Please would someone be kind enough to check my reply to DLA ?

[Chocol8]

sorry to be banging on about this yet again but please can you tell me if the following letter is ok - all suggestions welcome. I took bits and pieces from everywhere. Before I send it, (which needs to be very soon) please could you tell me if it is correct?
Thanks in advance. x

Dear Ms XXXXXXX

I write in reply to your letter dated 10th August 2004 (XXXXXX). I was recently refused DLA for my son XXXXXX. I received notification by post and was informed that I should appeal by completing form GL24 which could be obtained from Job Centre Plus. I called them and requested a form but to date, have never received it. I then called DLA and requested the form from them which did arrive.

Wanting to know in more detail why my son had been refused DLA, I called the helpline number and was given the reasons for his refusal.

It is unclear as to where this information came from as it seemed very vague and on the whole, the majority of it is untrue. I was told that my son was “responding well to medication and is a lot calmer, that his speech and academic work is good, that he plays well in games and p.e. that he has good self-care, and good road safety which is age appropriate”. I was also told that my six year old son self medicates Ritalin.

Because p.e and games were mentioned, I am assuming that the school wrote a report which I did not receive a copy of (I requested a copy of my original DLA form from May). Along with the copy of the DLA form, I also received a copy of the letter that his Consultant Dr. XXXX had written, but there was nothing to indicate that there was a second report. I will be speaking to my son’s school when he returns on 2nd September to see if they can shed any light on this matter.

It seems that the details of the DLA form and that of the Consultant have been totally overlooked in favour of the as yet unseen second report. For this reason, I have requested a Reconsideration, as I feel strongly that my son is indeed entitled to DLA.

For the record, I would like to address the points raised in the decision. It is a fact that XXXXX NEEDS Ritalin to be able to lead a more “normal” life (he is currently on 10mg, 3 times a day) and to cope with everyday life. It is the ONLY reason he is still attending mainstream school as prior to his diagnosis, he was at the stage where he was going to be excluded from two nursery schools and his current school. The school is more able to deal with him now ONLY because he is taking Ritalin.

His speech and academic work has always been very good, however when the Ritalin wears off, it is a completely different story. Since starting school, he has been allocated a teaching assistant because of his needs as although he is a bright child academically, he lacks the social interaction skills that “normal” children have. He is now allowed to play games and p.e. at school – in his foundation year, they could not cope with his persistent hyperactivity and excluded him from all physical lessons.

I have to help XXXXX with his self care, although he does like to have a hand in it, I cannot let him do this by himself. His road awareness is atrocious. He could easily run out into the road if not restrained, and given that he self harms, this is a real concern.

Lastly, I was told that he self medicates…perhaps this is an issue that I should take up with Social Services? Depending on whether he is at school, at home or in the care of his childminder after school, he is GIVEN the tablet to place in his mouth by an adult or it is placed in his mouth. He is then watched whilst he swallows it with water to make sure he has taken it. At no time has he EVER self medicated and never will. With or without his special needs, he is a child of six and as such will never be given the chance to self medicate. (Only myself, his childminder and one of two assistants at his school are allowed to medicate XXXXX, and everything is logged fully at school and his childminders.) I would also like to point out that medicating my son with a drug such as Ritalin was not an easy decision to make and I resisted it for a long time and spoke to other parents whose children take it, but unfortunately it is the only option available to me, as without it, my sons life would be unbearable.

I was requested to enclose “evidence” of XXXXX’s disabilities which include photocopies of his Family Fund form, a school diary – prior to Ritalin – and the report from his Consultant (prior to Dr XXXX), Dr XXXXXX MBBS MRCP MRCPCH, before she went on Maternity Leave.

He was referred by Dr XXXXX to XXXXXXX at CAHMS for his self harming behaviour which we attend once or twice a month. Whilst we have been attending, no progress has been made with regard to his self harming or his violent behaviour.

