Sooo, is this pretty common on the spectrum...

[Blossom4538]

My Dd struggles with emotion/affection. I think she has only once or twice said she loves me (she’s 7).

So tonight, I hugged her gently at bedtime and told her how much I love her - she responded by head butting me away!

Not the first time. I don’t usually get too soppy as I know she struggles with it. I pushed it a little tonight...

Is this typical Aspergers traits/hfa behaviour in regards to emotions/affection?

Yep. I think it's where the "refrigerator mom" concept came from - it was thought non-affectionate mothers affected their children who then displayed autistic tendencies. Whereas IME I cannot hug my autistic child because he hates it, so I don't try.

On the plus side when he does chose to show affection it's bloody brilliant

I have learnt I have to wait for ds to initiate anything like that.

I sometimes ask him if I can give him a hug (normally if he is wound up and I think getting the Deep pressure will help) but mainly I wait for him to initiate