Questioning possible SN is it too early to tell at age 2?

[Raccoonsatemyscones]

I often get comments about my just turned 2 year old being different and mil who is a special needs teacher has suggested I keep an eye on it as she suspects possible autism/sensory processing issues. Spoke to health visitor and they completely dismissed all of my concerns and just asked if I wanted to go on a parenting course.

I've listed his behaviour which I'm unsure of;
-He was late to wave and talk, doesn't point, likes to 'crash/bump' into people or objects and 'squeeze' sometimes, very lively, occasionally tip toe walks/spins

• Seems to struggle with busy environments (pinches or bites strangers when in busy shopping centres/crowds)seems frenzied in stimulating environments and has a tendency to lash out. He has drawn blood/badly bruised me on several occasions, though is better now.
• He isnt interested in other children his age, will tolerate older children/adults, seems to get very close to people. If he takes an interest he sometimes hugs quite aggressively and knocks children over. Often hits/bites other children And sometimes I've no idea why
• He is obsessed with vehicles and at home will play with them constantly. Knows all his alphabet/colours/numbers up to 20 which I'm led to believe is unusual.

I know some of it could be normal toddler behaviour and I don't want to push to label him but also want to make sure I'm supporting him as best I can regardless of whether he has SN or not . Does it sound like support would be worth pursuing? Thanks.

If support is there, snap their hands off for it, you have no idea what it's like for most parents who have children with additional needs to be rejected and rebuffed at every turn, often taking until secondary school and often a breakdown or crisis before their child's needs are finally acknowledged and even then minimal help is offered. Your Health Visitor has already done that. Friends and family are often the same.

Have a look online at the MChat-R test, it's not diagnostic but see what the score is and if it's high, you can pursue a diagnosis. Ask MIL what the procedure is in your area.

Early intervention can help, that's why diagnostics for toddler age kids were introduced.

You can wait if you like, but if the help's not there when you decide you want it, it may make life much more difficult for your child. Diagnosis can be a very long drawn-out process, some parents are waiting for years.

No support has been offered, I only approaxhwd hv and she didn't seem concerned/was quite dismissive. Mil advised diagnoaia/support it is tricky to get which was why she'd had a word with me so that I could be well informed and be confident to push for support should he seem to need it. That's what I'm wondering, is it worth pushing for advice/assessment and if so how do I go about it. Health visitor said wait a year and see if there is any change. He could well grow out of it but at the minute even Mil says his behaviour is often challenging and he does stand out in playgroup. The only reason he seems to improved is that I don't take him anywhere I know he struggles with and I've gotten better at reading his cues and leaving situations rather than just trying to ride it out.

I would push for assessment. The process can be achingly slow. Issues were flagged with DS2 when he was 2.4 and he is approaching 4. Only applying now for an EHCP and next Paed appointment will be in the Summer. We are hoping to get a diagnosis then. We have been lucky in that we have been able to defer his entry to school, so fingers cross we will have diagnosis and plan in place before he starts.

I mention this because we moved through the system really quickly (from issues raised to first Paed appointment was 6 months), but it will still have taken over 2 years to get the right support in place.

I think it is fairly common for professionals to take a watch and wait approach. Obviously, it all depends on development, but it is better to be in the system. From your posts, I would say there are enough concerns to warrant further assessment. One thing that stood out for me was that you are already making adjustments, as you know in certain situations he just can't cope. I would recommend looking at the MChat-R too. Make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to the Early Support team (might be different in your area, check the councils local offer). Ask MIL for help as well, so you can be clear about the issues.

From my experience, a lot of professionals (HV's, Early Years Practitioners etc) don't have any experience/training with additional needs. I spent quite a lot of time in denial about DS2's needs and found the assurances from Nursery comforting. They didn't see any major problems, just a speech delay. It was only when a specialist teacher was very blunt about his issues that I realised.

No, I knew DD1 had problems from Day 1 - she just did not know what to do with breastfeeding, whereas my other two DC knew instinctively. Everything about her early development was odd. It took me nearly three years to get someone to believe me - GPs and HVs didn't! A speech therapist knew within half an hour, when she said

"I did not expect to see this!"

It's not too young - my DS was diagnosed at 19 months (privately). The doctor (Daphne Keene) said she could tell us with 100% certainty that he did have autism.

We knew with ds1 at under 2 that something wasn't right. Toe walking, lining up toys (god forbid u moved them - even at toddler group), head banging when upset. Luckily had a great hv who picked all up at 2 yr assessment. I did parenting course while waiting for referral - figured it showed I would try anything. Plus the childcare at the parenting course gave a report on ds which highlighted concerns even more. It still took 2 years. In our case he was signed off at 4 as not having asd but probable adhd so we had to wait until 6. Turns out ds may have asd too now his adhd is under control via medication

Thank you all for your replies. It has given me the confidence to pursue it. I think after the hv being dismissive it had me second guessing myself and often when I'm discussing it with people they downplay it but I think perhaps they're trying to make me feel better. I think I will book a go appointment and go from there.