To conclude, my son cannot be categorised simply as a child with special needs – he suffers from ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome and as such needs special attention, love and patience, 24 hours a day. His behaviour can be extremely aggressive either toward me or to himself and he has harmed himself and me on many, many occasions.

For the reasons stated above I would like you to review his case please. If you have any queries or require further help, please contact me via the following numbers: XXXXXXXXXXXX.

Many thanks
Yours sincerely

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi Chocol8. Not got any experience re:DLA claim so you will probably get some better advice in the morning but here goes:

I would be far more specific as to the amount of time you/a carer needs to supervise him, and the type of self-care that you have to help him with, and the type of self-harming behaviour that ds is prone to, and cross-reference this back to where you have written about it in the forms. I would also flag up what exactly ds' response is to Ritalin - i.e that it improves some areas, but not others.Also does the Ritalin wear off at any point in the day, and if so, say what effect that has. I would also put more detail as to why he has been allocated a learning assistant. I realise that this will be to some extent repeating what's in the forms, but think that it will be helpful.

Thanks Mummytosteven, yes looking back I can see that what I wrote last night was not factual enough - and I was feeling a bit emotional which didn't help, thanks - I will rewrite with the facts and not my feelings. x

Message withdrawn

Chocol8 I would also ask them to define what they consider 'self medicate' to involve. I cannot imagine any child of six would be capable of this. The hours per day and per week of care needed should have been included on the original application so perhaps send a photocopy with these highlighted.

Hi chocol8 - agree, think what you've written is great but as MtS suggests, I would give even more detail, esp re: self harming, supervision needed at all times when out and about and ritalin. Referring back to the form is a good idea.
Also, does he need any attention at night? Even if its just that he wakes up and you have to settle him again. If so, this is definitely worth mentioning. Good Luck!

Bump

chocol8

I take it that your ds was not examined by a BA doctor? If so, that could be the source of the second report. There would not have been an examination without your knowlege and consent. IME they dont really examine kids.

I think its fine. As I said before, if you came to see me with the case you have, I'd most certainly encourage you to appeal.

BTW, if you appeal you will see all the papers that they used to make their decision.

Does he have a statement? If he does, put that in. If not, they are going to want to know why not. The extra teaching assistant would sugest that he has one. If it is generally helpful, you could send in the SEN report.

I think that if you are aiming to get this sorted at the reconsideration stage, you need to add the following information:

1. Does he get up at night (more than average 6 yo) ? How many times? How long for? Do you have to be with him? Why?
2. Does he require more attention or supervision than the average 6 year old? Why? What do you or others have to do for him?
3. What is his speech like? Is extra effort (prompting, concentration) needed by others to understand him/ get him to speak?
4. How often is he self harming? Detail what you or others have to do to stop the behaviour.
5. How often is he violent and who is he violent to? What action do you or others have to take?
6. Does he need help to play?

give times per day, days per week etc. also-does he have any older siblings or have you got experiemce of other 6 year olds? you need to show that he needs more attention supervision etc than av 6 yr old. comparisnds can be useful.

give as nuch detail as possible. one problem tho with tribunals and ba is that they often disregard a lot of what mothers say if they think they are being pushy, overprotective etc. its not right but there you go. its the reason why you will probably end up needing to appeal.

It sound like you are giving it a really good shot. Best of luck. Keep posting and let us know what happens.

Bump

Thanks everyone for your replies - and thanks for not falling asleep half way through, it was quite a long letter. Aaaannnddd, it's about to get a helluva lot longer now!

Mergle - what is a BA doctor? I haven't heard of that before. He was originally dx by a Consultant at the local hospital.

He is not statemented because academically he is very good so they won't do it. He has a classroom assistant that he shares with another boy who has special needs of some kind - not sure he has been dx yet. I am not sure that he will have the same help next term though as he certainly won't be having his old assistant who was fantastic. He is however on the Special Needs register.

