Arrgh! Which school?

[TheVanguardSix]

So DC3 (DS) is 4 in a couple of weeks. He's in nursery and is on the pathway (no formal diagnosis of ASD but expecting/awaiting one). Although I haven't been actively involved with the school's SENCO, I do know her from when DD was at nursery and struggling (DD is NT and her issues were different that DS's). More important, the SENCO has been actively involved with DS, doing group exercises with him and kids from his class with similar needs.
Nursery team has been awesome with DS. I haven't felt the need to call meetings because he loves nursery and has really thrived there and also, any issues that have come up have been easily discussed with nursery teacher. It's been a breeze. Go figure. Nursery for my ASD child has been a much happier experience for him than it was for my two NT kids. You never can tell.

I will be meeting with the SENCO to discuss his move up to reception and his report, etc. He has a placement at a different school, the school his older sister goes to (which is attached to a secondary school where DC1 goes). So with 3 ducklings at the same school, DH and I can 'feel' organised. But that's not going to help our autistic son, is it?

I feel that DC3 should stay at the primary school attached to his current nursery. It's a one-form school. It's good. It's around the corner. It's got a hands-on, long-time, experienced SENCO.

DD's primary school has no SENCO lead at the moment. Ok, it does in that the head is the transitional SENCO. It's a new school- 4 years old and has already been through 2 SENCOs (they are actively hiring but have no one in place yet, other than the head).

My idea was to meet with SENCO from the school where DC3 is currently at nursery AND to meet with SENCO from the school he will be going to with DD.
I haven't heard from the SENCO from DD's school (DC3's future primary school) since I requested an appointment over 2 weeks ago.
I feel uncomfortable. DC3 can cope and is high functioning. But at the end of the day, he is an autistic child and I need to offer him a school where his needs will be met.

I don't know what the primary school he's been accepted to can offer in terms of support. I don't have a clear idea until I meet with the SENCO.

Should I worry that I've heard nothing but a standard 'Thanks for your email. We'll be in touch shortly' over two weeks ago?

Wisdom and clarity from those with experience would be hugely appreciated!

I have son age off 11 he goes to a mainstream school. Who has a diagnosis ASD high functioning.
Is Manifest on social interaction communication and so and so.

He ask me a very interesting question
He had talk with me ,that he likes to get to know himself more and his condition and feeling that's

He said to me I have a friend and I feel like you doesn't understand me sometimes and I don't understand him but if I told him more about my condition maybe he will understand me better.

I thought that was beautiful.

I don't know what to do about that I don't know his friend very well and his has good point what a smart boy. This is the first time he questioned and directed to his condition.

I'm not sure exactly because I want to protect you and help me him to make friends.

I would like to handle this as best way possible can anybody advise me or share of experience with me please.

Thanks you

You need to go with your gut instinct. You know the school that's attached to his current nursery is the right one. The one where they have met his needs so far and where they have a hands on SENCO, who already knows your DS. More importantly, your DS knows her and is familiar with the school.

Why would you trade that for a school where there is no Senco in place at the moment and where they can't even be bothered to talk to you? That is a huge red flag in my experience. When your child has additional needs there needs to be good communication between home and school.

We sent our autistic son to the same primary school as his brothers, but the SENCO at the local secondary school where they transferred to, couldn't be bothered to return my calls, and when I finally met he, it was quite clear she didn't have a clue about autism, and couldn't give a toss.

We sent DS3 to a different school in the next county, where the Senco really cared and showed an interest in DS from the outset, and where they had a lot of experience of children with autism. DS was really happy there and did well. Even though we ended up transporting him every day, it was worth it.

Why didn't DD stay at the school where she went to nursery?

Go with your gut instinct. I'm a big believer in following it when it comes to schooling.. well in everything really 😉. My DS has HFA too.The right placement can make the world of difference. Good luck!