Pls advice if you have an anxious dd

[Metsx5]

My dd seems anxious about everything to do with School and outside activities but at home she is confident. It's exhausting constantly reassuring and taking the long route of every activity due to her worrying. Does anyone else deal with this, what do you find helpful and do you know the cause? My feeling is asd that is often missed in girls due to abilities to copy expected behaviours.
I know what a loving stable Home she has and how hard I try to help on every level but I'm now thinking of paying for a private assessment.

Hi OP. It sounds like your dd could do with some extra support to help her feel less anxious, so an assessment could be really useful.

What do her teachers think? Is she concealing her anxiety at school? And what sort of age is she- primary or secondary?

I would start with school - class teacher can get ELSA support involved or pass you to SENCo if needed. If you feel she might have autistic traits (and you don't have to be certain, you're not a clinician) then you could seek an assessment. Are you thinking private because you're worried she is somehow not "bad enough" for the NHS route or because you don't want to wait?

My son is going through the assessment process so he might get diagnosed or not. Either way, by considering that he might be autistic we've opened up a whole different "menu" of ideas to help reduce his worries, and we have finally felt able to mention it to his football coach etc so we can suggest some strategies to help him. I'm not saying we're amazing parents or anything but if a really tight squeeze helps to calm your child down, that is a useful bit of info and you don't need to wait 2 years for a diagnosis to explore that.

She just started a new school but her previous teacher seemed to think she's fine when she's in but dd tells me otherwise and had a meltdown everyday after school. She moved from year two to year three juniors (separate School) and after three months she became extremely upset at going due to the School set up and the new teacher who's approached caused her anxiety's. So I've moved her but it's Only day three so their is much going on at the moment. She is sensitive and I don't worry about helping because I understand and have strategies (my eldest has Asperger) it's trying to differentiate sensitive worrier or asd? She has found School difficult (although managed to cope) from day one but it got really bad when moved to juniors year 3 class and she felt sure her teacher hates her. After talking to School several times with little change and an hysterical dd begging to move, I did. Although now she wants to move back because it's all new and scary and misses her friends.