Dyspraxia? Dyslexia? Low muscle tone?

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Wondered if anyone can help me. I know my DS's difficulties aren't very severe compared to what a lot of children have to deal with but I've been wondering if there is something "wrong" or different about him for almost 5 years now. I've just been to the GP as I noticed that he is hypermobile in his fingers, wrists, elbows and shoulders but while there we got discussing his other issues and we're being referred about possible developmental disorder/dyspraxia I think. But then lots of other people tell me he's fine so I just don't know and I keep doubting myself and wondering if I'm going mad! This is a list of all the worries and issues we've had with him over the years. Some may not be relevant and just his personality but I just don't know anymore! He is almost 7 years old now.

• Met his early gross motor milestones (crawling and walking) on time but since then has been late meeting every single milestone (physical, communication, self-care etc)
• Couldn't jump at all until he was 3.5 years whereas most children seem to do it around 2.
• Struggled with climbing and balancing for a long time. Still not great but okay.
• Never learned to ride a trike, let alone a bike. Couldn't work out how to pedal.
• Can't work out how to use his scooter even with help.
• Has been having weekly swimming lessons for about a year and a half but still in Stage 1 and has made little progress.
• Struggles with his pen-grip still - can't hold a pencil "properly".
• Took forever to toilet-train him. Didn't start until 3.5 but even then took at least 1.5 years to get fairly reliable and still has occasional accidents now. Had issues with constipation and witholding which didn't help but now on Movicol.
• Drooled excessively as a baby and toddler. Only got out of bibs at 3.5.
• 90% of the time he gets dressed incorrectly with shirt, pants, trousers on wrong way round and back to front. Also shoes on wrong feet. Won't notice they are wrong.

-Still can't eat without getting food all around his face and in his hair.

• Has always needed much more repetition with any activity before it will start to go in/make sense to him.
• Late to talk. Only had 12 words at 2 years. Then was delayed in talking to other children, probably due to confidence. Seems okay with all that now.
• Struggles with orders of things - still can't recite the alphabet, the days of the week, months of the year etc.
• Still doesn't know the names of all the children in his class despite being with them for 2.5 years.
• Can't remember the words correctly to any song or nursery rhyme despite being quite musical and good at pitch/singing.
• Formation of letters when writing is strange and varies a lot.
• Frequent reversals of letters and numbers.
• Struggled with reading for a long time but has recently clicked and now roughly where he should be for his age.

Each issue by itself is not a big deal and I know that every child has their strengths and the things they find harder. It's just taking everything together makes me wonder if there is something behind all this. He's always been a bit "different" for want of a better word! I work with children so see a lot of kids his age. He's incredibly creative with a fabulous imagination and spends most of his time in a daydream. He's definitely not very persistent so maybe some of this is personality. But he does also remind me a lot of his father who is dyslexic. I know he's still a bit young to test for dyslexia but does anyone have any thoughts about that or dyspraxia? Am I right to have seen the GP?

Off to work in a sec so will reply when I'm home this evening. Not ignoring anyone.

My dd 8 recently got diagnosed with developmental coordination disorder. Very similar to your DC except early with speech and milestones. However it was increasingly obvious that her younger siblings were overtaking her in using cutlery, eating without half of it going over her or the floor, can't do zips or buttons, can't throw or catch or walk across a room without falling over ! She also has very slow processing which adds to the difficulties. Diagnosis has really helped our understanding and approach to her.

Thank you both so much for your replies. It's such a relief to hear of other children who are similar and that are soon to be or already diagnosed. Like you said Miaow, I'm sick of people saying my DS is fine. I know they mean well and are trying to be reassuring but it just makes me doubt myself constantly. And if you mention any of the issues people often say, "Oh yes, my youngest struggled at swimming / toilet training / writing..." but then you find out that's the only issue they had and they were great at everything else! It's when your DC seems to find every single activity harder than their peers it does make you start to think. I'm so pleased that diagnosis has helped you with your DD Didiplanthis. Can I ask how long the whole process was?

You can self-refer to a paediatric OT in some areas, check yours, if not, ask the GP to refer.

While you're waiting (!) buy some paediatric caring cutlery, the type with the indentation for the index finger, like these, to see if it helps.
www.completecareshop.co.uk/paediatric-care/childrens-cutlery-sets/kura-care-childrens-cutlery-set

and buy a selection of pencil grips so you can work out which are most comfortable to use.
www.thedyslexiashop.co.uk/catalogsearch/result/?form_key=ehvY6CbobGoVmGBV&cat=0&q=pencil+grips+

Read as much as you can about any condition you suspect may be present and see what interventions are available. It mostly comes down to being given exercises and finding ways of making them fun.

Some useful things I've learned along the way are :-
Look at a hypermobile joint, if it's going white, it's extended too far so try not to do so.

Find a podiatrist and ask them to look at the walking problem.

Make a note of everything like you have done above and give a copy to every professional you see with a note that Dad is Dyslexic.

But then lots of other people tell me he's fine but they don't know him like you do and don't see or don't WANT to see anything that could mark him out as being different. They only see one tiny thing and dismiss it, they don't look at the overall picture that you've detailed above.

We've all been through that, friends, family and teachers. Ignore all of them He's your child and you are concerned. reading your list I'd be concerned too because there's enough on there to say the child could do with some extra help.
Go for it!