He doesn't get up at night any more than a normal 6 year old, although he has to take Melatonin as he doesn't get to sleep well and wakes about 6-6.30am. His speech is fantastic, but then he gets a lot of practice...he's forever talking.

He self harms generally when he can't have his own way - to do something or have something. He has always done this. He harms me for the same reason and although he is only 6, he has the strength of double that - those of you with ADHD children will know this...it stuns me everytime. Even when I was a stone heavier, he could lift me off him whilst restraining him. Would photos of bite marks help to show what he is capable of?

He is a real Jeckyl and Hyde character - you never know when he is going to blow. His cousin whom we see regularly does not need the same level of care, so it has always been handy to be able to compare them.

I will make another attempt tonight. By the way, he takes on average an hour and alot of cajoling to eat his lunch and tea - should I include that too?

xx

Chocol8 - include anything and everything. An hour of cajoling on a regular basis to eat lunch and tea will eat incredibly into your day.

Hope this is in time.......another good way to explain how much time you have to invest each day in his care "over and above that expected with a typical 6yr old" (use that phrase alot)- is to include a 'typical' DAY IN THE LIFE OF MY SON type diary....i did this both as a schoolday and a weekend day.
I won't go through it all here .....but gladly send it to you etc.....but in short i did this kind of thing.....though this is how he is NOW...how he was at 9 was a bit diffeerent-he is more physically disruptive now.

SCHOOLDAY
7am he wakes up.
7.05-7.10 i give him ADHD medication
7.10-7.15 he goes to the toilet and i have to clean the toilet due to his difficulties co-ordinating his wee.
7.20- 7.30 he watches t.v-
7.30 his brothers join him
7.35 i have to intervene and separate the boys(arguements/fights)
7.35-7.45 talk about what his behaviour was just like and calm down whoever he has hurt
7.45- cups of tea-in lidded cup- reminding him to hold it tighter/not wave it around
7.50 serve breakfast
7.55-8.05 remind him to eat (often promting like 'pick up your spoon etc)
8.10- Take him to a quiet room-t.v OFF/no distractions -hand him his clothes - layered in the order he needs to put them onthem on-
8.20 check progress of him dressing (whilst supervising other 2 boys dressing)
8.25 help him finish dressing
(his medication has usually 'kicked in ' by now so he will often go very quiet - and is then easily upset by his brothers. This lasts for an hour or so)
8.30- make sure he has bag/lunch and appropriate coat/footwear etc (otherwise he will not have anyof it- or else be in a thick winter jacket on a hot day- or have sandals on when it is raining)
8.35 take him and brothers to school

main advice is .....If the child genuinely ONLY 'sometimes' needs help then ofcourse you tell the truth and you use the word 'SOMETIMES'.....BUT IF LIKE THOMAS 'most' DAYS YOU HAVE FOR EXAMPLE....'SELF HARMING/VIOLENCE/RUDENESS/SOCIAL SKILL 'INTERACTION' PROBLEMS/TEMPERS/DEPRESSION ETC...to name but a few then YOU MUST USE WORDS LIKE

.....he always......
.....usually.....
......i have to.....
......i must......
......unless i do xxxxx he will not be able to do xxxxx

see what i mean......

eg at lunch today tom had been 'eating' his lunch for 40 mins- so i ended up cutting up and feeding him the last mouthfulls.....now he will be 11 in december- and is able to use a knife and fork....however he HAS TO BE EITHER CONTINUALLY REMINDED TO EAT OR FED.....and as far as DLA goes

A TYPICAL 10.5YR OLD WOULD .....
a) eat their meal unaided
b) take about 15 mins maximum
c) not need reminding
d)not be as distracted
e)WOULD NOT TOLERATE BEING FED

SO FOR ME- WITH MY

'VERY TYPICAL LOOKING SON'

I have to assist with very 'trivial' things and in very 'tiny' ways....but it is constant- day in day out....and it took filling in the DLA forms to make me realise how much time these 'tiny' interventions add up to in each day

