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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Shoe shopping

47 replies

Blossomhill · 17/08/2004 19:05

For some reason dd always plays up in shoe shops, whilst waiting to be fitted. It is so bad that I have bought a pair from Asda as I can't face going. They do not fit properly so I will need to go and get some from Clarks/Startrite after all.
Just wondered if anyone has any tips or advice for a succesful trip. I always avoid busy times but dd still runs around like a lunatic and will not co-operate. TIA

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Caroline5 · 17/08/2004 21:44

Sorry, blossomhill, no tips as I always find shoe shopping a bit tricky with NT dd1 (and in fact all shopping as she has minimal patience!) Last time I managed to choose the busiest time and we were in the shop for an hour!

I expect the assistants are used to 'lively' children especially in the run up to back to school, although this probably doesn't help! Do you usually manage to end up with some shoes? Sorry no help at all but you have my sympathy!

Original poster

blossomhill · 17/08/2004 21:46

Yeah I do. The last time I went dd was running around the shop saying "no thank you" everytime the assistant asked her to stand still to have her feet measured. When we finally had them measured the assistant (deadly serious) turned round and said something like "next time you bring her in please make sure I am not here". To which I replied (and I hate doing this) she has SN's!!!! She just looked down and carried on, the old bag

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Caroline5 · 17/08/2004 22:04

What a baggage ! We have a local Clarks which is very cramped, but there is a better one in a local Mothercare which has a few toys and is more roomy. Maybe you could boycott (sp?) that shop for somewhere else!

Original poster

blossomhill · 17/08/2004 22:07

I wouldn't mind but I was paying £35 for the shoes. They are more than happy to take my money though!!!!

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coppertop · 17/08/2004 22:20

I'm dreading this too! Would it help to split the shoe-buying into two sessions? Maybe try to get dd's feet measured and then take her off for a treat before returning to do the actual choosing of shoes later - or even on another day?

I'll be reading this thread with interest.

Fio2 · 18/08/2004 07:23

my daughter is awful, she crunches up her feet so they cant get the boots on she really hates being measured or anything, no advice just sympathy.

Got to say though I agree with Carioline my NT son is nightmare aswell and always ends up with the most hideous shoes because HE has to pick them

Davros · 18/08/2004 08:44

Coppertop's idea to split the task up is a good one. I can't believe that old witch had no experience of an SN child. My sil and bil were in the children's shoe business for nearly 30 years and they regularly had kids with SN in their shop and got to recognise the signs and then to know the families and see them for years. I would take someone with me too and try to find a small local shoe shop where they have some experience of SN, how you find that out I don't know apart from asking other parents. Also don't go at peak times (obvious I know). I'm lucky, sil and bil measure DS's feet at home and then go and get the shoes for me and only ask me for cost price! I've often thought about asking them to do a group session with my friends to at least measure the kids' feet...

Original poster

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 09:24

Davros - Now how handy would that be to have a Mobile service for everything such as shoe measuring, doctors, dentists, hairdressers etc the list is endless.....

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Davros · 18/08/2004 09:38

Yes, I am toying with suggesting some sort of "grooming" session to my son's school, for parents to get together with staff and have a go at nail cutting, hair cutting, teeth brushing etc.

Fio2 · 18/08/2004 09:59

they used to cut my daughters hair at her special school for 2.50 because most parents couldnt get anyone to do it, or it was too difficult iykwim

frogs · 18/08/2004 12:34

I've often wondered whether it's possible to get your hands on a proper Start-rite foot gauge to use at home. I'm sure start-rite wouldn't condone it, but measuring feet can't be rocket science, surely?

Vertbaudet sell a footgauge, but don't know how well their sizes correspond to other makes of shoe.

heartinthecountry · 18/08/2004 12:55

Judging from some of the shoe shop staff I've encountered I would imagine that pretty much anyone could measure a foot using one of those guages .

heartinthecountry · 18/08/2004 13:01

Sorry, that's no help.

I kept putting off dd's first visit to buy proper shoes because I was dreading the moment when they said "get her to stand up in them to see if they fit" and I would have to say "she can't stand, she's disabled". Sounds silly but that is actually the first time I ever said that to a complete stranger and I have to admit my heart was thumping as I said it.

