Please help. Preschool carer doesn't seem to want to accept my son's SN

[ButterfliesAreWeird]

Today for the first time my son took his communication cards in to preschool. He has two main carers, one is the SENCO, but he was taken in by the other this morning. So I had to explain it to her and she couldn't seem to accept that he needed them. Much in the same way my son's grandfather's don't want to accept there is something wrong. She has always tried to down play any issues he's had that day. I think it's because she cares about him but I don't really know how to address this. I know how to go about it with family and we've been working on their acceptance but obviously this is quite different. What's the best way to go about this? Or should I just leave it?

So you want she nursery to carry on a system your using at home is that right?

In that case I think you need to make a meeting, or st least a phone call, to go through things and put a plan in place not just send them in.

Are the from a SALT? If so maybe worth getting the to contact nursery to

No the head said they were happy to use them and I think the isend are visiting them soon anyway. I just don't know how to get her to be ok with my son having additional needs. This morning just made it clear she wasnt accepting that.

If the Head is is happy about the cards, have a word with him/her and explain your concerns about this other member of staff.

I don't want to get her in trouble though

You need to advocate for your child because no body else will.

You can't just leave it like that. If your son needs to use these cards then everyone in school needs to use them. Tell her again DS needs to use the cards and the head has already agreed to them.

Then if she still doesn't play ball go to the head. If you don't fight for your son nobody else will.

I don't want to get her in trouble though

Would she take a wheelchair off a child who could not walk because she thought she knew best?

Look, this will not be the only time someone 'doesn't see' the need for your child to have certain interventions.
It's not her choice to make. She does not have the qualifications to make that choice. Her 'acceptance' is irrelevant. Her downplaying his condition is disgusting.

You need to step in now and stop this.

See or phone the Head then follow up with an email. It's called making a paper trail and will come in useful later when anyone tries to offer your son less help than he should have.

You need to advocate for your child because no body else will

This

Well i don't think she would ever stop him from using them. Just wouldn't encourage it. Because she doesn't see the need. He does talk but the majority of it is him copying or repeating. So when she asks what's wrong he might say I'm hungry because he's heard about kid say it when really he needs the toilet. Should I just ask that they make sure he always has it? I think if it was always in his reach he would use it most of the time anyway.

* Just wouldn't encourage it. Because she doesn't see the need.*
That's not her call to make. And it is her job to encourage it, if she won't then you need to be demanding requesting another carer who will.

One of the exhausting parts of having a child with non-standard needs following a non-standard developmental path is the need to constantly pep talk support workers so they all are inspired to do what is needed.

Yes unfortunately, unless you have staff well trained in SEN, this is the downside of mainstream education. My son has always fared better when the teachers and support staff understood and had experience of working with autism.

Today when I picked him up I asked him if he used his cards but it turns out they were put in his bag in the morning and stayed there! I was planning on going to talk to them about his needs and making sure everyone was onboard but I was too annoyed then. When I gave him the cards he handed the I'm Hungary card back only for me to find half of his lunch still left in there! I don't know what the best thing to do now is?

This really isn't good enough.I would arrange a meeting with the SENCO to raise your concerns. Could your son's dad go with you?

Im really not sure what I would say to them past he needs to be using them? Oh he doesn't have a father.

You need to sit down with them and explain why he needs to use them, in what way the need to be used, which professionals have suggested they use them etc etc.

Could you phrase it a way of

“How’s ds getting on with his cards? When he left on X day he took the hungry card from his bag and I noted he’d not eaten half his lunch.”

Then see what they say. You’ve then pointed out you knew cards were in bag and that they work and that you kind of know they aren’t using them and that’s why he was hungry!

I’ve nicknamed this approach as the un confrontational kick up the arse

Unfortunately he's never yet seen speech and language despite being referred several times for over a year and having a note in his file basically since birth saying he needs to be assessed pre school. He's not in till Tuesday so I might pop down on Monday to have a chat. Maybe show them how he uses them with me? And give them written instructions that they could give to any others that might be watching him. I'm not sure yet though.

It's ridiculous but there is nothing I can do about it :/