Somedays i feel guilty about the difference between how 'disabled' my son is 'compared' to a physically disabled person- i am thanful that my son can get out of bed/toilet himself/make his own drinks/attempt snacks/dress himself/and in many ways be independant....however it's when i 'examine' this independance closely that i see how 'different' he is to another 10 yr old who doesn't NEED a carer- as thomas spends his day living in what he feels an 'indapendant way'....there is me 'shadowing him....mopping up spills......apologising to people on his behalf.....fixing things he breaks......interpreting the confusion around him into order and then i see (sometimes!) that my asperger's/ADHD son may be at the 'mild' end of the disability spectrum ....but HE IS DISABLED.

So- chocol8....if you have already written to the DLA.....and i have mentioned things which help and you wish you had said more----then WRITE ANOTHER ' additional' LETTER.....IF YOU COULKD HAVE SEEN MY dla FORMS....I HAD WRITTEN IN THE BOXES....AROUND THE BOXES....UNDER AND ABOVE THE BOXES....I RAMBLED AND I WANDERED ALL OVER THE PLACE- ADDING NOTES ON POST-IT NOTES IN THE END......i made sure they had so much info that they would feel they REALLY KNEW MY SON.

GO FOR IT GIRL

!!!!!!
xx

Just wanted to say MrsF that I think that is a brilliant post and great way of highlighting just how much more care your ds needs than an NT child. I think sometimes it is easy to forget just how different looking after a child with SN can be because we just do it every day. It's life.

Wow, thanks MrsF - you are not too late and what you have written is so good. I have been carrying my draft letter around with me since the other day, adding bits and taking bits off.

Here is where I am up to to date: it now runs to 3 pages of 11pt text but I have tried to make it as easy as I can to read and address the problems one by one by numbering them and then putting extra information at the bottom.

Do you think this is better?

I write in reply to your letter dated 10th August 2004 (xxxxx). I was recently refused DLA for my son XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX. I received notification by post and was informed that I should appeal by completing form GL24 which could be obtained from Job Centre Plus. I called them and requested a form but to date, have never received it. I then called DLA and requested the form which did arrive.

Wanting to know in more detail why my son had been refused DLA, I called the helpline number and was given the reasons for his refusal.

It is unclear as to where this information came from as it seemed very vague and on the whole, the majority of it is untrue. I was told that:

1. my son was “responding well to medication and is a lot calmer

2. that his speech and academic work is good

3. that he plays well in games and p.e.

4. that he has good self-care

5. has “good road safety which is age appropriate”

6. I was also told that my six year old son self medicates Ritalin.

Because p.e and games were mentioned, I am assuming that the school wrote a report which I did not receive a copy of (I requested a copy of my original DLA form from May). Along with the copy of the DLA form, I also received a copy of the form that his Consultant XXXXXX had completed, but there was nothing to indicate that there was a second report. I will be speaking to my son’s school when he returns on 2nd September to see if they can shed any light on this matter.

It seems that the details of the DLA form and that of the Consultant have been totally overlooked in favour of the as yet unseen second report. For this reason, I have requested a Reconsideration, as I feel strongly that my son is indeed entitled to DLA.

For the record, I would like to address the points raised in the decision:

1. It is a fact that XXXXXX NEEDS Ritalin to be able to lead a more “normal” life (he is currently on 10mg, 3 times a day). It is the ONLY reason he is still attending mainstream school as prior to his diagnosis, he was at the stage where he was going to be excluded from two previous nurseries and indeed his current school. The school is more able to deal with him now but ONLY because he is taking Ritalin. The rule – “three strikes and your out” was stretched to breaking point but only because I was in the process of getting a diagnosis. If I hadn’t, he would have been excluded after a great many incidents including his classroom assistant getting kicked very hard in the nose, his teacher being bitten on the hip and having to remove him – taking up to three adults on occasions - from the classroom.