Irrelevant to this conversation I know, but kind of in keeping with the whole dread of 'services'.

hmb · 18/08/2004 13:10

My ds is not sn but always has a major met down in shoe shops. It has taken 3 visit to get him fitted before now.

Advice that has been given on MN in the past, go 'off peak' times (no easy I know), phone in advance and warn them of the possible probelms. Tell the 'fitter' up front that there will be probelms and how best to deal with them. For example I always tell then there is no point in trying to 'cheer' ds out of his paddy, it just adds fuel to the flames. In the end we have to get the shoes on the feet, so lets go for it!

But it is damn grim and I do sympathise.

coppertop · 18/08/2004 13:23

The last time we took ds1 to Clarks the assistant insisted that he had to be measured on one of their machines, even though all the other little children were being measured with the ordinary gauge. I was fairly sure that he wouldn't stay still long enough for the machine to work properly (Idoubt any 3yr old would, never mind one with an ASD) but the assistant was determined to persevere. The poor woman looked ready to cry when, after finally keeping him still the machine wouldn't work because he was too light. Apparently she'd been convinced that he was at least 5 or 6, though she never explained quite why she thought that I would lie about his age!

acnebride · 18/08/2004 14:06

Maybe ring Clark's head office and ask for their advice - why should you have to do all the thinking? Can they provide you with a gauge for home use, or tell you which measurements to take and what they mean?

lou33 · 18/08/2004 14:11

I avoid clarks like the plague for all my kids. Last time I went in there to get one of them measured, using aforementioned foot machine, the assistant came out with completely different sizes to the one she said was correct. I asked her why she is bringing out other sizes when the machine said differently, and she said, the machine was only a guide to know where to start. So basically it's useless and they end up guessing anyway, or they want you to buy what stock they have left, and not the size you need.

dinosaur · 18/08/2004 14:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 16:13

Good ideas acnebride and dinosaur! Glad to hear that your ds is better in shops. Little things make life so much easier son't they?

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Original poster

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 16:15

One other thing that bugs me about clarks is that they NEVER have the size I want for either dd or ds so I end with shoes I don't particularly like

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maddiemo · 18/08/2004 17:05

I seem to have been lucky with my local Clarks. I have four ds's and always find shoe buying stressful and expensive.

I always go at a quiet time, usually opening time in school term time. The children may be slighty late for school but it is worth it imo.
Ds3(autistic)gets distressed by having a change of shoe style so we always try to buy the samealthough recently he has accepted trainers with different colour sticthing.{} I usually say to the staff that he does not like anything different. The on the ball staff usually pick up on this and realise that he has sn. He also finds it hard to follow the "walk across the room" type of instructions. I tend to say he has learning difficulties or problems with understanding rather than sn as I find older staff understand this more.
Ds4 is a real handful in the shoe shop at the moment and I usually warn them that he will not sit still or cooperate, again my Clarks have always been pretty good and know the boys now.

BH,I would try talking it through with your dd and give her verbal warnings if she understands. 'Two more minutes play dd and then sit down, shoes' Then count down the last ten seconds. Also maybe role play shoe shops and how to behave in them at home before you go.
Good luck

Original poster

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 17:07

Thanks Maddiemo, your advice was really helpful

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acnebride · 18/08/2004 19:08

one more - i sent an email about this to \link{www.startrite.co.uk\Startrite and part of the reply is:
'There is a mail order option, normally suggested to people who live a long way from a stockist, or abroad. If you let me have your address, I will post you the details, which include a cardboard measuring gauge, and explanation of how to measure'. So may be worth trying asking them about this option.

Original poster

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 19:14

Thank you so much acnebride. That was so kind of you to go to so much trouble. It is definitely an option worth considering

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acnebride · 18/08/2004 19:26

no trouble. Today i got the time of my antenatal group meet up completely wrong and missed it, so wanted to do something to make me feel less cr*p. Also it amazes me how difficult businesses make it to give them your money - enormous amounts of it in shoe shops too.

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