Sounds very much like dd who has just been flagged up for dyspraxia by her senco ( aged 7) but I have seen difficulties since age 3. Dd is also hypermobile. For various reasons I stopped raising concerns on my part as school were far from supportive and I was made out to be obsessive about it. She's now waiting for a therapist to assess her with the dr saying she more than likely has it. Here are some of her issues:

• poor handwriting

-laterally confused

• struggles with pencil grip
• struggles with cutlery
• 2 years below expected level for some subjects at school
• 1 year behind for the rest of the subjects
• struggles with pe and swimming
• awkward and uncomfortable movement when going from sitting to standing and vice versa
• struggles to follow 1-2 step instructions

Most of these were from her teacher who is also the senco. The cutlery is something I've noticed at home. To me in generally she just seems a lot more immature than she should be for her age, she's is very unorganised and has to be told what to do at every step so for example in a morning even though she knows to get ready for school unless you say "go get your uniform on " she won't think to

Thank you for those links and the support BlankTimes. I think you do need to read up on everything in order to advocate for your child don't you? My DS's school is lovely but we're in a deprived area and there are a lot of students with significant SEN and difficult backgrounds so I think his issues aren't very obvious in comparison. He kind of floats under the radar.

Nkutch - your daughter sounds very like my DS. He's always been very immature for his age and not in a silly way, just like a younger child and not very aware. Every single milestone after walking he has finally met about 10-12 months after most other kids, just at the point where everyone is starting to get worried and talk about referrals but then, because he does it, it's brushed off as one of those things. But when one of those things happens every single time it makes you think. Best of luck with you daughter's assessment.

I'm surprised the immature for age thing isn't more widely flagged at school and by professionals, the amount of undiagnosed kids who are "immature", it's a real sign they need a bit more help, especially with behaviour, impulse control etc. It's mentioned so many times on here yet nowadays it seems to be an invisible trait everywhere else.

A very general approach is to treat a child's emotional age as approx two thirds of their chronological age. So your 9 year old who is struggling with social interaction with other 9 year olds is emotionally only 6. Once you start to think along those lines it may make things easier and help you to see their struggles in a different light and put some more suitable strategies into place.

Ignore all the s/he needs to grow up, toughen up, stop being such a baby comments, followed by the inevitable helicopter parent ones.

@MiaowTheCat I have the same issue! Baring in mind dd has always been behind since she was at nursery there the school are ridiculous.one teacher particular said to her face are you seriously letting you mum put your shoes on! I was raging. And she comes him every day with comments like teacher saying hurry up or what you want me to do about it when she falls over x

I am relating HARD to this thread! Get so cross with people saying we baby her too much and it's the cause of all her problems - we "baby" her because she needs the extra help!

And because she's reasonably close to the norm values, sometimes inside the norm at the very lowest end, but to be at the "bottom" for everything is a very different beast. It makes you feel like you are being ridiculous, but you aren't.

And why in the world they assume a room full of children broadly divided by birth date should all be similarly "mature" is beyond me anyway - are all 21 year olds similar? All 40 year olds? Is the child with the latest birthday and nearly 11 months younger than their peers being "immature" or just flipping well younger?

Keep hammering away at the medical profession but try not to get your hopes up that any of this will be quick. We have been in the system 2 years now and just had the first OT report through.

Definitely get the Junior Caring Cutlery, that was like a magic wand in our house. We used to be unable to look at DD eating because her attempts at cutting things up were so absurd.

My DS's school is lovely but we're in a deprived area and there are a lot of students with significant SEN and difficult backgrounds so I think his issues aren't very obvious in comparison. He kind of floats under the radar.

This is us completely! I'm really cross that we changed her speech therapist. She was going to a therapist in the posh part of town and was being set up to go to a special language unit with a support plan. We found out we were trekking an hour across town for her appointments for "no reason" as there was a therapist near us so we changed, and within 2 weeks she was discharged completely!! Nobody goes from special school place to cured in 2 sessions, but I really feel she was one of the worst over there and one of the least needy round here, so she was dropped. However, the needy area thing has come back to our favour now, as her high shcool offers a great deal for the ones who need more help and will find it a challenge to get loads of high marks in written exam subjects. In another school she might get a suite of D, E and F grades in the old standards, here she will come out well qualified in something - childcare, beauty, hospitality, marine engineering, whatever it is.

Every single milestone after walking he has finally met about 10-12 months after most other kids, just at the point where everyone is starting to get worried and talk about referrals but then, because he does it, it's brushed off as one of those things.

This too! Crawled at nearly a year, walked at 24 months, talked at nearly 3, potty trained close to 5, but every referral arrived just too late.

She is coming up 12 now and has finally been diagnosed with DCD (dyspraxia) and there might be some other stuff coming out in the wash too, but it's so useful to be able to finally look at people and say it's not just that she needs to buck her ideas up. She now has an OT who will be meeing with her high school, so slowly, oh so very slowly, it's coming together. I only wish we had stuck to our guns and set things in motion earlier.

I still think "maybe it's nothing" until I read a list like this of things that are concering that a child of 7 can't do them and DD is 11 and can't do these things either. You will probably always doubt yourself, but that is the lot of the parent, and the lot of the "imposter syndrome". Dress yourself in your best invisible armour and don't take any flack from the system.