How / do you - tell other school parents that your child is likely ASD?

[Moulesvinrouge1]

My child is very clearly ASD and has a lot of additional needs which are being dealt with well by the school. We are awaiting official diagnosis but really it’s just a piece of paper now as there is very little doubt. I can see other parents are intrigued by what’s going on with us - I’d be grateful if anyone could share any experiences or advice regarding telling people who are not close friends / family but are in close proximity about being on the spectrum or awaiting an almost certain diagnosis. Thanks so much.

I’m quite frank and factual for people that need to know (e.g. play dates) and just say what difficulty they/he might have, that we are awaiting ASD assessment, and to call me if they need to. If people don't we’d to know, then I say nothing.

I also have ASD so I’m used to having to deal with explaining things autism related.

I've found people have gone out of their way to be kind once they knew. I was a bit reluctant to tell people at the start as I felt it was my DS's information and he might be annoyed at me when he is a teenager if I'm going around telling everyone. I just tell people who need to know for now.

With some people I just say he 'has a few issues' or he finds it hard to manage his behaviour or to make friends but we are all trying to help him. Often people read between the lines and understand it is autism without me directly saying it.

DS has started telling some people himself now that he has autism and some facts about it.

Being open takes the pressure off as most people make some allowances for any behaviour that is a bit different or difficult. Also, if you say nothing then its like the elephant in the room - you know everyone is wondering about it.

Thanks so much. It’s so difficult as we haven’t really talked to him yet (he is coming up for 5) but he clearly has a lot of issues. I guess I also don’t want to misjudge someone and tell them and then their child uses that information in an unkind way. But with a bit of understanding it could work out well for him - it’s so hard to know what to do, and my husband is literally no help, he doesn’t see any of the social difficulties our child faces. Argghh!!!

I agree with @Vibe2018 about people being kinder once they know. My DS is 2.5 and has just recently been diagnosed. Before diagnoses I just told people straight out. Especially if he was interacting with their children. It helped to curb those judgemental looks while waiting to drop off or pick up at nursery and the moms were very kind and helpful.

No I haven't but then people in my kids school aren't overly friendly so i don't really speak to anyone other than a quick hello in passing.

I only tell people that really need to know and who have direct contact with my son. I don’t like announcing personal stuff anyway so this works for me. Also as a poster has said above I will leave it to my son to tell who he wants if he wants in the future.