12 month old barely eats. Except custard...

[Snufkin1]

I'm feeling like a huge failure - my almost 1-year-old is incredibly fussy and it doesn't seem like it's improving. He rejects 90% of the food I offer him and lives on weetabix, beef/chicken stew (on a good day), sweet potato, bits of bread, yoghurt and custard.

He's got a range of medical issues, no firm diagnosis but he's had 7 weeks in hospital so far and a range of development delays. We've seen a nutritionist a few times but it wasn't very useful as they were just looking at what I was serving him rather than what he was eating - they suggested adding butter and cream to his food which I do. We've had a home visit from a SLT too but just to make sure his swallow was safe (he coughs a lot especially when he drinks water). Currently doing pretty well in lots of ways but mealtimes are still a nightmare.

Today he ate:
Breakfast - about a third of a weetabix with milk and double cream, and a teaspoon of ground almonds mixed in (tip from cardiology nurse)
Lunch - tiny piece of bread and butter, maybe a tenth of a slice. He rejected banana pancakes, blueberries
Snack - sweet potato mixed with some minced beef - 2 ice cubes worth (his biggest meal of the day)
Dinner - Tiny bit of broccolli. Rejected beef stew, avocado, tuna pasta bake. Then ate a few spoons of stewed fruit before rejecting that too. But happily ate a bowl of custard (with ground almonds and cream).

I just wondered if anyone has been through this and come out the other side? He's struggling to stay at the 9th percentile for weight (he's the 50th for height), has been down as low as the 0.4th when really poorly in the early months. I'm still breastfeeding 4x a day, I'd like to cut down to just morning and evening but I'm worried about taking the calories away (he absolutely refuses a bottle).

I'd be really grateful if anyone has any advice. And thanks for reading :)

It sounds stressful. In NT child id say cut the bf and see if he has more appetite. But I'm guessing weight and calories is more of a concern than variety

Thanks allthewaves, yes I think you might be right - I have cut down the bfs a bit, and I'm trying not to give him any milk too close to meals but if I do miss a feed he does eat a bit better. I'm just nervous to actually cut out a feed because I won't be able to reinstate it if it doesn't work. Thanks for the reply :)

Can you express to maintain supply? If you can, then there’s less risk when cutting out a feed because you can reinstate it.

You could just vary the custard a bit a bit more to introduce new flavours. Mix in different fruits and nuts, even try veggies.

Feeding is stressful when it’s not going well, but you sound like you’re doing an amazing job.

Please do not feel like a failure, you will get there. My NT daughter was breastfed and hardly ate a thing until way past 1 (possibly nearer to 2). I know obviously your situation is different but don't be too hasty to drop the feeds. Keep doing what you are doing especially if he's doing well at the moment. My daughters now 4 and eats really well.

Thanks so much for replying. Springer I hadn't thought of adding veg to the custard, he'll eat custard with fruit purree so I could definitely give veg a go - and look for some alternatives to almonds too. Thank you - it's something I can try that might actually work!

I'd really like to avoid expressing if I can, I did it for months when he was younger (he was tube fed for six weeks then I thought I'd keep going to make sure my supply was good) and got so totally fed up with it I swore I was done! I'd need to get a pump too - was hiring one before. So I won't do it at the moment but will keep it as an option.

Rabbitty, thanks for the encouragement, it's really good to hear your daughter eats well now!