How do I stop 3 year old hurting himself mid meltdown?

[elliejjtiny]

3 year old has suspected autism and diagnosed speech and physical delays and hypermobility. We're in the early stages of assessment. He never makes any kind of fuss if he hurts himself, just picks himself up and carries on. He seems to have a new bruise every day and preschool have been asking about them. I'm so worried they think I hit him.

On Friday I was carrying him inside the house on my him and he was struggling because he wanted to escape as usual. I was holding him with both arms but then I had to let go with one arm so I could open the door so I was just holding him with one arm round his waist and he had his arms round my neck. He suddenly flung himself backwards and I instinctively held him tighter because I thought I was going to drop him. Now he has another bruise on the top of his leg where I held him which looks non accidental. I feel awful and keep thinking about what I could or should have done differently. If I'd have just let him drop down he might have been less badly hurt or worse, I don't know. He has scratched me, bit me, hit me and pulled my hair out most days but i've never hurt him, i'm so upset.

I've been trying to be extra vigilant today so he goes into preschool tomorrow with no new bruises but he just keeps hurting himself. This afternoon he had a meltdown because I wouldn't let him climb into the oven while I was cooking dinner and he flung himself against the kitchen cupboards. He keeps trying to escape when I try and get him out of the bath and flings himself up against the sides of the bath. I'm scared to pick him up in case I drop him or worse. When I went to put him to bed tonight I had to call dh to take him upstairs because he was flinging himself around again when I was trying to carry him. I don't know what to do to keep him safe. I'm scared he is going to be seriously hurt or be taken away from me by social services.

My ds (ASD) was constantly covered in bruises at 3, I always dreaded sending him into nursery and having to sign a form each time. All from a mixture of hypermobility and sensory seeking behaviour.

Ds is 4 now and he can still be like this(running away and trying to fling himself when he doesn't want to be held) but it is definitely less often now. I think it's a mixture of him growing up a bit and gaining more understanding, us finding more ways to avoid situations where he has to be restrained and him seeing an OT to help with sensory issues.

Do you know what triggers him? Maybe some of it could be to do with sensory issues.

Thankyou. I'm not sure what it is that triggers him. I thought it was just him wanting to make a break for freedom as he has much less freedom than his older brothers because they can be trusted not to run into the road etc and he can't. I'm wondering if it's a sensory thing now though. I'll see if I can work out what is triggering him.

I think often when my ds runs away he's doing it for the pure joy of running. Like your ds he really can't be trusted at all as he has no sense of danger. But sometimes it's anxiety brought on by being overstimulated or trying to escape from sensory overload that is upsetting him.

He's still really young but have you tried using visual prompts for things like getting him in and out of the bath? My ds often needs either a transitional toy or an image of what is coming next (ie Story or bed) to help him get out of the bath and go to his bedroom in the evening.

I really feel for you, 3 was a really tricky age for us. I'm not saying it's all perfect now but a year has definitely made a big difference.