Weekends..feeling lonely

[Imaginosity]

Does anyone else feel a bit lonely at weekends? All my friends children are doing football and endless activities. Lots of children from the class meet up and the parents all seem to know each other well from this. I feel like we are on the edge of things. DS has ASD and is not able for these activities - I have tried - he needs someone with him, watching closely, and even at that its stressful.

Even though DS is happy in himself it just feels so lonely - going off somewhere like the park or a softplay alone. DS is very lucky because he has a little brother he plays with very well but it just seems so limited.

I feel like I am letting my son down as he doesn't get to meet many people. He is in school during the week and goes to an afterschool club he enjoys a few days a week. DH works on Saturdays. I often try to plan somewhere to go but we always go alone - everyone else is too busy at activities. We do go to a group for children with special needs once a week. When I was little we spent all day out playing with friends on our road but there isn't many children where we live - and the ones that are around are busy with activities too.

Just feeling fed up facing into another Saturday.

Hello yes I understand.Our DS goes to indoor climbing, could that be an option? It is a small group or can be 1:1
He gets exercise and some achievement. Apart from that he is more or less socially excluded due to behaviours

My dc have 1:1 swimming but that's it's. Tbh they need weekend just at home decompressing to deal with school on monday.

I'm busy at work most of week so sat morning we clean and tidy. Then swimming with lunch out then straight home. The home all day Sunday relaxing.

I know how you feel imaginosity and it's the same for me. DS1 (6yrs) is simply unable to join in with group activities, no matter how good he may be at the actual activity. We do a saturday morning swim class which DH and I effectively have to TA for DS1 to make sure he stays on track and then we try to spend as much time as possible outdoors. As with you we have an NT DS2 (nearly 4yrs) which I am super grateful for as they adore each other, but I'm conscious that DS2 will be able to do the group stuff DS1 can't and I don't want to stop him, but it will be hard. I also feel lonely and left out by other parents and my friends with kids, because it's simply not fun being around DS1 so much of the time. I'm hoping as he gets older it will improve because he will improve his ability to manage himself and more ASD specific clubs may exist/his peers will develop interests he may find more engaging, but it's hard and heartbreaking and I worry every day.

OP It’s completely normal to feel lonely ! But please, don’t worry about what others are doing in their lives. Focus on your lives and enriching this. It took me a long time to realise that.

When I was growing up, I could play outside with my friends, all day, If I was allowed to. But, sadly, DS is not at that stage yet ( or he may never be) and I was down about that. However, you’ve got to pick yourself up and think of alternatives.

What does your DS like ? When DS was younger, he loved water (still does!) and I thought.... hmm why not take him swimming classes... which we did 1:1 for a long time and now recently his taking part in group lessons ! Also, DS was at the park one day and he always loves playing football with the other kids and I thought.:: hmm why not take DS to football classes. We found a really good football sessions for children with Autism ( the children were very good mind you !). DS went there for a while but stopped due to distance. We then manage to find mainstream football sessions around the local area and because DS learnt so much from his previous football sessions (for Autistic children) he managed very very well in the mainstream football sessions.

I also befriended a parent whose child has similar needs to DS and we always arrange outings to take our kids too. Could you do the same thing at the special needs group you go to ?

What are your DS interests ? Definetly start from that and see where it goes !