Angry. Surely teachers cannot give out personal info on children's sn?

[Frascati]

My friend's dc was hit by another child in the playground. This child also hit another few that day too.

My friend complained and the teachers answer was "dc is on the autistic spectrum".

Now was I right to be furious when df told me? At the end of the day my own dd has sn (adhd and asd) and I don't want that kind of info to be the playground gossip. I will tell who I want when I want to. Surely this info can not be given out so freely?

I am just stunned tbh and thought that teachers had to be discrete and confidential.

I am going to link this to sn to see what they think but would appreciate comments from teachers Thanks

I didn't think it would be allowed. I thought the usual thing was to say something like "Yes your child was hit by another child and the matter is being/has been dealt with." I wouldn't be too happy about a teacher telling other parents about my children's SN. Ds1 is only just learning about it all himself.

yep
not acceptable

Not acceptable - but I think many people would be more understanding if it were explained that the hitter had some sort of sn, instead of imagining some wild nt child.

Message withdrawn

i have been told this kind of thing on more than one ocasion. the last time concerned a boy and my son whowere always argueing ths head of year told me the other boy had aspergers. tbh it was helpful as I was then able to talk to ds about it and get him not to pull the trigger iynwim

I would agree with wandering trolley's comment. The teacher is basically saying this child that hit out is autistic ergo there is a reason for why this is happening. Not their "fault" in other words.

Sounds like a lot of people are being let down here not least of all the autistic child in question. Why is this person not being helped at breaktime?.

I think if the staff feel that it would be better for others to know then they should ask for the parents' permission first. Otherwise where would it end?

"Sorry your child was hit today but the other child's parents are in the middle of a messy divorce and he's upset."

or

"Sorry but the other child sees his dad hitting his mum a lot and was just copying."

It's personal information IMO and should stay that way unless the parents agree otherwise.

Thing is as coppertop says a lot of us with children with similar problems don't know.
I personally think it's up to me who knows such very personal info about my child.

Oh god yes coppertop didn't see your last post but that's exactly what I am getting at!

i do wonder if schools sometimes use the sn as a get out clause. they tell the angry parent(i have been that parent) so that said parent then can't blame the school.......hope that makes sense.(i am 2shoes by the way)

I think you're probably right about it being a get-out. I think it's a convenient way of avoiding taking responsibility for their lack of adequate supervision in the playground.

I can't keep up with all the name-changing.

I can see why people want their confidentiality to be respected, but at the same time, if someone hit my ds and I was told that child had autism or something, it might help me to be a bit more forgiving/understanding. Although I'd still want to know what the school were doing to manage the behaviour (just as I would for an NT child if it was something likely to recur) as it's not fair on an SN child to just leave them to the mercies of the playground IYSWIM - if their behaviour marks them out as different it could cause problems for their relationship with other children.

I think some parents would find it helpful to be told etc but there will be others who will be unable to resist telling other parents and generally turning it into gossip.

There's also the risk of the child with autism hearing for the first time that they are autistic from another child or parent. Ds1 is only just finding out about his own ASD. It's something that has to be done very carefully and gently. Atm I'm reading parts of a book with him written by a 10yr-old with autism. Ds1 is really interested in the subject and keeps saying "That's just like me!" He's seeing his ASD as a positive thing. If the first he'd heard about it was another child telling him "My mum says you're autistic" I think he would have found it all very scary and confusing. It's one of those things that you need to pick the right time to do. When ds2 starts school in September he won't have the ability to understand what ASD/AS is and I'd prefer it if the school gave us the choice of when he should learn about it.

I think that if a teacher had told me confidential information about another child I would be wondering whether or not they were telling other parents about my child. It would also make me hesitate before passing on any further information about my children, even if it was something that the staff would benefit from knowing.

I still think the right thing to do would be to discuss this with the parents of the child with SN first.

For what it is worth - in my humble (but knowing! ) opinion, this is a definate no no. Staff have a written policy - whether in school or pre-school/nursery - that confidential info is only shared on a 'need to know' basis. This means that 'delicate' issues are sometimes not even shared with all staff members, so for a teacher to tell another parent is absolutely appalling! Ask to see the school's 'confidentiality policy' and if you find anything in writing about this issue - complain!

OTOH though as ct has put would it be ok to explain to the teacher if the child had seen domestic violence and was copying dad? I am sure that there is no way they would allow that so why sn?

From a teacher's POV, I would never discuss such a thing with a parent without express permission from the parents of the child with sn.
Are you sure that the teacher did not have such permission? I ask because a couple of years ago I had a child with ADHD in my class. He often lashed out both verbally and physically and his mum was very keen for others to be made aware of his condition.

Break time was not a problem for him, it was when he was required to concentrate that his frustration came through. I have to say though, we made sure he had as much support as we could give him in class. If an sn child is having difficulties at break time then it should be written in their IEP that they need support at that time. If the school knows he has ASD and are failing to support him when he clearly needs it, then your friend needs to go in herself and find out what's going on.