How do you tell when anxiety about your child's problems is becoming unhealthy/a clinical problem?

[mummytosteven]

DS 3.2 has very delayed language (expressive and receptive) and has some other issues re:social/imaginative play, such that he is on a waiting list for multi-disciplinary assessment (appointment date next Jan FFS). He has had a private SALT appointment. I think some ASD diagnosis is on the cards (everything I have seen on Semantic Pragmatic Disorder rings huge bells).

Since I took my head out of the sand as his 3rd birthday approached and his language didn't magically improve I have been quite miserable and pre-occupied about DS's speech problems and possible ASD. Is it normal to feel like this pre-diagnosis? How do I tell when it becomes an unreasonable level of anxiety?

going through a wave of pessimism at the moment, getting upset at all DS can't do (like tell me anything about his day at nursery, who he played with etc).

Nursery/Senco visit produced zilch - as I have given a sheet of written instructions from Private SALT to nursery, Senco saw this as perfect get out not to recommend anything herself. And psych doing the Hanen course doesn't seem inclined to do anything proactive. So got to wait for first SALT/multi-discipinary appointment next JAN as DS falls further and further behind his peer group .