newly diagnosed Aspergers

[thornrose]

Hi
I'm new to this site,in that I've only posted a couple of times but I really need support right now. My daughter had a SCDAT assessment today and her diagnosis is Aspergers.I knew this deep down but hearing it in "black and white" has hit me quite hard. My family and friends are desperately trying to get me to talk but I feel I've retreated into myself and can't bear to go over all the details over and over to various family members. I feel a strange sense of calm, in that this is who she is and I'm going to stop worrying about how she comes across to other people and let her just be. I feel panicky about her future despite reassurances that lots of people with Aspergers lead successful lives etc etc. Most worrying,I have a brand new concern,when observing dd today I saw that she had no real connection with other people! I'm suddenly panicking that all the love that she shows me is somehow not real. I'm not making a lot of sense,I feel overwhelmed and trying to hold it together but failing right now.

Thanks for that dinosaur, I really feel that I just have a "label" for something I couldn't put my finger on,but it's still hard. Immediately after assessment we went to the park and I felt this strange sense of calm, this acceptance that this is why she acts this way and everybody can just bog off. I'm going to relax and let her just be (although I won't stop guiding her in the way of the world and the complex "rules" of society!). She is still my gorgeous girl, she's funny, fun and a real one off and if I like that then others will surely! One of her strengths that came out in her assessment is that she "shares enjoyment" and apparantly that is really important because it "helps people like us" so thats a bonus.

hello thornrose

I am mum to DS with Aspergers, and we are currently going through the asessment for DD to see if she,s on the spectrum and,
I have Asperger Syndrome myself.

You have done the best thing getting your daughter diagnosed.
I wish i could have been diagnosed when i was a child and i would have saved years of heartache.

Like you said many many people with AS lead sucessful lives, i was a supervisor in a big travel company before i had children, and i have travelled all over and i feel like i have led a successful life.

once you have got past the inital shock of the dx you will see your daughter for what she is a lovely, unique, special girl with her own lovable quirks.

please keep posting and ask as many questions as you need to.

Jen
x

hi Thornrose, The way you describe how you are feeling sounds entirely natural to me.
Don't worry about not wanting to share all your thoughts & the dx with your family, I'm sure you will when you are ready.
DX is hard & a time of mixed emotions, sadness but also relief. You sound as if you have entirely the right attitude, your daughter hasn't changed you have just been given a name for they way other people perceive her.
Don't worry about holding it all together you are allowed to cry.

Hiya

give yourself time, a dx is like a bereavement and it really hurts, and it takes a while as well. There's a song title that always remeinds me of the feeling (ds1 HFA / AS, ds3 due a dx of ASD)- 'say goodbye to the world you thught you lived in'- thats exactly it, it does change your basis for everythinga nd you need to adjust at the rate that suits you.

I hope you;'re in contact with the national autistic society as they are wonderful, please do remember it does get better and less painful X