Can you help me with asburgers? (sorry really, really bad spelling!)

[jennijo]

I've got a friend who's mil had said that friends dd seems a bit odd and might have this condition. She's really cross that she has suggested this and its a tricky situation, as I can't tell her I think it too. I'm not an expert, but I'm sure something isn't quite right. What should she be looking for? Are there signs that are common in all children with this. Thanks for your help.

Do you mean Aspergers?

Children with AS aren't all the same but the main things seem to be:

• needs routine and dislikes change

• problems with social skills and interaction

• sometimes sensory problems, eg hates noise or bright lights, doesn't like clothes that 'itch', only eats certain foods (because of appearance, texture, smell etc)

• Language usually within a fairly normal time scale but can sound odd or quirky (my 2 sound as though they've learned English as a 2nd language)

• Often very bright

This is only a very general description though so there may be some things that don't fit the picture at all.

How old is your friend's dd?

Try this link here to see if anything sounds familiar.

Thanks, yes, I do mean Aspergers. Sorry if I offended, I know nothing about this at all.

She is 4. She just seems not to be on the same level as other 4 year olds. I know all kids develop differently, but what bothers me is she doesn't seem to be able to just walk anywhere, always bouncing along on tippy toes and clumsy. Wont interact with adults and has the most terrible tantrums when she can't get what she wants. Forgive me, if it sounds completely wrong, but if there is a problem, I can't help thinking that friend should take action before dd gets to school in January. God knows how I would tell her though.
The speech thing sounds familiar too.

Not offended in the slightest. I just put the proper spelling in in case you wanted to google for more info.

From your description I think alarm bells would be ringing for me too. Does she go to a pre-school/nursery? Did the staff notice anything?

That was my problem - I couldn't spell it! Yes, she does go to preschool and they have recently suggested that the tendons in her heels are too short, so maybe she should take her to the doctor!

Thanks for the link. I am concerned now. Just realised whilst reading it, that she isn't happy if routines are changed either How on earth can I throw this into conversation. Do I suggest to her or do I leave it to the school when she gets there in January?

It's a difficult situation. Was she genuinely angry when her MIL suggested it or was it a thinly disguised 'MIL has said this - do you think she might be right?' question? It the former then I think you might have to leave it up to the school and then try to be there for her as a friend if/when it all comes out. What was her reaction to the suggestion about talking to the doctor about tendon problems?

Think she was quite put out that someone could suggest such a thing. I asked her if she had taken her to the doctors and she said, she watched her over the weekend and she wasn't doing it anymore! I saw her this morning and she certainly was jumping along the road like a lamb on tip toes. I have a feeling she is burying her head in the sand. She's a very emotional person and doesn't take critisism or comments well, so I think I'd better keep out of it, unless she mentions it again and then I'll do what I can. Thanks for your help.

jennijo

I hope this woman does get her head out of the sand soon because her attitude will not help her daughter or her at all. Denial though is a very powerful thing; it will probably need the school to tell the Mum straight that her daughter is being disruptive etc in class for her to do anything. School won't be at all easy either if she is on the autistic spectrum and has no support or diagnosis. It will only get worse for her daughter if nothing is done.

Many schools and AS (if this is indeed the case with your friend's daughter) are sometimes not happy bedfellows. Many schools do not display much understanding.