Image consent when physical disability apparent

[littlepinkmouseofsugar]

I just got the forms for our child starting school and there are oodles of consent things - they have certainly become more paranoid and tightened things up re image consent since our oldest started...

Anyhow there is a whole list of 8 circumstances re photos on the form eg can your child appear in photos on the school website, on the school electronic record, on posters/print outs etc internally in communal areas at school, in class photos, on the prospectus, externally eg local newspaper etc...

I feel torn as we never had issue with this for our other children but the relevant child here has a disability which at this point in time means it's visible and we do get other kids asking him why he looks like this at preschool or class mates of his siblings also ask about it/what's wrong with him as it is noticeable.

In the future a prosthesis may be made that makes it less apparent, but while he is little this isn't the case. I suppose we are concerned that photos may mean he could be targeted and pointed out by other children as being different and also if on websites, prospectus etc then photos can be shared or around for a long time so again cause issues when older re teasing.

Am I being too overly protective or sensible here? Not really sure as I feel mean saying no to being in an all class photo and if by chance he does something amazing and is in the paper... it's a def no to the internet though.

My DC has an obvious physical difference, and to be honest I just signed the forms without giving it a second thought. However it is my son's hand that is affected (and it does look very different) so it is often not obvious in photos. I'm not totally comfortable with all the images of kids on the internet (and any obvious physical difference makes your child more identifiable) but I wouldn't want him to feel as though he was being "hidden away" as ideally I would like him to grow up feeling comfortable in his own skin.

Have you met with the school/reception class teacher to discuss your DC starting school? The reason I mention this is because my son had a much more difficult start to school than I had expected with a huge amount of interest in his hand from the other kids. Not teasing as such (and of course it is natural for kids to be curious and ask questions) but quite overwhelming for DS and not all of it kind. I know it is not what you want to hear, but in hindsight, I think that the school could have done more to help. If I could go back in time, I would be more proactive with the school, but his reception teacher did not want to discuss it with me at all! (I think we were unlucky, as his other teachers have been great, I'm sure your DC's experience will be better.)

There is some useful stuff on the Changing Faces website about physical difference that is applicable to other visible disabilities as well as faces!

I would also be careful that by not letting him be in the photos with his peers you give him the impression (completely unintentionally or course) that his disability is something to be embarrassed about.

Thanks, that's really helpful to get other people's take on the situation. Landofgiants, good suggestion re talking with the teacher. Have a transition day next week so will try and corner her then.

In the end we've ticked yes for some photos ie class dvd and annual photos that would be a shame not to be in and also a nightmare or the school to leave him out of, and no for ones on the school website/internet, prospectus and ones around inside the school that might get children pointing out/teasing if not a flattering shot. We will review annually I think in case things change.

I can totally understand the apprehension, there's a very real chance that saying yes to everything means your son becomes the schools poster child for inclusiveness and he will be photographed at every opportunity.

If you say yes do you have the right to get them to remove photos from a website when he is older and can decide for himself?
That is to say, you giving permission at 4, but he decided he doesn't like people seeing him when he's 7, do you have to right to ask for removal of old photos?

Thanks, very good point re inclusiveness poster child, I'd not thought of that! Will keep that one in mind for the future as well. We said no re school website and external publicity/prospectus etc, no for outside newspapers/tv.

Def agree re internet. I don't post photos of our children on facebook for that reason anyway, as I'm of the opinion they may resent that in the future. I know of friends who puts pics of their child in the bath, in bed, naked in the garden etc and all sorts which is cute but surely as a teen or young adult you'd feel embarrassed about these if they were found by peers, potential employers etc.

The only photos we agreed on are the ones that are purchase type things - dvd of nativity show and whole class photo. Unlikely they will end up on internet I hope... and usually it's classmate's parents who buy these and pop away in a drawer so less of an issue re being widely distributed I hope.

I always wanted my physically disabled child to be treated in the same way as all her classmates so her photos were used in the same way as everyone else's. Her walking aids, speech aids and splint were often visible. This caused no issues as these things were visible to her classmates and parents everyday. It was lovely to have photographs of her being included in such an everyday school setting.

my dd is missing half her forearm and hand, we have never treated her any different, she has had all the school photos done, appeared in the local newspaper and recently on a promotion poster for Anglia Water for their "Girls in engineering" campaign, it has never worried her and at age 11 she is doing amazing things.