Food issues driving me crazy with 14 yo dd (Aspergers)

[Lovemusic33]

Dd has a very limited diet, all people keep telling me is “she will grow out of it”, well she’s now 14 and her diet is even more limited. She lives on carbs, no meat, no veg and barely any fruit. Her breath stinks and I can’t stand being to close to her (she brushes her teeth but the smells still there), I’m sure it’s due to her diet. She will eat.....

Pizza (cheese only, no other toppings).
Chips
Cheese
Chips and cheese
Cheese sandwiches
Pringles
Fish fingers
Fish cake

That’s basically it other than the obvious chocolate and cake (crap).

I have written up a menu for next week, have slightly adjusted a few things to add in a jacket potato, sausages and a fruit smoothie (one a day). Even the suggestion of this has sent her crazy and she now won’t eat anything.

She’s pale, she’s always ill, probably anemic due to heavy periods but she won’t listen to anything I say about eating veg and/or meat. She says she doesn’t care if she’s ill or if her breath smells, she doesn’t care that she looks pale and ill.

Any advice on how I can sneak veg into her other than smoothies (which are full of sugar)?

I’m going to make a tomatoe sauce with hidden veg in it for her pizza but I don’t know what else to try, the smallest hint of a vegetable and she stops eating altogether.

Think about trying to take the focus off food.

Would she willingly take vitamin and mineral supplements? Would she be interested enough to do some research on her own about them?

She will take vitamins but refuses adult ones, I don’t think the children’s ones will cut it anymore.

I have tried taking the focus off food many times but her diet just gets worse and worse. If she finds a bit of tomato in her pizza sauce she will stop eating pizza for months, if I buy the wrong brand of fish cakes she will stop eating them

She’s very bright but she refuses to research anything to do with food or diet, anything I say is wrong, apparently living on cheese and carbs is perfectly healthy.

As she won't listen to you, who is she influenced by, friend, family member who could find something interesting to talk to her about?

What about her favourite YouTube vlogger, Instagram person, musician, artist? Are any of the ones you don't know into healthy food, could you leave some articles lying around for her to "find" ?

She's not really influenced by anyone, she thinks she knows everything and everyone else is wrong (a aspie thing?). She doesn't watch YouTube. Most of her friends are boys (they don't really care about health). Family members have tried to talk to her and have tried to encourage her to try new things but this makes her worse. I really don't know what else to try.

I feel your pain. I have a 12 yr old DS with ASD. Very limited diet, although Im lucky in that it’s pretty healthy. Can you get her to have probiotics? My DS takes tiny tablets that are very easy to swallow - incite nutrition is the brand. He also has Saludynam liquid (Calcium, vit D, magnesium and zinc) and Floradix iron with b vits. The liquid form may be easier for your DD or you can hide it in smoothies. I have to say, I sometimes really put the pressure on my DS to try something new. Basically I make sure it is something that I’m sure he will not dislike. (He eats potato, carrots and sweet corn so I made burgers with these veg with gram flour and mashed up butter bean for protein. He refused to eat them, so Im afraid i said he had to try one before he got down from the table. After about 40 mins he tried one. He liked it and now they’re a regular thing) I always say he can just try a tiny bit, and I give him kitchen towel to spit it out. I have also tried bribery - if he tries something, he can have 20mins on Minecraft, or screen time. Could you, say, bribe your daughter to eat just a tiny bit of something, or say one or two petit pois peas? If your daughter likes cheese, would she try a cheese sauce, where, say you’d blended in some broccoli, or cauliflower. She could have that with chips. Could you blend carrots in with double Gloucester cheese sauce? I have also had to scare my DS a bit. When the only protein he would eat was tofu (I kid you not), I explained to him the importance of varied amino acids for brain function. I read out bits from articles about the effects on boys of too much soya. There must be loads about too much dairy, both from an animal point of view and a health one. The other thing that has really worked is if a character from a film or book he loves eats things. So, Kung fu Panda means that he eats vegetarian Chinese food, dumplings, spring rolls, eggy rice etc. The latest Paddington films have lead to him having marmalade on toast (not obviously healthy, but it means I get to sneak some butter on his toast and he eats hardly any fat) Is there anything that your DD is keen on in that way that might be helpful?

