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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Major Buggy, do people stare??

43 replies

anniebear · 16/08/2004 12:21

Hiya

I am new to Mumsnet and have spent the last few evenings reading through months of postings!!

My Daughter Ellie nearly 3 has Special needs and we have just spoken to the OT about getting her a Major Buggy.

She is walking and it isn't obvious to people that she has special needs.

When reading through the posts a few of you were saying about people string and rude comments that people say (unbelievably ignorant people!)
What I wanted to ask was, Do many of you find people do stare a lot when pushing the Major buggy?

I am a self conscious person anyway and the thought of people staring or making comments is upsetting.

Can't believe some of the comments some of you have had.

I would like to think I would give somebody a mouthful but most probably would end up going home and crying!

OP posts:

lou33 · 16/08/2004 13:57

I find more people stare now ds2 has a wheelchair, with the major it was more a case of a double take, because it looks like a huge buggy, and people wonder why a child that age needs to be wheeled. It did get to me at first tbh, but I don't let it now.

Interestingly I have found that with the major, people would look ,look away then look again, usually saying nothing, but now he has his wheelchair, people are much more open wrt looking. The difference is they usually give ds and me a huge smile, and try to engage us in conversation as well!

Dingle · 16/08/2004 13:58

Anniebear, I have only been visiting MN for a week or two myself- it is totally addictive and such a great source of info for me. I have a ds(NT)of nearly 5 and a dd of 2.9, who has Down Syndrome. My dd although walking,does have trouble getting around and is rapidly outgrowing most standard buggies, we have pestered about being refer to an OT and also to the wheelchair clinic for an application for a major buggy. I have just had a phone call last week to establish her height, weight... for the buggy application. I too have my concerns about the major, mainly that it won't fit in my car, but the way I see is that I don't really have any other options. If dd needs one to help her in getting out and about then I will have to work something out.
As for what other people think, just say so what! I know that is sometimes easier said than done, there are some very rude, ignorant people out there but why should that affect you and your dd's lifestyle.
If getting a major buggy will enable you to be more mobile, do more as a family, or help in any way, then go for it and worry about the odd look from an ignorant passer by if and when it happens.

Fio2 · 16/08/2004 14:01

I have a confession I usually 'stare' at other kids in major buggies because my daughter has one aswell! i am awful. For what its worth, even in a normal buggy people begin to stare because my daughter is so big for it, - the major is easier. It is easier to push and it doesnt really matter at the end of the day if people do 'stare' because she has special needs and it doesnt matter if people know that or not. Does that make sense?

Original poster

anniebear · 16/08/2004 21:15

Yes, I shall confess to a quick peep!! Only cause I am interested what the buggy is like!!!!

Thanks for all your replies xx

OP posts:

frogs · 16/08/2004 22:04

I confess that I have done that 'double take' thing that lou describes with major buggies, before I found out what they were.

I think it's because there aren't very many of them around -- you get so used to passing ordinary sized buggies in the street, that you don't really 'see' them, IYKWIM, whereas when you pass one that is half as big again, it makes you start, pretty much as if you suddenly passed (say) a letter box that was twice as big as a usual one.

With a letter box of course you could gawp like an eejit without offending anyone, whereas with a major buggy you get all embarrassed that the parent will think you're staring at the child in it, whereas in fact you're just trying to work out why your addled brain is hallucinating an outsize child's buggy.

As lou describes, with a wheelchair you can immediately see what it is, and can get on with talking to the parent/child without having to wonder whether your eyes are playing tricks.

Does that make sense?

lou33 · 16/08/2004 22:10

Frogs, we have had parents coming up to us in the past asking where they too could get such a big buggy!

frogs · 16/08/2004 22:31

lou, what did you say?

Me, I can't see why someone would want to push around a child that size if they didn't have to. But you do see some hoofing great lardy NT children being wheeled around in buggies, so maybe that's where the market is headed -- I noticed recently that school uniform websites now sell trousers with euphemistically-named 'plus sized waists'. Perhaps the two are connected...

lou33 · 16/08/2004 22:34

I think they thought it was the equivalent of a ladnrover for buggies! I just said it was a sn buggy as ds was too small for a wheelchair. They wandered off looking a bit embarrassed.

