Really bad day - feel like giving in and up! cant take it any more.

[Mum2boys3]

This past week has been hell at home with ds off nursery last friday, the weekend, monday and tuesday then meeting with Ed Psych on wednesday that took up whole of 2.5 hours while he was at nursery then today they are sick so had to keep him at home.

I feel so guilty coz i really cant stand to be alone with him all day. it drives me nuts that i cant control his behavouir and runs around winding up my ds2 (15m) raining as well so cant send them out side.

I am also 32w pg and finding it difficult to move around or play on the floor so tired just want to relaxe.

DS has Suspected ASD. I just cant help thinking i am no good for him with these thoughts.

mum you are just obviously very itred. Things seem so much worse when you are exhausted. You are completely normal as ASD can be both emotioally and physically tiring. Sadly they don't see your need to relax. Hope tommorrow is a better day and the dc's are soon better.

)))))))))HUGS((((((((((

I feel exactly the same hun, hope things get easier soon

Mum2boys3. Don't feel guilty about needing some time alone.

I hope today's a better day for you. xxx

sorry yr feeling cack

All I can say is don't feel the slightest bit bad about it - its a tough week and yr feeling the strain. Of course yr knackered. I certainly feel like this at times

Hope today is better x

I was the same (still am some days). Used to call my DH home from work early before I killed all 3 kids (had 3 under 3). It does gradually get easier but I ended up calling SS and asking for help. They arranged for 1 and 2 to go toa SS run nursery 2 mornings a week and some counselling. I also went to every toddler group and every library thing just so I wasn't stuck in the house with the children.

Oh mum2

sorry you're having a rubbish day

Is there anyone around who can give you some help with either/both boys?
Or a friend who can come to you, or you to her for a cup of tea?

It's so crappy when you feel trapped inside with them, isn't it.

This week is nearly over, hope next week's better xx

Thankyou so much for your messages i feel sightly better having had a short break yesterday while ds1 was at nursery. It so does not help that my oh puts alot of pessure on me blames me for his behavour like i let him get away with it. he is very strict and ds1 behavour dose benefit from knowing the boundaries sometimes im just to worn out atm to move.

Unfortunatly it is impossable to take josh to toddler groups or even the libary he runs around screaming and shouting and leaves me feeling embarrased and upset. He wont sit still and read books will only empty out the shelves.

I do feel mainly on my own because oh works long hours and dose not get home till after they r in bed some nights. My mum step dad live in spain and my family dont c joshua problems they think its normal!!!

Friends can only c when josh is at nursery he cant handle people coming in or us going to others houses he just destroys the place and runs around shouting, very embarrasing coz i cant stop him.

Soft play centres are good but as he goes into the larger climbing frames i cant follow then he annoys other children and parents.

Sometimes i feel like contacting ss to take him away but thats not what i want really.

Would it help if, instead of feeling embarassed, you could say, 'he's autistic and he can't help it'.

Your partner is being very unreasonable. It's easy to be strict if you are mostly there when your child is asleep. It's like Madonna not letting her kids watch telly - only it's not her that enforces that, it's the nanny!
It is very frightening if you are waiting for a diagnosis, but it could really help you. It's NOT your fault and hopefully the paediatrician will talk to your partner and explain that to him as well.
Everyone needs a break, and you certainly sound a if you deserve one more than most.

SS may be able to help - by providing some sort of babysiting/respite service. I worked for them for 4 years - families were given x number of hours per week where we would come in and either look after child in house or take them out.

Hope you are feeling better today xxx

Do you have Homestart in your area, they can send someone in to play with the children while you put your feet up for a bit. Also ask your HV for advice - you could be referred to SS for Respite of some sort. You need time for you, you hold the family together. I feel like Jack is uncontrollable too but now he is 4 we have some easier periods a couple of days at a time. If I lived near hun I would come and help.

Tons of love xx

Things went well yesterday dp took out ds2 15m with him in the morning to pick up his eldest child for the weekend and again in the afternoon so was able to have a bath while ds1 did a puzzle in the livingroom (benefit from very open plan house with stairs directly below bathroom into lounge) and had some 1-1 time with ds1 to do a work book improve his counting he loves numbers and is very intrested (making slow progress still has difficulites remembering order from 1-6) also had a sleep while oh looked after ds1 and cooked tea ds2 asleep also.

Its so hard with ds1 winding up the baby as he is normally well behaved its like i can cope with 1 at a time but together they become trouble. dreading the summer hols 6 weeks of no school, 2 kids and a new baby plus i really hope that dp dose not expect me to be able to cope with step son 12yrs when he stays for normally 3 weelks over summer too

Maybe homestarts worth a go to get hold of but not sure wether they could cope with him he gets worse when people are around family especially! His condition makes it impossible for any1 to help coz when they go he is worse than ever for me cant keep him on an easy level even to do activities.

Does an1 else have problems with repetive behavouir my son can repeat the same sentance up to 40x and comes out with such randam babble its so hard to listen to

Sorry you are having such tough time..
Do you have any sn mother & toddler opportunity groups, ask your HV.
They don't judge so if your ds is running around at a million miles an hour you won't get ant tutting & stares.
Our local group has some fantastic staff who play with the children & make sure they are safe. you can either chat & be sociable with the other parents or sit in a corner with your feet up.

do you have a surestart where you are hun, ours runs a special needs parent and child drop in, all parents in same situation so you dont feel like you are being judged, i have become heavily involved with our surestart as they have absolutely been my saviours without a doubt. my ds3 and ds4, aged 5+4 are both sn, and surestart have helped, when they were the same age as your little ones i lived rural and felt very much like you do, i moved here purely because there was more support services, its a grotty estate but its saved my sanity without a doubt, i would say 1st port of call should be hv hun, they dont realise unless you tell them sometimes how tough your having it, i am sure at least they would be able to point you in the right direction, there is help out there, its just knowing where to go for it, also if your ss are like ours, dont set too much store by that till you have diagnosis, we didnt fit the criteria as my ds3 is not yet diagnosed asd, despite it being quite obvious to those who know him, good luck hun, and one last word, despite how you feel now it does get easier, my ds4 goes to school in sept and i actually feel like life is starting to return to some kind of normality lol. hope things get sorted soon hun x

Portage can also be helpful (in my area referral via health visitor). It helped me gain a little confidence in being a mum - something that is often lost when a child has behavioural issues. I really wish I had known about things like the SN swimming, play sessions at the wacky and monthly playclub earlier. Could be worth asking your health visitor or Parent Partnership often hold loads of general information on local SN facilities.

What a diffence my daily breaks make i can just about cope till bed time. ds1 was deffinatly more difficult just before bed.

Does any1 have any coping strategies for me? at the moment when he is not listening at home and generally rolling around on floors, hanging of the door handles and generally rushing around to get him to calm down and settle i ask him for a cuddle on the sofa and that normally breaks the cycle and make him listen again.

i hope im doing the right things with him coz otherwise i could just be shouting stress levels get very high when he dose not listen.