2. His speech and academic work has always been very good, however when the Ritalin wears off, it is a completely different story. He is unable to concentrate at all, is very easily distracted and will roam the classroom unable to stay still – disrupting the whole class. When not on his Ritalin, he becomes very violent either to himself or to me, biting, punching, kicking, spitting, head butting and scratching. He throws furniture and is extremely strong for his age as children with ADHD often are.

3. He is now allowed to play games and p.e. at school – in his foundation year, they could not cope with his persistent hyperactivity and excluded him from all physical lessons and therefore his first Sports Day. I had to attend a school visit to the zoo (taking a days annual leave) to take XXXXXXX as they couldn’t cope with him in the group as he was very demanding and hyperactive. If I didn’t take him and care for him, he would have had to miss the school trip. At this time, he was on Ritalin. Before this, his childminder offered to take him on his first school trip as I could not attend due to work commitments.

4. I have to help XXXXXXX with his self care, and although he does like to have a hand in it, I cannot let him do this by himself. He has no concept that he could flood the bathroom or could slip in the bath and seriously injure himself so needs me there constantly.

5. His road awareness is atrocious; he has little comprehension that he could be killed by a car or a lorry. He could easily run out into the road if not restrained, and given that he self harms, this is a real concern. (He has on two occasions, opened the passenger door whilst the car was moving.)

6. Lastly, I was told that he self medicates…if this is the case, then I need to contact Social Services. Depending on whether he is at school, at home or in the care of his childminder after school, an adult GIVES him the tablet to place in his mouth or they place it in his mouth for him. He is then watched whilst he swallows it with water to make sure he has taken it. At no time has he EVER self-medicated. With or without his special needs, he is a child of six and as such will never be given the chance to self medicate. (Only myself, his childminder and one of two assistants at his school are allowed to medicate XXXXXX, and everything is logged fully at his childminders.)

Since starting school, he has been allocated a teaching assistant because of his needs - as although he is a bright child academically, he lacks the social interaction skills that “normal” children have. He is on the Special Needs Register, however has not been statemented as his academic work is good – but only whilst he is on Ritalin. This has been a problem in the classroom before, but tends to show itself more as very low self esteem which can be crippling for him. It is almost a foregone conclusion that XXXXXX will fail his SATs next year, as he needs constant attention and someone with him to support him at all times in the classroom.

The majority of times, eating his packed lunch at school and his evening meal can take over an hour each. He constantly needs to be reminded to put another mouthful in and then reminded to chew his food. The school have constantly complained that it takes so long and he has fallen out with the dinner lady on more than one occasion. As a result of the length of time he takes, he gets no playtime which means he gets no physical activity. As he cannot have his Ritalin tablet until after he has eaten, by the time he has finished, the morning tablet has completely worn off, leaving only the bad behaviour and hyperactivity.

I was requested by the helpline, to enclose “evidence” of XXXXXXX’s disabilities which include photocopies of his Family Fund form, a school diary – prior to Ritalin – and the report from his Consultant, Dr XXXXXX MBBS MRCP MRCPCH, before she went on Maternity Leave.

He was referred by Dr XXXXXX to XXXX XXXX at CAMH (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team) for his self-harming behaviour which we attend once or twice a month. Whilst we have been attending, no progress has been made with regard to his self-harming or his violent behaviour.

He was prescribed Melatonin more recently by Dr XXXXX to assist with his sleep patterns, as he was not getting to sleep until 10.30-11pm each night and waking at 6.30am. This means XXXXXX having to take another three tablets (9mg per night) in addition to his EyeQ fish oil tablets of which he takes 4 a day. In total he has 10 tablets daily in an attempt to just to stabilise his behaviour.

Having a nephew of the same age (15 days between them), only accentuates the very marked differences between their behaviour and even with all the medication he takes, it does little to narrow the gap.