marmet0 · 18/08/2004 10:03

Hi my daughter 8 and uses a maclaren major buggy people can be so ignorant, and yes gets me so cross and my daughter is getting that age feeling bit conscious of the fact she uses a buggy coz her legs people do stare and i have had comments like "thats a big pram " and can be upsetting i never use the word pram, does an 8 year old want to hear pram at her age its a buggy or wheelchair even freinds has anoyed me when they have sad "come on in your pram " then i say its a buggy isnt it or wheelchair to give a bit of comfort and reasure her thats its ok its not a pram.
I dont think alot of the public know that disabled children or special needs childrens do have feelings and they know whats going on , people think they see a child in a big buggy they dont understand that its just there legs are bad , thats when ignorance comes in when a childs special needs they automaticaly think the word ( spastic still )yes it horrible word and i hate it give special needs children some credit i say .Its like my daughter she will try do without the buggy then asking go in it when her legs get so tired but if i say do you want your buggy its no so she tries do without it but after a while asking go in it.But thanks to mumsnet least we can share things on here together

marmet0 · 18/08/2004 10:20

i am 16 but i weigh 8 stones, so i use a maclaren major buggy still, but getting a wheelchair very soon, just these buggies go up to small adults thats what my mum been told by the wheelchair services but its the old 1 and getting rickerty now so it doesnt bother me too much now and haveing seen a lad who was 15 in the major buggy least i know some 1 uses 1 same age as me yes you do get some looks from people and some teenagers can be quiet horrible too, remarks they make but after a while you just ignore the remarks and think its there loss and i even thought how would you feel being in here . buggy, wheelchair ,pushchair just something to get around in i suppose so it doesnt matter what its called . yes i use to be concious and feel like second class if thats the right word, but i do not let it bother me know thanks to all mumsnet members
love debbie xx

Fio2 · 18/08/2004 10:28

debbie is that you mum who has posted before you?

viva · 18/08/2004 11:01

yes

viva · 18/08/2004 11:04

how you guess my mum lol!!!

Fio2 · 18/08/2004 11:12

its because you forgot to change you name back and it confused me for about 5 mins!

viva · 18/08/2004 11:15

sorry i no it was my mums fault not mine

meea · 21/08/2004 20:49

Have been considering buying a major buggy for my son.He is 2 and although he can walk he has to work hard so he gets tired really easily and starts to loose co ordination and then falls over all the time.He is a big lad and is heavy for his age and his 3 wheeler is groaning and looks like it is going to fall to pieces any minute.Does any one know where you can buy them second hand .Would he be to small for one yet.

lou33 · 21/08/2004 21:54

A major would still fit, for a good few years. Have you asked ot be referred to wheelchair services, so they can assesss your needs? They would probably give you a major if your son needs one, would save you time, effort and money then.

lou33 · 21/08/2004 21:55

Forgot to say ebay sometimes have them.

lou33 · 21/08/2004 21:57

Old style major here , and new style one here

Hth.

vicimelly · 21/08/2004 22:38

anniebear I was probably one of those people who's post you have read regarding awful comments.
My dd has been in a major for a short while now,I am also one of those people who are quite self concious and the thought of having people staring worried me too.
Unfortunately on my very first outing with mine I encountered a very narrow minded and inconsiderate individual who upset me a lot.
I have to say though after I mustered the courage to go out again! no-one has made such horrid comments, and yes people do, do a double take, but as a previous poster has said this really is because it's something they've never seen before. I have actually met quite a few wonderful people who were very interested in dd and have taken the time to ask me about her, her condition etc. These people have left me feeling wondeful and I'm sure there are more of them about than the stupid negative people!
I think I was quite lucky in that I had a bad experience so early on, I have learnt from it and am quite sure I would know how to deal with it, if I ever had to again.
Anyway apart from all the rambling! lol What I wanted to say is I felt exactly the same as you to start with, my fears were initially confirmed by a very stupid woman, but I now know she is a very small minority Don't worry about it! lol

Original poster

anniebear · 22/08/2004 09:42

Thanks vicimelly
I am terribly self concious, can't beleive that people can be so rude

OP posts:

viva · 22/08/2004 17:58

Yes you do get it people dont think like me just my legs is the problem and i understand when something is sed, like many others that have to use these buggies. was the remark about the buggy vicimelly, usually you look " disabled pram " is often heard and that anoys me babies go in prams im not a baby yes people are rude annie bear but this site is so nice for people to share things tho which helps me thanks xx

viva · 22/08/2004 18:01

Yer the new major buggies are so cool and more comfy as well, mines old 1 tho but it helps putting a blanket on the seat as it can get hot and sticky in the summer months, but im hoping get wheelchair soon

Jollymum · 22/08/2004 19:34

Viva, good to hear from you again, how's it going? We "spoke" ages ago and you need to keep in touch. Let us know what you're doing, it would be good to hear a teen's point of view sometimes, as all I get out of mine are "....grunt...)!!

chonky · 23/08/2004 21:23

I saw my first major buggy today, or at least the first I've ever noticed after having read this thread. I didn't know what one was until the other day.
What I'm trying to say is I expect the majority of people never give them a second glance and it's only a few narrow-minded people who make rude comments. I hope I didn't gawp too much, but it's just that I had to do a second take to see if it actually was one!

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