OK ds1 has decided he doesn;t want anyone in the house.

[gess]

He screams and shouts, hit himself and me and tries to drag them out of the door until they leave- yes we sometimes make him wait hours. Although that is painful for all concerned. He may not mind them being in the house, but just want to watch them leave (as he then gets to go outside the house and watch thier car drive off). Not too sure. Just thinking laterally.

We've just had a man measuring up for blinds come round and it was an absolute nightmare, we couldn't even talk to each other.

Any ideas- we have several vistors lined up for May-- if he's like this it will be impossible.

Sorry gess, no helpful suggestions i'm afraid, is this something new? Have you had any visitors that he genuinely didn't like recently.
DS2 went through a phase of hating anyone knocking on the door & not wanting to let anyone in, although he was OK once they were in, it took us a while to work out it only started after Halloween.
Now he insists on kissing everyone before they go, even the very a hairy plumber

The more I think about it the more I think that he doesn;t mind people being here- he just likes them leaving, as he gets to go outside/go outside and look at their car/watch them drive off.

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Oh I can recognise that one TM. Sometimes if ds1 doesn;t see me say walking down the stairs (or just catches the end of it) he sends me back up the stairs to come down again!

Could people maybe park round the corner so he didn't know they'd brought their car and then you point out the window "look no car" and at least then they could stay for a normal period of time.

No - he matches people to their cars and goes ballistic if he can't spot it out the window!

I can only think that we completely prevent him from goiing outside when we say bye, but the screaming would be utterly awful, and that would involve some sort of restraint at the door, I'm really not sure I can face it.

Did you find anything that worked TobysMum or did you have to leave it to run its course?

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The rewind makes me PMSL.

I have a telephone consultation booked with a consultant next week so I'll ask him about it. I suspect in ds1's case its the actual leaving that is reinforcing,. Or it maybe that he sees the whole thing as a sequence and wants us to get to the end- we've had that a lot as well- a problem with going anywhere twice- we have to do everything then finish.

won't have any probs getting rid of the double glazing salesmen/kitchen salesmen/religious leaflet deliverers then .

seriously though, could you have some sort of positive reinforcement for letting people in? sounds like he likes to see the car drive off and so this is the reinforcement when people leave - he gets to see the car drive away when they leave so he knows that by making them leave he gets to see it. So is there some sort of insentive that would mean he would let people in? Is there something he likes for instance, that visitors could bring with them, and could give to him when they arrive, so he would have the insentive to let them come in rather than throwing them out? or would he then make people leave and come back again so he got the best of both worlds?

would seeing people arrive help?
DS used to take peoples shoes coats and bags to vistor after they had only just sat down

apparently he's trying to rush everyone along at school as well, so I figure we're in a "we must get to the end of the sequence and finiah" phase. Deep joy!

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