To conclude, my son cannot be categorised simply as a child with special needs – he suffers from ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome and as such needs special attention, love and a lot of patience, 24 hours a day. His behaviour can be extremely aggressive either toward me or to himself and he has harmed himself and me on many, many occasions. For many years now I have been unable to take him to parties he has been invited to, or friend’s houses because in the past his behaviour means that we won’t be invited back as it is so severe. To quote Dr XXXX, “the features of Asperger’s Syndrome are becoming more obvious and these now cause at least as much difficulty as the ADHD”.

For the reasons stated above I would like you to review his case. If you have any queries or require further help, please contact me via the following numbers: XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX
Many thanks
Yours sincerely

I think this is better, (and thank you for reading it) but is it good enough? xx

I don't know why it has put numbers and symbols in the text which are not there - sorry! x

I recieve dla for my s, and i had very much the same difficulties with my application being processed.
They wrote back to me claiming my sons needs didnt excede 1 and a half hrs a day.???
i am responsible 24/7 how they decided or even got to this figure is beyond me.They allocated me the lower rate.I appealed against the decision, they hadnt even contacted specialists or doctors on my first application which really annoyed me.
I did get the decision overturned and payements were backdated.
I DONT KNOW IF YOU KNOW BUT IF YOU RECIEVE THE HIGHEST RATE YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO CLAIM A CARERS ALLOWANCE ?

Hi Chocol8

I think that Mrs Forgetful's advice is brilliant.

Point 1 - I would increase the font to 12 or 13. Don't worry about squashing onto more pages - I think its better to improve readability than length

Now as for your draft:

Point 2 - how often does the Ritalin wear off? Is this at a certain time every day?I think you have answered this later on in the letter - but make it more explicit.

Point 4 - has he ever flooded the bathroom or injured himself in the bathroom? If so, put that in

Paragraph re:SATs. I think it would be helpful to put in more detail as to why he is likely to fail SATs, and general problems with learning. Is his learning being impeded by his need for constant attention, tho he is very intelligent?

Something else that may be useful would be to provide examples of injuries he has caused to you or to himself (sorry to suggest this, as I realise that this is not an aspect you would wish to dwell on) I just think you need to really, really spell it out to the DWP.

Re:comparison with nephew. I think that more detail would be useful - i.e. if nephew is fully independent in self-care etc.

Good luck with the reconsideration, and sorry I keep nit-picking!

All advice gratefully received MummytoSteven, thank you very much - I will add some bits in and make the font size larger...it's not nit picking, it's help and thank you.

I do have 2 photos (though not great ones) of bite marks on my arm, but this is all.

I wondered if it was worth mentioning that I am finding it hard to lift him out of the bath and bend down to tie shoe laces etc as I am suffering with heart problems at the moment which is being investigated? They won't be interested until I die no doubt - or claim DLA for myself!!!

definitely add in the bit about difficulty lifting him to bath and doing his shoelaces.

Chocky

Sorry I haven't been in touch. I'll read through your letter tonight and let you know overnight.

xx

Thanks Dottee! How are you?

I have just spoken to my sister who knows him very well and is very used to his behaviour. She pointed out a few more things I need to include - that he throws himself at people he doesnt know well (sometimes telling them he loves them), that he would go off with an adult if they told him to, that he has to go to the Ladies with me because of this, that I need to supervise his play because he likes to be in control etc.

The list seems endless and yet day in day out when you are dealing with it, you become so used to it and it is the norm. I mentioned about going to the cinema (which we did tonight - very stressful) and the very rare occurance of him staying overnight at my sister's house - always ends in tears and they never get a good nights sleep. I have elaborated on certain points and feel like the letter is taking shape now, thanks to you guys.

My head feels like it will explode if I carry on tonight, there is still alot to write. I did just take a couple of pictures of my ds fast asleep and looking like a little cherub - I thought that I could look at them when I get stressed to remind myself of what a little angel he really is! Hey, it's worth a try eh?

Thanks for your help. xx

Awww chocol8 that's a lovely idea about the photos of him sleeping . Its good to remember that the boy you are describing to get DLA is not really your ds, just the worst/most difficult parts of him.

