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Fa development should I worry

2 replies

Whatcouldpossiblygowrong · 16/03/2018 22:58

I’ve come here for advice because for a long time I have been wondering if I really am doing everything I can / doing things in the right way to support my DS and help him develop as fully as possible.

Long story short he is bright, creative, full of energy and very happy at school.
However - at home- he gets very easily overwhelmed by his emotions, he often worries, can become easily frustrated or angry if things don’t go his way and can wind himself up into a total meltdown pacing and hitting things and screaming.
Other times it goes the other way and he can get over excited or hyped and not be able to bring it down.
He seems deliberately defiant, critical negative or oppositional a lot either refusing to do as he’s asked or complaining and expressing disappointment in everything.
He is happy when he’s stimulated by an activity involving me or my DH full attention - ideally about a topic he’s hooked into (like all young boys he has fad interests- eg cars, space, Romans) but otherwise hangs around waiting for us to give him attention.
He is always in his head- overthinking everything and seems to jump out of it when we talk to him. Lastly he seems physically awkward and uncoordinated - basic tasks like using a fork, colouring or wiping his bottom seem like he hasn’t got much fine motor control iyswim.
In spite of this he is popular with friends, thoughtful, sensitive and caring with a very mature side.
I just find him incredibly hard work and often feel exhausted by him.
I ask school at every parent meeting (he’s currently in y3) and they say he’s thriving. Why am I seeing this behaviour at home and how can I support him?!

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 17/03/2018 10:10

Does he play on electronics? My dc find it very soothing to play 3ds or ipad games when overwhelmed (and I get some peace)

Frusso · 17/03/2018 11:19

He seems deliberately defiant, critical negative or oppositional a lot either refusing to do as he’s asked or complaining and expressing disappointment in everything you need to link this with he often worries, can become easily frustrated or angry
The latter is the reason behind the first. The anxiety is behind the oppositional defiant type behaviour. Work on the anxieties, look at what he is worried about and look at teaching him how to manage his anxieties, once you see his defiance isn't deliberate it makes it easier to deal with.
With the fine (and gross) motor skills difficulties, perhaps request go for a referral for an OT/Physio assessment.

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