24hours a day (without showing any signs of exhaustion or discomfort on my part), she’d be a dream…but I can’t! Sorry, just a bit of a rant. I just can’t see how any of this is manageable.

@Hibbutyhop have you seen Naomi Fisher's new book "When the Naughty Step Makes Things Worse" ? I have only looked at the amazon preview but it looks really good.

Also, does it make any sense if you try to layer her thought process atop of a nervous system which is hypervigilant towards any perceived threat to autonomy?

(If that is gobbledegook I can break it down further).

@Hibbutyhop i am currently research on acupuncture and mctimoney chiropractic for my pda 5 year old. If it’s anxiety and sensory based, both of these things can help him immensely. I just need to find a way to g et him into the treatment ro
and engage with the treatment. Most likely ‘I bet you can’t have these magic needles in for more time than mummy’

I have had both treatments and they helped me immensely .8’am surprised that more isn’t said about how these help manage the symptoms of ASD and PDA.
will keep you posted!

I have logged on today am absolutely burned out my son is now 13 and am in this situation and have nowhere to turn to I can see this post I am struggling to find PDA support for teenagers any suggestions?

@Lostmum2025 try this. She’s really good! Sorry to hear you’re going through a bad time.

https://stan.store/mrsjessietownz

Thank you so much for sharing

@Lostmum2025 Dr Naomi Fisher is a psychologist who does Zoom talks for parents on managing demand avoidance in teens. She has a Facebook page, if you are on social media....