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Help- not sure if child has SEN. Should I tell school?

1 reply

freedom08 · 10/12/2017 22:46

Hi, I live in London. I have a bright 7 year old who is reasonably friendly. Earlier this year we put him into an academic school thinking it will do him good as it has a lot of facilities and we are both working full time.The best part was he got through without external coaching. I have a friend who is a child psychologist who started identifying that my son was generally restless(as compared to peers) and less focused often drifting apart and coming back. She is strongly suggesting an assessment. Given that a lot has changed for my son with regards to his school, environment, commute and home work I have these worries:-
a) He is still finding his feet and trying to make friends which I know hasn't been easy as we aren't local to the school are. Will the assessment give a true picture?
b) The assessment will require telling the school. Now, I have heard feedback that he often fiddles around with stuff on the table or move the table often disturbing others but we have left it that. Will my child be stigmatized and this backfire if I say he may need support?
I am meeting his class teacher on Tuesday and am not sure how to approach this- whether to share my concerns or keep it open ended? Any advice will be appreciated.

OP posts:
Checklist · 11/12/2017 10:17

If there is a problem, its impact is likely to become more apparent as he moves up the education system, particularly at secondary school, where the demands on organisation become greater; what with moving classrooms and different teachers; more complex, abstract language and concepts; and being expected to produce longer work by themselves!

IMO, an assessment would still give a true picture, because children change schools regularly and undergo assessments in their first year - the behaviours this assessment would be looking for, should exist across several environments?

Stigma is the least of anybody's problems. The behaviour is already there, and which is better for DS - for the school to put it down as "bad behaviour", naughtiness, forgetfulness, disorganisation, untidiness, disrespect, poor parenting, whatever; with all the impact on self esteem or for him to be able say "I have ADD, and that is why I struggle with some things, because my mind works differently"?

Personally, I would prefer the label of ADD, because then the locus of blame is not put on DS and yourselves; there is a disorder in executive functioning, which is nobody's fault. As its recognised as a disability, DS will be entitled to the help he needs and protected from disability discrimination by the Equalities Act. If he broke his leg, would you say he can't have crutches, because the school won't like it?

(DD2 has ADD, diagnosed at university - she was ok at primary, but really struggled all through secondary and while I knew there was something wrong from age 12, I did not know what. She did not struggle any less, just because we had no name for it and being called "scatterbrained" or told off by her teachers, and ignored by her friends, when she could not keep up in conversation, did nothing for her self esteem!)

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