She’s not that easy to bribe

Tonight she ate sausage, she moaned a bit when she saw them on her plate, I cut them up and put them in spaghetti hoops, I told her she had a choice, eat the sausage or eat a vegetable, she then went on about how it’s cruel to eat animals and how much she loves pigs (I just ignored), she then ate them and was quite pleased with herself.

She does eat probiotic yoghurt, she will eat most dairy items, she eats too much dairy really and way too many carbs.

You say she'll take children's vitamins but not adult ones - will she only eat the chewy / gummy kind? You can get gummy vitamins for adults, like these ones from Boots:

www.boots.com/boots-multivitamin-30-gummies-10191804?cm_mmc=bmm--Google+Boots+PLAs--BAU--C=%28GB%3AWhoop%21%29+Boots+Shopping+-+Category+-+Health+and+Pharmacy+-+Desktop%28GB%3AWhoop%21%29+Boots+Pharmaceuticals&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxIf71NWw2gIV4rftCh3ybQ0UEAQYAyABEgJbcvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

OP my HFA DS was similar until he was about 8yo.
I could list what he would eat on one hand....and he was rigid about trying anything else.
We went on holidays and it was a nightmare as even the McDonalds tasted differently to home... apparently.

Although I was tearing my hair out, I took a step back.
I had a very calm conversation with him about trying new foods and that it is important but acknowledged that it was very hard for him.

Over 3 months (I know exactly how long it took), I introduced cooked chicken breast. Just that. Nothing else.
We started just having it on the plate....then cutting it up (but not touching with his cutlery), then he cut it up himself. All this time, he ate his own "list" as usual and we made no comments about it.
Then he put it on his fork and brought it to his mouth. And put it back on the plate.
Finally, he put it in his mouth...and spat it out onto napkin on the table.
That progressed over about a week, to him chewing it before spitting out.
Finally (finally!!!!) he swallowed one morsel. And we cheered and clapped and told him how brave he was.

I stopped pushing him then, and he chose to keep trying chicken when we had it for family dinner (which we did a lot! after that).

Once he was happy trying chicken, and eating it regularly (oooh look DS! you can have chicken in McDonalds! Yeah!) I started on the next things.
I think it was broccoli.
5 years later, and I am getting him on to peas.
It's veeeeerrrrrry slow but has been worth it, as he eats a wide variety now.
He has started cooking himself, and he is happier to try things that he has cooked (e.g. he will make a korma and eat it if he has made it himself but not for anyone else).

My DS has lots of sensory processing issues, so I just broke eating down into pieces and started on one at a time.
Hope that helps.

Thank you for sharing your expereance. We have had some small break throughs, as you say ‘it’s slow’. Sausages are now on her list but she wouldn’t allow peas to even be on her plate (same with anything else green). A while ago she progressed from fish fingers at McDonald’s to a filet o fish (without sauce), would love for her to eat something in a sauce such as curry or even pasta.

Heyy, it's clear to see you are having a hard time with your teen trying to get her on a better and balanced diet. I think it would be easier for you if you are more stern with your child. For example, make sure she knows her place in your house. At first, she may not seem too pleased with this new regime, however, you will be thankful for it in the long run as you would have displayed discipline towards your child which will make her listen to you. Once again this is just a suggestion as many parents prefer to be soft with their child. However, in majority of cases this may lead to the child disobeying their parents and taking the parents' kindness for granted. However, I'm just giving advice based on how I was brought up but I'm pretty sure your 14 y.o will definitely grow out of this phase Xx

spongy really you don’t think I have tried this? She has Aspergers and suffers with extreme anxiety, it’s not as easy as disciplining her. Thanks for your advice but I don’t want to end up with a child who refuses to eat completely and who is a anxious mess. My child has not got Aspergers due to me being soft with her, she has extreme sensory issues. If I try and force anything on her she will not eat at all, and no she won’t eat when she’s hungry.

Dd is now ill due to constipation, she has tried to eat more fruit but can’t even look at vegetables without feeling sick 🤢