I think the letter looks great but do add those other things -all really relevant. Really really hope you get it.

Chocol8 - the letter sounds great and all the extras that the others have said too. Just keep adding to it whenever you think of something new. It doesn't matter if you feel you're repeating yourself - if its something you do repeatedly then repeat it! Also use his name too rather than he/his and it makes it more personal and less easy to dismiss.

Don't forget your timescale for getting it back and send it recorded delivery ( it only costs about a pound) and take a copy of it.

Golden rule - stress and stress again how much extra care, supervision and time he needs due to his disability. Repeat over and over again his need of additional care and total dependancy on you (or other). Exagerate!!! Repeat!!! RAM IT DOWN THEIR THROATS!!!

Use phrases such as 'challenging behaviour', 'total dependancy' etc.

If I think of anymore I'll e-mail you. Good luck! xxx

mention things like how other kids 'see' him or 'include/exclude' him- do you have to 'pave the way' around him so that he 'plays nicely'....remembering when tom was 6 i had had about 4 years of having to 'sheild' him from possible trouble- or the other kids from him hurting them.
YES mention the lifting out the bath- mention ANYTHING that seems hard.....as no doubt that means it is 'over and above that needed for a typical child of 6'

i HAVE A WRIST WHICH I AM SURE GETS PAINFUL PURELY DOWN TO ALL THE YEARS OF RESTRAINING MY SON....!!!!

DOES HE GET 'INTERESTED' IN FIDDLING WITH TAPS/HI-FIS/MECHANISMS/SCISSORS ETC.....if he's out of sight do you have to keep checking?

here's some examples of things i mentioned- be specific and imagine all of it happening at once ....as one day it could- who knows?....

he tried to 're-wire' the t.v in his room by pulling it forward on shelf-it fell forwards and fused the whole house.

pre-melatonin whilst restless in bed had chewed through playstation wires,stripped wallpaper,nibbled and spat out corners of books/pulled threads in sheets and duvet/AND WORST OF ALL.....TIED A SHEET TIGHTLY ROUND HIS NECK AND ARMS ....I was horrified when i checked on him that night- he slept in the bottom bunk and had devised some form of 'noose' to compress his body in to ....i cannot imagine what could have happened.

mixed whole bottle of fabric conditioner into washing powder

at age 5 after being invited round a neighbors to watch t.v he decided the next day to visit them...but at at 7 in the morning- i was asleep and it turned out he had stood in their garden watching their t.v through the window. he was 'discovered' by their mum at 8 and i was still asleep when he was returned.

after letting the bath water out i went to find his pyjamas...and when i came back he was COVERED IN BLOOD- 'luckily' he had 'only' nicked a tiny bit of skin on his face- but it bled profusely....and ofcourse being wet his body soon was covered.

had a convector heater in his room one winter and he threaded the silver foil discs that are inside some milk cartons into the heater (nothing else....just those discs) and then one night i could smell burning- so that was the last time we were able to use that heater. (at 10 we still cannot 'trust' him even with a 'cool air fan' on hot nights.

FINALLY....going back to age 3/4.... i fitted 'luggage' strapps around the HI-FI cupboard/video player/fridge/washing wachine and tumbledryer doors.....this was even before we had any idea of ADHD or Aspergers.....we still just thoiught we had a 'busy boy'......also he'd spin c.d's ....all this was a great inconvenience which we hoped would go with age ....but instead he's just 'adapted' to new ways of keeping me alert.

I am crying...! I am shocked. 13 days after I sent off my reconsideration information, the DLA awarded middle rate DLA to my ds! I can't believe it!

It will be back dated from April and is quite a hefty sum!

Thank you SO MUCH for your invaluable help girls! I am going to take ds to the first of his swimming lessons and then celebrate...probably with a slice of chocolate cake or something naughty! Wow! Thank you. x