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Disability as a competative sport

7 replies

bobalinga · 05/05/2007 08:44

Do not read unless you have an un-PC sense of humour!!!!
I was at a drop in centre for disabled children the other day (i use a wheelchair too). It was pretty busy so I sat drinking coffee and listening to other people. C was the only other wheelchair user inthe room. I'm guessing the other kids had autism/ADD or something similar. Hidden disabilities.
It was then I became aware of a certain competativeness in how disabled their chidren were (I must say, given C is a spastic quad and is blind with epilepsy we were obviusly clear winners and should have got the prize but no-one asked me)
While most of the parents are genuine there is often a smattering of NT kids who the parents are convinced have something (or who just use the centre cos its a fab play area and the staff look after your child) and they are often the loudest. You hear things like 'P likes to run around so shemust have ADHD'. I'm sure you've al met them.
So I've decided to make a spoof website that is totally un-PC so rate yourself or your child on the disability-o-meter (I was going to use spazz-meter but DH pointed out that this was terribly un-PC)
Anyone want to contribute questions....?

Seriously, this is tongue in cheek and not meant to offend and should be funny!

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bobalinga · 05/05/2007 08:48

and would you qualify?

www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/features/b1tch/040507.shtml

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bobalinga · 05/05/2007 09:14

this is funny

the top ten lists
www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/play/topten/nottosaytoable.shtml

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bobalinga · 05/05/2007 09:28

awww man..

www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/play/lifestyle/test.shtml

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2shoes · 05/05/2007 09:45

did the last one and got to the thrid page then ticked all boxes. couldn't carry on for laughing.
dd is normaly about 2nd or 3rd at play scheme

twoisplenty · 05/05/2007 10:43

Oops, neglected my children this morning, for looking at the questionnaire etc...

Good stuff Bobalinga, excellent. Not sure how they get away with it these days though, with this pc country gone mad. It's about time we turned the tables, and had a good laugh at "them others", you know, those "normal" people.

Was a bit disappointed though...only 42% disabled. Humph. Thought they would be a bit more sympathetic, what with cp dipelgia, and epilepsy and learning problems. Oh, and speech problems too. But definitely eligible for space, yippee!!

Pixel · 05/05/2007 23:43

I did it on behalf of ds (ASD non-verbal} and he scored 15% 'you are only disabled when you feel like it'. Have to say I wouldn't put it past him to be stringing us all along as he usually manages to do things he wants to do .

bobalinga · 06/05/2007 09:43

Its just like the DLA forms then , designed to prove you're a workshy money grabbing crip!
I thought the last questions about 'Have you everbeen patted on the head?' were very funny.
We haven't written our questionnaire yet but have written the comments for how many points you managed to get.
They are hideously un-PC so if anyone wants to read them I'll tell you where they can be found.
Along the lines of 0-10 points : you're not disabled at all, but a crip-wannabe. No blue badge for you matey, get out to work and start paying taxes to support all those rich old people.
10-20 points : you have a hidden disability and old people tut at you when you use a disabled bay. They then mutter when you walk across the carpark. You also have to send the DLA form back several times and family members think you're pulling a fast one.

You see the sort of thing

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